Many ways of restlesness - part of the aspie experience?

[DissolvedGirl]

Hello! I've recently self-diagnosed myself and I'm trying to make sense of it all. A big part of me is the fact that it's very hard to find peace. I experience restlessness in multiple ways. A big aspect is the physical one: it's hard to stand still, hard to sit in a chair, I always have to do something with my hands. I can focus and just lay there but usually my movements are pretty dynamic.

The other part is the psychological one. There's always something to solve, something to ponder upon, something more to wish. It's hard to put in words the feelings I get sometimes, but there's some sort of longing inside that peeks its head and makes me want to be somewhere else or have a different life.

The only things that truly chill me out are my special interests, learning about stuff I'm interested in, being in the company of people I love, nature. And I do get moments of peace and quiet, but otherwise it's just a continuous roller-coaster and other hard to describe feelings, a very restless and overactive mind.

I know that many NTs struggle with some degrees of restlesness, caused for instance by anxiety. But it seems like this feeling is deeply ingrained in my experience and it's making it hard for me sometimes to just take things as they are and be relaxed, in the present.

Does this make sense, sound familiar? I'd love to hear your stories. Thank you!

 

[Sloth]

Well, have you considered ADHD? There are many different types and it can often come together with ASD (I have both for example).

In my case, my ADHD is primarily mental, I have to either be processing 100 things at once, or my brain is forced to obsessively think about the same thing over and over. The ability to focus when it comes to special interests can be completely different than for other things.

 

[Peter Morrison]

We all have very active minds, so wanting to be engaged in some activity is normal. I detest boredom and I resent being made to wait for someone who gets sidetracked. Both situations produce anxiety of a kind because I always want to be involved in something happening, or at least put my brain on pause while I wait for the next activity. I love good crossword puzzles, so I make sure I always travel with them if I expect the potential for having to wait or kill 5-10 minutes somewhere. The "be in the moment" is also a way to bring a little peace, but I think that requires some practice. Sometimes, what is around you is not interesting or worth examination. Whatever it is that makes you incapable of sitting still or being entertained by the environment won't change. So many of us have severe likes and dislikes and we can't pretend to enjoy something that disturbs us greatly. Diversion is a useful tactic. It staves off the restlessness that makes us jumpy and tense.

 

[felines are superior]

We probably need more challenge than nts, and we get bored if we don't have it. When I was young, I was very hyper. I used to work in fast food restaurants and loved running like crazy. The manager asked me, "How can you work so fast? I work here three years, and I'm a manager, and you've worked her two months, and I can't work as fast as you do."

 

[Progster]

Yes, me too! I'm kind of restless both mentally and physically. I'm always moving or fidgeting, and I get bored very easily. I hate sitting still for long periods of time, I have to keep getting up. Part of the reason I was attracted to studying foreign languages and cultures was this restlessless, coupled with a feeling that I didn't belong.

I believe this is an ADHD trait - although I'm not formally diagnosed with ADHD, I have one or two strong traits. I believe that meditation, or mindfulness can help with this, though this takes quite a bit of practice.

 

[DissolvedGirl]

Well, have you considered ADHD? There are many different types and it can often come together with ASD (I have both for example).

In my case, my ADHD is primarily mental, I have to either be processing 100 things at once, or my brain is forced to obsessively think about the same thing over and over. The ability to focus when it comes to special interests can be completely different than for other things.

Ooh, interesting! This sounds pretty familiar... Also the obsessing over things, I get stuck all the time.

 

[Mary Anne]

I have a diagnosis which included ADHD, and always must do something with my hands. If I am to focus, I must be doodling, drawing, coloring, crocheting, or doing some craft. Even in college lectures, or at work. Since this is awkward at times, I am seeking out other ways such as having a sqooshy stress toy in hand, chewing gum, or engaging quietly and unobtrusively as possible.

BTW, I recently found out that NAMI meetings were enforcing the not allowed to do anything but listen during the 2 hour mental health support meetings. I was outraged, and called the National headquarters and they made sure that all NAMI meetings “allow” people to stim, fidget, do needlework, etc. if they need to as long as it’s not disruptive. This was a huge win win for us fidgety people. NAMI is the National Alliance on Mental Illness. The support groups are all over the USA on the website, and welcome all people including those with autism and adhd. https://www.nami.org/

 

[WittyAspie]

You just described my life. Thank you for putting into words what I experience day in and day out.