SRSAutistic
Active Member
Kindly please reply to this thread. I know that this post is long, but it is important.
I have a hard time making NT friends. This is my story of trying to make friends in middle school (intermediate school) and high school (secondary school).
In middle school, when I tried to make friends, I was forced to try to pass as NT, which exhausted me at the end of every school day. Everyone knew me, but I knew nobody as I had no friends. I could only socialise with my aide, teachers, and other adults at school. I joined a chess club in 6th grade (Year 7), but I could not make any friends. I also joined Shark Bytes, a video production and publishing club, but I still could not make any friends. All the students were talking about games such as Fortnite and Minecraft. I do not play those games. I was the only one who was interested in learning to solve the Rubik's Cube. No one was interested in solving the Rubik's Cube and my quest of making friends is still ongoing. I could not make any friends in 7th grade (Year 8). I acquired a special talent to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit and vice versa without a calculator. For example, if you ask me, ‘Convert 23°C to Fahrenheit’, I answer ‘73°F’ in seconds. All my classmates and teachers were amazed when I demonstrated this ability. No one knows how I can do it, and I cannot explain it. In 8th grade (Year 9), I still could not make any friends.
I started high school in August 2019 with the intention of making friends. As soon as I entered high school, I thought ‘High school is only made for NTs’. This thought crossed my mind as I saw that everyone had friends and cliques. I was the only one in the entire school who did not have any friends. I tried to start a Rubik’s Cube and Sudoku club at my school, but I could not find anyone to help. Being autistic, it was hard for me to make friends. Some students started stalking and bullying me for being ‘different’, talking in a monotonous voice, and always ‘talking about that one thing’. My special interests in high school were time zones and electricity (plugs and voltages). I knew everything about them, and I could happily infodump about my special interests to anyone.
In middle school and high school, the only time when I was calm was when I was engaging in my special interests. Fortunately, I got 10 minutes of free time at the end of each class period, except band and PE. Reading about the different types of electrical plugs and voltages soothed me and the special interest was a safe zone.
Now, in September 2022, I will be attending University of California Irvine (UCI) in Computer Engineering. Since I have a special interest in computers and the battery health (performance) of electronic devices, I hope that I will be able to make friends. I really hope that I will not get bullied for having no friends.
For your information, I might be inactive on AF from 22nd September to 11th December. I am starting my first quarter at UCI, and I will have a lot of homework. I know it will be hard, but I will have accommodations to help, and I will eventually finish my computer engineering degree at UCI. The accommodations are similar to my IEP, which I had from preschool to high school. All of my posts will be during the night in Los Angeles time (UTC-7). I will only be able to post messages/threads on weekends. Sometimes, if I have time after finishing my homework, I might be able to post on AF during the weekdays.
I have some questions:
1. How can I make friends when my special interests are significantly different from NT hobbies?
2. I know that we autistics sometimes can make NT friends. All of the suggestions that I read online on other websites include: find people with similar interests, find social groups online, and other 'tips'. I have tried all of these suggestions/tips and they do not work. I have already mentioned my special interests in this post and in other threads. How can I, a high-functioning autistic, make friends in university?
Kindly please reply with your experiences.
I have a hard time making NT friends. This is my story of trying to make friends in middle school (intermediate school) and high school (secondary school).
In middle school, when I tried to make friends, I was forced to try to pass as NT, which exhausted me at the end of every school day. Everyone knew me, but I knew nobody as I had no friends. I could only socialise with my aide, teachers, and other adults at school. I joined a chess club in 6th grade (Year 7), but I could not make any friends. I also joined Shark Bytes, a video production and publishing club, but I still could not make any friends. All the students were talking about games such as Fortnite and Minecraft. I do not play those games. I was the only one who was interested in learning to solve the Rubik's Cube. No one was interested in solving the Rubik's Cube and my quest of making friends is still ongoing. I could not make any friends in 7th grade (Year 8). I acquired a special talent to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit and vice versa without a calculator. For example, if you ask me, ‘Convert 23°C to Fahrenheit’, I answer ‘73°F’ in seconds. All my classmates and teachers were amazed when I demonstrated this ability. No one knows how I can do it, and I cannot explain it. In 8th grade (Year 9), I still could not make any friends.
I started high school in August 2019 with the intention of making friends. As soon as I entered high school, I thought ‘High school is only made for NTs’. This thought crossed my mind as I saw that everyone had friends and cliques. I was the only one in the entire school who did not have any friends. I tried to start a Rubik’s Cube and Sudoku club at my school, but I could not find anyone to help. Being autistic, it was hard for me to make friends. Some students started stalking and bullying me for being ‘different’, talking in a monotonous voice, and always ‘talking about that one thing’. My special interests in high school were time zones and electricity (plugs and voltages). I knew everything about them, and I could happily infodump about my special interests to anyone.
In middle school and high school, the only time when I was calm was when I was engaging in my special interests. Fortunately, I got 10 minutes of free time at the end of each class period, except band and PE. Reading about the different types of electrical plugs and voltages soothed me and the special interest was a safe zone.
Now, in September 2022, I will be attending University of California Irvine (UCI) in Computer Engineering. Since I have a special interest in computers and the battery health (performance) of electronic devices, I hope that I will be able to make friends. I really hope that I will not get bullied for having no friends.
For your information, I might be inactive on AF from 22nd September to 11th December. I am starting my first quarter at UCI, and I will have a lot of homework. I know it will be hard, but I will have accommodations to help, and I will eventually finish my computer engineering degree at UCI. The accommodations are similar to my IEP, which I had from preschool to high school. All of my posts will be during the night in Los Angeles time (UTC-7). I will only be able to post messages/threads on weekends. Sometimes, if I have time after finishing my homework, I might be able to post on AF during the weekdays.
I have some questions:
1. How can I make friends when my special interests are significantly different from NT hobbies?
2. I know that we autistics sometimes can make NT friends. All of the suggestions that I read online on other websites include: find people with similar interests, find social groups online, and other 'tips'. I have tried all of these suggestions/tips and they do not work. I have already mentioned my special interests in this post and in other threads. How can I, a high-functioning autistic, make friends in university?
Kindly please reply with your experiences.
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