I don't think making long explanations is an Aspie issue (bear with me, I'm new) but rather a by-product of being an Aspie for a long time. See, when I explain something, people never get my point and start making questions about what I said. So now I rehearse topics in my head before I say anything. I try to think about any possible question people might have and I edit the story in my head. For example, imagine you told me few days ago that you needed a new drill. Then I see a drill on sale. I start with the simple one:
"I saw the xyz power drill on sale @ x-store"
Then I remember there are other stores close by and people will probably complain about x-store being too far away. So I add some math and edit my story before I say it:
"You live in a-county. It takes you 30 minutes to travel to b-county. With current gas prices, that's about $10 bucks round trip. And in b-county, the xyz power drill is on sale. They have it $30 bucks cheaper, minus $10 bucks it cost you to get there, is still $20 bucks cheaper".
And it keeps going on and on. By the time I finally tell you about the drill, I also tell you about the wars in Africa and how they disrupted the mines where the raw materials to make the drill came from...
With a story like the above example, the worst that can happen is that you end up buying whatever cheap drill you find @ the dollar store next door. I would see you with the dollar store drill and think "I did it again, I talked to much about something a people didn't cared". I would feel awkward at the most. But no biggie, next time I tell somebody about the drill I will also add dollar stores in my research so I could cover all points.
Now, the real problem comes when there is actual money or benefits in the balance and getting the money or benefits depends on the listener understanding and believing my story. I'm unemployed and I've been unemployed for almost a year now. People usually think I'm just lazy. People start making the usual questions and every answer I give just leads to more questions. And If I try to provide a full explanation that would cover everything, people don't want to hear it. I was asking for food stamps some months ago. I didn't wanted to do it, but I had to in order to get medical coverage for my kids. And I'm on the phone trying to explain to the DCF lady about the current situation with IT Jobs being outsourced to India, and the lady said "just are just going around in circles", hung up the phone and denied my application. It's very frustrating, I have the answers but I can't make it short. If I make it short, people don't believe it. If I make it long, people don't want to hear it.
This is something I've struggle for so long. I used to think I was just "the unlucky one" and that people don't believe me because the things that happen to me are always the "weirdest and most complicated situations". But now I starting to think that *maybe* just *maybe*, my situations are not complicated or weird at all and it is I that can't possibly explain it without sounding "weird" and "complicated".
Hopefully, I'm not the only one dealing with this kind of problems and I will find some fellow Aspies who could give me some pointers on how to "get my point across" with non-Aspie-humans.
"I saw the xyz power drill on sale @ x-store"
Then I remember there are other stores close by and people will probably complain about x-store being too far away. So I add some math and edit my story before I say it:
"You live in a-county. It takes you 30 minutes to travel to b-county. With current gas prices, that's about $10 bucks round trip. And in b-county, the xyz power drill is on sale. They have it $30 bucks cheaper, minus $10 bucks it cost you to get there, is still $20 bucks cheaper".
And it keeps going on and on. By the time I finally tell you about the drill, I also tell you about the wars in Africa and how they disrupted the mines where the raw materials to make the drill came from...
With a story like the above example, the worst that can happen is that you end up buying whatever cheap drill you find @ the dollar store next door. I would see you with the dollar store drill and think "I did it again, I talked to much about something a people didn't cared". I would feel awkward at the most. But no biggie, next time I tell somebody about the drill I will also add dollar stores in my research so I could cover all points.
Now, the real problem comes when there is actual money or benefits in the balance and getting the money or benefits depends on the listener understanding and believing my story. I'm unemployed and I've been unemployed for almost a year now. People usually think I'm just lazy. People start making the usual questions and every answer I give just leads to more questions. And If I try to provide a full explanation that would cover everything, people don't want to hear it. I was asking for food stamps some months ago. I didn't wanted to do it, but I had to in order to get medical coverage for my kids. And I'm on the phone trying to explain to the DCF lady about the current situation with IT Jobs being outsourced to India, and the lady said "just are just going around in circles", hung up the phone and denied my application. It's very frustrating, I have the answers but I can't make it short. If I make it short, people don't believe it. If I make it long, people don't want to hear it.
This is something I've struggle for so long. I used to think I was just "the unlucky one" and that people don't believe me because the things that happen to me are always the "weirdest and most complicated situations". But now I starting to think that *maybe* just *maybe*, my situations are not complicated or weird at all and it is I that can't possibly explain it without sounding "weird" and "complicated".
Hopefully, I'm not the only one dealing with this kind of problems and I will find some fellow Aspies who could give me some pointers on how to "get my point across" with non-Aspie-humans.
