Me radically avoidant?

[Aspychata]

So being on the spectrum is just one of my beautiful tricks. Apparently l suffer a tab from avoidant personality which makes relationships stressful especially if the other person seems to maybe go through it.
Just means l take things very slowly because l need permission that it's okay to be around that person. Like l have a perversion that l need to know it's okay to connect with you if you hadn't talked to me for some time. Does anybody suffer from this, like not wanting to overstep some invisible boundary that l may be unaware of? Like a heightened sense or hyper-senstivity to not stepping on the other's toes (feelings ). Like some alien social protocol that only my alien brain computes the data for. For one NY minute, l thought they would call the police on me (just me being neurotic). Sometimes we are our worse enemy. Understand l don't feel shame, l just don't want to look like a complete idiot. I can handle partial idiot status, that's doable.

 

[Fact Ten]

Yes. When I went through a comprehensive diagnostic last year, I was pretty sure they were going to diagnose me with Avoidant PD but they said afterwards that my issues that could fall under that diagnosis were easier/better explained by MDD and GAD.

Specifically to your post, I often feel like I need to ask permission (sometimes I actually do ask) and may ask every single time. I'll usually ask "May I join you?" or some variation. Unfortunately, I've recently had an experience where a friend has been upset with me for weeks but never told me. I found out from a third party that I had been upsetting them but they never told me. I hate when people aren't straightforward and honest because not only does it hurt even more than honesty would, it reinforces my anxiety and can trigger my depression.

 

[WoodWorkingJoel]

I'm the same with not reaching out to family, always feels like Id be intruding mainly because I felt that way when small was started.

 

[SusanLR]

Yes, I feel the same @Aspychata .
I want to connect or feel I can be a friend to certain people, but, I never know how to start because of
the same feelings of not wanting to seem pushy, overstep that invisible line, and need to know it is OK
to show I want to be closer with them.
It is a feeling of not knowing what they feel towards me and I don't want to run them off by being
overly friendly.
Guess that's how I'd describe it.

 

[Wolfnox]

Yep. To an almost painful level.

 

[Peter Jansen]

Is Avoidant Personality Disorder just a matter of preferring to remain at home alone & "in your shell?"

 

[Schism]

I am a fearful avoidant. So this corona virus 2019 pandemic? My Brian (brain is called Brian as common typo for me) says sod walking the dog, XBox One ON, & eat my way through my freezer for the next 6 months! Needs an annual defrost anyway ☺
...types whilst sneezing. .omg...

 

[Aspychata]

Is Avoidant Personality Disorder just a matter of preferring to remain at home alone & "in your shell?"

Is Avoidant Personality Disorder just a matter of preferring to remain at home alone & "in your shell?"

Good question- l feel awkward in situations involving people. Like l can make up a million excuses about something then walk away from it because l convinced myself to avoid the imaginary train crash. It's neurotic anxiety about everything, tends to be prevalent with emotional neglect in childhood. So walking away from relationships and/or avoiding feelings is way easier but l am changing that dynamic. However, l felt so relieved to read that other posters knew about this (Woody Allen tic). It use to be way worse but l was able to work thru excessive worrying that l had as a younger adult.