After talking with a few friends, reading a few things online, reading and skimming part of a book that the ex recommended ironically, and naturally thinking of something, here's an update. Most people who even would consider this will consider no contact for 2-6 months. Even though there is no set time, it seems that with such a time gap, usually there was significantly bad blood between the two people. From what I have been able to gather in my personal situation, the "blood", if any, is not all that bad. I made one understandable, but inappropriate question/comment which probably triggered the dislike in other quirks selfishly from my ex. He then saw that he would probably not want a life with me. Despite this, we both know that we still care about each other and think of each other as really good people. I can sense he understands why I said and do the things I do even to the point that he knows that we can still trust each other despite it all. In a way, it's weird to have seen him cry cause he is the one that chose this break up, not me.
We waited about two weeks before meeting up again. This short gap is definitely an indication of how much we bonded together too from the time before. It felt right and that we are starting to slightly defy "the odds."
I have been able to move on enough with enough sounding boards, a good therapist, and deciding that I have too much to offer and too many other people to meet. If I had to work on independence, getting a job, or having my finances in order or similar, then it might be best for me to focus on this. I've already done that for so long. Sure, there's always going to be something, but I realize it's never going to be perfect either. There are going to be people who can accept my quirks and situation. I need to continue to grow my confidence and just need to try when I am ready. I also need to focus on myself in a different way. It's no longer a problem for me to get out and be more social when I need to be. I need to accomplish the chores and clean up my own place as much as I can. This will help me. I may have to give up my part time flexible job, which I really don't want to do. I love it so much as it's even a de-stresser. But in the long run, it may be causing more stress because i accidentally seem to sacrifice sleep for it.
I also realize that I must try to be accepting of others' quirks as much as possible or move on. I also realize that it's okay to be platonic friends with these people if they are open to it and not (intentionally) mean to me or willing to be truly apologetic given the opportunity in-person.
