Misunderstandings

[RemyZee]

There are times I am totally clueless. I find myself reacting to what people say in ways that make it seem like I didn't hear anything they were just talking about--and chances are I didn't. My mind sneaks off after around 5 seconds of talking to someone and I completely forget what they just said, or what I just said. People do things that I completely misinterpret--partly because I stop being able to interpret or even hear what people are saying. I can maybe follow people for a couple of minutes before things get jumbled. I have been told before that it seems like I'm not understanding what people say. That is exactly what is happening. When I was a teenager my family gave me a tee shirt for the holidays--it said "I know you're there, I'm just not listening" because people always assume I'm not listening..... when in actuality I am listening TOO much. It's almost like taking it all in at the same time, I can't filter out the unimportant parts, so I go into the nodding and uh huh mode...basically where I have no idea what someone is saying but I act like I do--nodding my head and looking for an escape hatch. It means I can never really be myself in real time--the things inside get lost in the clutter. Also, it is completely different to do things in writing.

 

[Kayla55]

I know what you mean, I've always gotten this a lot. I think PTSD makes it worse, at my age I'm such a recluse and to exacerbate the above mentioned issue I'm stuck in my own world, often trying to navigate life on my inner terms and missing whats being said until someone states the obvious in more blatant form that it's impossible for me to live in my capsule of denial any further.

 

[Outdated]

My mind sneaks off after around 5 seconds of talking to someone and I completely forget what they just said, or what I just said.

Attention deficit?

People do things that I completely misinterpret--partly because I stop being able to interpret or even hear what people are saying. I can maybe follow people for a couple of minutes before things get jumbled.

Audio Processing Disorder?

I'm usually fine with one or two people but any more than that at the same time and I start suffering similar problems.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

This phenomenon tends to effect me when someone is (1) emotional, (2) speaking quickly, and/or (3) on the phone.

I am often "charge" or team leader at work... and with this responsibility it means several phone calls for immediate assistance. I hate having to ask people to repeat their requests 2-3 times or dig into clarifying questions when, clearly, they are in an excited, anxious state where time is something they don't have. I can only imagine the level of frustration.

I don't know... but I might blame this on an auditory processing condition.

If people are calm, deliberate, and precise with their language... no issues.

 

[are]

Conversations are hard.

 

[Grondhammar]

@RemyZee, I really relate to this. I listen and my mind gets pulled 40 different directions (ok that might be exaggerating but lots of different ways).

1) I hear the background hum of the lights and any other electronics in the area, cars outside, loud birds nearby, any kids in the vicinity, the sound of the blower if there's forced-air AC/heating, the creak of chairs three rooms away, etc.

2) I hear the words people are saying, but a certain phrase they use will make me think of a song, or remember something another person said a few days ago, or remind me of a pet I forgot to take care of that morning. And my mind will go down that path instead of continuing to listen.

3) And then there's the problem of trying to follow the thought process of this person who's talking, who thinks in a completely different way than I do, and failing to do so, and getting much more interested in thinking about medieval architecture, or the relationship between japanese and germanic mythology, or the way the light is bouncing off the wall behind the person and colouring the leaves of a plant.

And that all results in me appearing to be lost in my own thoughts. Which I am. I admit it.

I've learned to compensate for this somewhat. Even though I know it's non-genuine and "bad", I've memorised certain phrases and questions that are non-committal but that help the person feel like I'm following. I try to keep conversations short. And sometimes when I have the energy, I work really-really-really hard to block everything else out, and follow what a person is saying, and think like they're thinking, and respond like they want me to respond. And then I just want to jump off the nearest cliff because I so totally don't belong here.

But, I remain, and deal with it, and keep hoping something will change.

edit: having said all that, I can think of lots of times when a conversation has been really interesting and totally follow-able. The general rule seems to be that it's 1) with one individual, 2) in a quiet setting. and 3) I don't have eye contact problems with this person for some reason. Curious.

 

[RemyZee]

Attention deficit?

Audio Processing Disorder?

I'm usually fine with one or two people but any more than that at the same time and I start suffering similar problems.

@RemyZee, I really relate to this. I listen and my mind gets pulled 40 different directions (ok that might be exaggerating but lots of different ways).

1) I hear the background hum of the lights and any other electronics in the area, cars outside, loud birds nearby, any kids in the vicinity, the sound of the blower if there's forced-air AC/heating, the creak of chairs three rooms away, etc.

2) I hear the words people are saying, but a certain phrase they use will make me think of a song, or remember something another person said a few days ago, or remind me of a pet I forgot to take care of that morning. And my mind will go down that path instead of continuing to listen.

3) And then there's the problem of trying to follow the thought process of this person who's talking, who thinks in a completely different way than I do, and failing to do so, and getting much more interested in thinking about medieval architecture, or the relationship between japanese and germanic mythology, or the way the light is bouncing off the wall behind the person and colouring the leaves of a plant.

And that all results in me appearing to be lost in my own thoughts. Which I am. I admit it.

I've learned to compensate for this somewhat. Even though I know it's non-genuine and "bad", I've memorised certain phrases and questions that are non-committal but that help the person feel like I'm following. I try to keep conversations short. And sometimes when I have the energy, I work really-really-really hard to block everything else out, and follow what a person is saying, and think like they're thinking, and respond like they want me to respond. And then I just want to jump off the nearest cliff because I so totally don't belong here.

But, I remain, and deal with it, and keep hoping something will change.

edit: having said all that, I can think of lots of times when a conversation has been really interesting and totally follow-able. The general rule seems to be that it's 1) with one individual, 2) in a quiet setting. and 3) I don't have eye contact problems with this person for some reason. Curious.

Like you, There are a couple of things I've found that do help when I get lost in a conversation. I don't know how other people experience echolalia, or if that's what I experience....but I find that when I internally repeat what people are saying, I seem to keep up much better with the conversations. I don't know if that's partly what is happening when people have echolalia. Also, I've gotten much less shy about simply saying, "What in the hell was I just talking about?" People are generally very forgiving and will remind me of the subject.