I was diagnosed 7/8 years ago, so having ASD isn't new to me. The thing I struggle with is lack of identifying with the disorder. I don't feel autistic, I don't often identify with other autistic people or symptoms and it upsets me. I feel dishonest.
I was more obviously autistic when I was a child, but I'm a very different person now that I've grown up and the symptoms that diagnosed me before have since mostly faded.
One of the things is that I've never had hypersensitivity, though I do believe I have had hyposensitivity - I wasn't sensitive to cold as a child, would always ask to be squeezed really hard, run into walls on purpose, rub silky fabrics all the time. Discussion in mainstream media and such just has such a focus on hypersensitivity - which is understandable given it is a much bigger struggle compared to what I know of hyposensitivity - while hyposensitivity is practically never discussed or acknowledged. This kind of stuff makes me feel fake and like I shouldn't call myself autistic.
Just not feeling great about it I guess, and I'm hoping being here will help me find other people who are like me or who have experiences like mine outside of the 'typical' autistic experience
I was more obviously autistic when I was a child, but I'm a very different person now that I've grown up and the symptoms that diagnosed me before have since mostly faded.
One of the things is that I've never had hypersensitivity, though I do believe I have had hyposensitivity - I wasn't sensitive to cold as a child, would always ask to be squeezed really hard, run into walls on purpose, rub silky fabrics all the time. Discussion in mainstream media and such just has such a focus on hypersensitivity - which is understandable given it is a much bigger struggle compared to what I know of hyposensitivity - while hyposensitivity is practically never discussed or acknowledged. This kind of stuff makes me feel fake and like I shouldn't call myself autistic.
Just not feeling great about it I guess, and I'm hoping being here will help me find other people who are like me or who have experiences like mine outside of the 'typical' autistic experience