Masters Degree: I'm very very very scared

[Cailan Tangaroa]

Hi everyone,

I will be starting my Masters Degree next month in Literature. Although I really want it, and I really love to study, I am terrified of all organizational/administrative and social aspects of it. I feel like I'm about to blow up just by thinking I will have to go to a new city, and meet so many new people in a new place...

I don't handle change very well, but I have learnt to at least pretend in front of everyone else that I am not stressed out. But I am. I am scared of being so anxious that I can't speak, I'm afraid of not being able to say anything or ask anyone (because I hate asking strangers about things like directions, lecture schedules etc).

I also get really overwhelmed by crowds of people that are waiting for something (like an opening ceremony). They stress me out so much... at least we will be wearing masks, like real covid-related masks, so one part of me is comfortable with the idea that nobody's going to completely see my face and for some reason I like that.

But I am very stressed out. I feel like I want to give it all up, but I don't really want that, because I want to have this degree and I want to live my life...

Do you have any advice how to get myself more calm and deal with this feeling? Or something I can do or think that can help? Any idea is appreciated, guys! Thanks!

 

[lateundiagnosed]

i started on my masters degree in communication but never finished (maybe some day). i dont think its any different than getting the bachelors degree. its a bit overwhelming i get it. i remember seeing one of the campus counselors there a few times maybe they can guide you thru some of it. i think as long as you have someone or some idea why your feeling the way you do for example autism and have the means to obtain medication for it, youll get thru it. i let my bipolar get the best of me and never understood what was happening to me at the time. even normal students drop out. i think the ratio of students who drop out(this is my opinion) are just as high as the ones who graduate at colleges.

 

[Mia]

You're going to be wearing a mask, so, deep breathing is usually what I do when I'm stressed. You can practice taking breaths through the mask, slightly deep breaths if possible. Focus on the breathing four or five times when it becomes stressful. I would often talk to myself in a mirror, and relate all the things that I should do ahead of when it would happen. It helped me to focus and narrow down my fears to specific issues, a lot of my fear came from being unprepared for the unknown.

What I have done in your situation, is familiarize myself ahead of time with a map. Using your phone and walking around to find the places you need to know. Learning all that you need to within reason ahead of time. You can practice asking people for directions beforehand, so it's not so difficult to do so under stressful conditions, until it becomes usual.

You can do this, even if your brain is constantly going through all the scenarios over and over and it's interfering with your sleep and day to day activities. Try to consider all the writers and even journalists, who went into situations that were stressful and difficult, and came out on the other side with an ability to tell those stories afterward. Think of this new situation as something extraordinary, that will stretch your understanding of yourself and others, another clue into what makes us all who we are.

 

[Cailan Tangaroa]

You're going to be wearing a mask, so, deep breathing is usually what I do when I'm stressed. You can practice taking breaths through the mask, slightly deep breaths if possible. Focus on the breathing four or five times when it becomes stressful. I would often talk to myself in a mirror, and relate all the things that I should do ahead of when it would happen. It helped me to focus and narrow down my fears to specific issues, a lot of my fear came from being unprepared for the unknown.

What I have done in your situation, is familiarize myself ahead of time with a map. Using your phone and walking around to find the places you need to know. Learning all that you need to within reason ahead of time. You can practice asking people for directions beforehand, so it's not so difficult to do so under stressful conditions, until it becomes usual.

You can do this, even if your brain is constantly going through all the scenarios over and over and it's interfering with your sleep and day to day activities. Try to consider all the writers and even journalists, who went into situations that were stressful and difficult, and came out on the other side with an ability to tell those stories afterward. Think of this new situation as something extraordinary, that will stretch your understanding of yourself and others, another clue into what makes us all who we are.

Mia, thank you for the advice, I will definitely try all of this out. I don't know if I would be able to go to familiarize myself with it as it's in another city, but I can maybe just look around on Google Maps or something. Thank you so much!

 

[Cailan Tangaroa]

You can go get a Literature job where they grow on the Literature trees?

I've refrained from spending money on education right now, with the fear that I'll waste time and money learning something that will not earn me a living. There is also the added pitfall of ageism.

Dan, thanks for answering.

Well, you are maybe right but I really love literature and hope to one day be able to write for a living. I am currently kinda doing that, although it's not exactly the things I would love to write.
I just feel like I don't want to give this up as it's important to me, although I will not be sure if I can get a job with it.

 

[Cailan Tangaroa]

i started on my masters degree in communication but never finished (maybe some day). i dont think its any different than getting the bachelors degree. its a bit overwhelming i get it. i remember seeing one of the campus counselors there a few times maybe they can guide you thru some of it. i think as long as you have someone or some idea why your feeling the way you do for example autism and have the means to obtain medication for it, youll get thru it. i let my bipolar get the best of me and never understood what was happening to me at the time. even normal students drop out. i think the ratio of students who drop out(this is my opinion) are just as high as the ones who graduate at colleges.

Thanks for the answer! I will try to search for campus counselor or something... I don't have an official diagnosis whether I am on the spectrum or not , but an psychologist acquaintance of my mom's said that I most likely am when we talked to her... so idk, but at the moment it seems like I can't get any medication.

 

[Progster]

Yes, starting a new course, daunting. When I started my Master's, I arrived early and visited the campus to familiarize myself with it and locate places I needed to go before I started the course. That helped. But I was studying in my home town, and that helped too.

 

[Finder]

You will be fine. Simply recognize the anxiety you are creating for yourself--I am not being mean, but I try to put my anxiety into perspective, knowing what I feel is far greater than the situation is.

If it helps, make lists and check them off. Yes, getting started will be stressful. But the more you get done, the less stress you will have.

You should also get an advisor. Take advantage of that person. They are there to support you. I also find it tough to ask for help, but I am learning to foster that skill. That will also be important in your writing career. Living in a vacuum is really hard.

My master's degree was online and so that eliminated some of the stress for me. I focused on immediate goals. Remember, this is for you. Pursue your interests and don't worry about those around you--note, I am autistic so this can seem normal, but the anxiety is there.

My masters was a lot of work (policy analysis), but it was well worth it. The degree was very useful for my career as well. Your school will want you to succeed. You will find people there as well. Yes, it is stressful, but forgive yourself the stress.

BTW, congratulations in getting into your program. (You see, they do want you!) It will be a great adventure.

 

[Streetwise]

Thanks for the answer! I will try to search for campus counselor or something... I don't have an official diagnosis whether I am on the spectrum or not , but an psychologist acquaintance of my mom's said that I most likely am when we talked to her... so idk, but at the moment it seems like I can't get any medication.

I've got tablets for panic disorder, 40mg daily ,highest dosage for that ssri ,but I'm panicking at this moment ,medicine can help for a bit !but not for years ,CBT was doing something for me but the UK only gives 6 sessions?why 6?.
The idea with phobia therapy is do an amount increasing so go to the university for a minute then increase in therapy terms going at the beginning of term and staying for all your lessons is flooding ,my mother studied literature to degree level ,she loved English literature, thankfully we have in her view had a modest house so I'm not being crushed to death with books she wasn't a hoarder though ,ebooks would have opened heaven for her .

 

[Gracey]

Those anticipated scenarios created by fear haven't happen yet, you still have time to change any or all of it.

Breathing techniques have worked for me in the past.
As a pause, a break from those repetitive, self sabotaging, negative thoughts.

If fear is going to take the very heart of you and persuade you to run, give up, feed your doubts,

try to remind yourself why you're there and how hard you've worked to get this far.
try to remind yourself of how good studying literature makes you feel.

Your 'Masters' wont come from being great at opening ceremonies. The ceremony wont last forever, your Masters will.
Grit your teeth and push through those few hours of uncertainty.

If you're unfamiliar with the ceremony itself, somebody, somewhere will have filmed one and stuck it on youtube for anyone to watch

I too would be researching google maps for town/city/ campus layout/ building and street names in advance.
Familiarise myself with the environment I'll be in.

I wish you the best of luck

 

[VictorR]

I see each move as a chance for a new start, sure, I don't know know anyone, but that means I'm also a blank slate. Nonetheless, I subscribe to the "When in Rome..." theory and will try to fit in as best I can.

The first thing I do when going to a new town is to voraciously study anything I can find on it - it's demographics, geography, history, and if possible, a list of "you know you're from _ if..."

At my first lecture, I introduced myself to my neighbor, and once we got the pleasantries done and I found he was a local, the first question I asked was "How do you pronounce _?" (certain street named after one of the early settlers).

When I had time, I'd go wandering in my new hometown. Get a chance to be a tourist before I become, temporarily, a local. See the mannerisms, the speech, the customs, and make some adjustments to my own. If there's one good thing about being an outsider, it that any quirks can be attributed to being a newcomer, and that really lightens the load and pressure to confirm as well.

 

[Aspychata]

First of all- lol- l am going to start with completely opposite words. Worry worry worry as hard as you can. Then sit back and realize you did it. Then swing to the opposite direction of how rewarding it feel to accomplish this goal despite all the obstacles that do pop up in universities. I love to check out places first, to feel more at home. Try to do some of the things you do now so that you will find some comfort in that. If you swim, try to do that there. Same with gym, or movies or bowling, gaming etc. An advisor would be excellent to have so that if something comes up, you have a good contact to help out. This is a super exciting time in your life, and it represents major growth on many different levels. Of course, you will need to work hard, but this forum totally supports you.☺

Being scared is a totally normal reaction. My daughter was so frighten of high school. Now she is attending college. You got this.

 

[Cailan Tangaroa]

Everyone, thanks so much for all this advice, I feel so supported here it's unimaginable. I haven't had that much support in my life up until now!

@Streetwise I will make sure to try and follow your advice, if I can go earlier to the city, I will definitely visit the campus before classes begin.

Thank you @Gracey, you are right, it’s so true the ceremony will come and go, and the Masters will stay! I will make sure to stick this into my mind and even get it written somewhere to remind me of you words, sooo true!

@VictorR thank you for your great words. I feel like if I just think of this opportunity as exploring and studying the people and situations, I start immediately feeling less stressed out about it...

@Aspychata omg you're so encouraging! I will make sure to really think about the rewarding feeling of not running away from a challenge.

I've been here on this forum for a couple of days and I already feel support, warmth, and understanding that I had never felt to such extent from other people before. I'm really grateful for all of your answers and I will go through all of them again and again, making sure I remember them and when I get stressed out, will go through your advice and remind myself of that warm and grateful feeling I am experiencing right now!