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me, here

rowen

New Member
I was diagnosed 7/8 years ago, so having ASD isn't new to me. The thing I struggle with is lack of identifying with the disorder. I don't feel autistic, I don't often identify with other autistic people or symptoms and it upsets me. I feel dishonest.

I was more obviously autistic when I was a child, but I'm a very different person now that I've grown up and the symptoms that diagnosed me before have since mostly faded.

One of the things is that I've never had hypersensitivity, though I do believe I have had hyposensitivity - I wasn't sensitive to cold as a child, would always ask to be squeezed really hard, run into walls on purpose, rub silky fabrics all the time. Discussion in mainstream media and such just has such a focus on hypersensitivity - which is understandable given it is a much bigger struggle compared to what I know of hyposensitivity - while hyposensitivity is practically never discussed or acknowledged. This kind of stuff makes me feel fake and like I shouldn't call myself autistic.

Just not feeling great about it I guess, and I'm hoping being here will help me find other people who are like me or who have experiences like mine outside of the 'typical' autistic experience
 
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Hi and welcome. Well, the autistic spectrum is very varied, and the issues you experience are as valid as anyone else's experience, even if you happen to be a minority within a minority. Famous auty Temple Grandin made a squeeze machine, so she seems to have liked that sensation.

I hope you enjoy it here and find it useful and supportive.

:rocket::mountaincableway::helicopter::fireengine::taxi::tractor::sailboat::truck::car::ambulance::mountainbiker::bus:
 
Welcome! To add to what @Thinx said, everyone on the spectrum is unique and our experiences varied.

That being said, as we learn an adapt, some tendencies may diminish, and in certain cases, even become no longer significant (!) - Tony Attwood mentions a case (I think it was in Could it be Aspergers?) of undiagnosing someone (?!)
 
If you no longer want to identify as autistic, I don't see any reason why you need to.
 
Symptoms can change from time to time. I'm absolutely fine with someone experiencing hyposensitivity rather than hypersensitivity even though I'm more on the hypersensitivity side of things I know people with symptoms of hyposensitivity in real life so that makes sense to me that you may dislike identifying as an autistic.

Until I was an adult I didn't meet any other people that had similar symptoms until I talked to others online as most autistics I encountered at school had far more mental and physical learning disabilities than I did even though I had some of them. However no one has to be visibly autistic to be autistic as some mask their symptoms like I often do when out in public and some people won't even know I'm autistic until I tell them so you're alright by me.
 
I was diagnosed 7/8 years ago, so having ASD isn't new to me. The thing I struggle with is lack of identifying with the disorder. I don't feel autistic, I don't often identify with other autistic people or symptoms and it upsets me. I feel dishonest.

I was more obviously autistic when I was a child, but I'm a very different person now that I've grown up and the symptoms that diagnosed me before have since mostly faded.

One of the things is that I've never had hypersensitivity, though I do believe I have had hyposensitivity - I wasn't sensitive to cold as a child, would always ask to be squeezed really hard, run into walls on purpose, rub silky fabrics all the time. Discussion in mainstream media and such just has such a focus on hypersensitivity - which is understandable given it is a much bigger struggle compared to what I know of hyposensitivity - while hyposensitivity is practically never discussed or acknowledged. This kind of stuff makes me feel fake and like I shouldn't call myself autistic.

Just not feeling great about it I guess, and I'm hoping being here will help me find other people who are like me or who have experiences like mine outside of the 'typical' autistic experience

A few thoughts here:

1. It could be that you were actually misdiagnosed.
2. It could be that you have been able to change your behavior over the years and/or are unconsciously masking your signs and symptoms.
3. As others have said, autism can present in different ways. There are common signs and symptoms that would make a psychologist suggest the diagnosis of autism,...but there is so much more that makes us all different from one another. Not everyone has hyper and hypo sensitivity issues,...so I wouldn't hang my hat on that. Many of us have often shocked family and friends with our diagnosis,..."Wow, I would have never guessed you were autistic!" "You must be one of the "high-functioning" ones." Worse, is the disbelief and denial from the ones closest to us. "Well, they have a label for everything now-a-days". "Oh, everyone experiences those symptoms from time to time." Perhaps,...but not all the time, 24/7, 365 days out of the year.
4. Personally speaking, it wasn't until I started taking the "deep dive" into the autism research that I had signs and symptoms that I didn't even know were common to autistics. Several times, as I am reading, I would say to myself, "I have had that my entire life,...just thought that was normal." In addition, I had no idea of all the neuroanatomical changes and neurobiochemical alterations that are common to autism,...and that these changes occur at the earliest stages in the developing fetus,...we are born with it. I believe, at some point, neuroimaging studies will be part of the diagnostic process.
5. As far as the media and actor portrayals of what an autistic is supposed to act like,...most are horrible misrepresentations. It makes me seriously wonder where they come up with these character profiles,...almost like they are just making it up out of thin air.
 
A few thoughts here:

1. It could be that you were actually misdiagnosed.
2. It could be that you have been able to change your behavior over the years and/or are unconsciously masking your signs and symptoms.
3. As others have said, autism can present in different ways. There are common signs and symptoms that would make a psychologist suggest the diagnosis of autism,...but there is so much more that makes us all different from one another. Not everyone has hyper and hypo sensitivity issues,...so I wouldn't hang my hat on that. Many of us have often shocked family and friends with our diagnosis,..."Wow, I would have never guessed you were autistic!" "You must be one of the "high-functioning" ones." Worse, is the disbelief and denial from the ones closest to us. "Well, they have a label for everything now-a-days". "Oh, everyone experiences those symptoms from time to time." Perhaps,...but not all the time, 24/7, 365 days out of the year.
4. Personally speaking, it wasn't until I started taking the "deep dive" into the autism research that I had signs and symptoms that I didn't even know were common to autistics. Several times, as I am reading, I would say to myself, "I have had that my entire life,...just thought that was normal." In addition, I had no idea of all the neuroanatomical changes and neurobiochemical alterations that are common to autism,...and that these changes occur at the earliest stages in the developing fetus,...we are born with it. I believe, at some point, neuroimaging studies will be part of the diagnostic process.
5. As far as the media and actor portrayals of what an autistic is supposed to act like,...most are horrible misrepresentations. It makes me seriously wonder where they come up with these character profiles,...almost like they are just making it up out of thin air.
Could you recommend any reading material featuring biochemical alterations in autistic people?
 
Could you recommend any reading material featuring biochemical alterations in autistic people?

You can do a Google Scholar and/or a PubMed search for:

"Autism" and,..."dopamine", "GABA", "glutamine", "oxytocin", "vasopressin", "methylation of B12",...just to name a few. Each one will have several hits,...most of this is well-researched.
 

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