I just thought of something that I do that is very likely related to Asperger's and thought I'd share it and see if this fits anyone else.
Part of my "normal" face is "social reflexes" - attempting to read social cues and respond to them appropriately, even if I don't understand them. For instance, if someone walks up to me with a right hand extended and held vertically, I know that means that person wants to shake hands, so I extend my right hand in the same manner and smile. When they grip my hand, I feel myself wince a bit because I'm never prepared for the squeeze and then I awkwardly attempt to fit my hand properly within theirs so I can squeeze too. It's all very awkward and uncomfortable, but I do it because that's what people do. This isn't the reason for the post, though.
Something I just now realized that I do that's related to Asperger's is that when someone is telling a story in a very animated way, they will typically act out the parts of all the people involved. For instance, if they want to tell me about the time they met the governor, they will act out their part of the conversation as well as the governor's. Here's where the awkwardness hits.
When they act out the governor's part, they might walk up to me with their right hand extended and held vertically. They will smile as they believe the governor did. And they will say what they believe the governor said. That's when I get confused about whether or not I should respond. My social reflex seems to think I should, but then I think, "That's stupid. I already know this person. I'm not going to shake hands as if we'd never met. That would be a social faux pas...right?" But then, when the person just stands there with their hand out, I feel like they really want me to take it. But I'm not certain about that. If I were telling the story, I'd say, "Take my hand" so the other person would know what to do. But they don't because they expect me to know the cues and respond appropriately.
So what happens from the objective perspective is I half-smile, stick my hand out, then pull it back as the smile fades and I try to return to my "yes-I'm-listening-to-your-story" face even though my mind is darting through all these thoughts.
Now, of course, this is just one example. There are other similar situations, but this is the one that came to mind, so I thought I'd share and see what everyone else thinks.
Part of my "normal" face is "social reflexes" - attempting to read social cues and respond to them appropriately, even if I don't understand them. For instance, if someone walks up to me with a right hand extended and held vertically, I know that means that person wants to shake hands, so I extend my right hand in the same manner and smile. When they grip my hand, I feel myself wince a bit because I'm never prepared for the squeeze and then I awkwardly attempt to fit my hand properly within theirs so I can squeeze too. It's all very awkward and uncomfortable, but I do it because that's what people do. This isn't the reason for the post, though.
Something I just now realized that I do that's related to Asperger's is that when someone is telling a story in a very animated way, they will typically act out the parts of all the people involved. For instance, if they want to tell me about the time they met the governor, they will act out their part of the conversation as well as the governor's. Here's where the awkwardness hits.
When they act out the governor's part, they might walk up to me with their right hand extended and held vertically. They will smile as they believe the governor did. And they will say what they believe the governor said. That's when I get confused about whether or not I should respond. My social reflex seems to think I should, but then I think, "That's stupid. I already know this person. I'm not going to shake hands as if we'd never met. That would be a social faux pas...right?" But then, when the person just stands there with their hand out, I feel like they really want me to take it. But I'm not certain about that. If I were telling the story, I'd say, "Take my hand" so the other person would know what to do. But they don't because they expect me to know the cues and respond appropriately.
So what happens from the objective perspective is I half-smile, stick my hand out, then pull it back as the smile fades and I try to return to my "yes-I'm-listening-to-your-story" face even though my mind is darting through all these thoughts.
Now, of course, this is just one example. There are other similar situations, but this is the one that came to mind, so I thought I'd share and see what everyone else thinks.
