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Mom with teenage son say hey :)

A

Anne

Well-Known Member
:unsure: Good day to all who read this! I'm a mom of a few children and my youngest son has some difficulties, tested at two years old. The professionals were of the opinion he had a form of autism but after his testing they felt he didn't fit the spectrum. He is now 14 and for a few years of the both of us researching, we feel he has Asbergers. He is going to be tested again but as he grows in his teen years I'm having difficulty knowing how to support him. I hope in this forum I will get support myself, and hopefully some information that will help all of our family.
Thank you to all who made this forum possible. I am very happy to have found it! :)
 
Hello Anne! Welcome to the forum there are many other parents with kids they believe are on the spectrum who come here seeking info & just to talk. I hope you find what you're looking for & enjoy your time here.
 
Welcome Anne. My son will be 14 this month. things change al lot at this age and I think especially between a mother and son. He wants to try to learn about being a nam and dose not want to be 'mothered' like when he was younger. It's hard. My son is due for an evaluation also and I beleive he has undiagnosed Asperger's. I am fairly new here as well. I have found the members quite helpfull and supportive and am really glad I joined. Sounds like we have a lot in common.
 
smith2267 said:
Happy to help. I wish someone had known what was wrong with me as a teen.
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Smith, I would say in reply, there's nothing 'wrong' with you. I've heard say that geniuses like Einstien has Asbergers so I'd say you're probably in ways, gifted :D
 
Anne said:
Smith, I would say in reply, there's nothing 'wrong' with you. I've heard say that geniuses like Einstien has Asbergers so I'd say you're probably in ways, gifted :D
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It's like being left handed. It's a disability because aspies are a minority and the world is not an aspie friendly place.
 
smith2267 said:
It's like being left handed. It's a disability because aspies are a minority and the world is not an aspie friendly place.
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Mabey it's like being gay.:P You are born that way. You look at others and how they are different from you. You feel there is something wrong with you. You try to 'act' like you see others are. No matter how much you try to 'pass' as what the world weiws as norman you never feel like you are like them. You feel the need to hide what you really are inside becouse it dosn't fit what you are supposed to be. However I would think being gay would be all of this and worse becouse you then add the people who woulld shame you, tell lyou you are imoral, going to hell and that you are chooseing the 'wrong' way of being...... sad:(.
 
Undiagnosed said:
Mabey it's like being gay.:P You are born that way. You look at others and how they are different from you. You feel there is something wrong with you. You try to 'act' like you see others are. No matter how much you try to 'pass' as what the world weiws as norman you never feel like you are like them. You feel the need to hide what you really are inside becouse it dosn't fit what you are supposed to be. However I would think being gay would be all of this and worse becouse you then add the people who woulld shame you, tell lyou you are imoral, going to hell and that you are chooseing the 'wrong' way of being...... sad:(.
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Good analogy
 
Hi -- This is my first post. My son has been struggling socially, I have suspected Aspergers for a long time, but he has been screened more than once (due to ADHD issues) and has never clinically met the criteria to be diagnosed. Now we are in a terrible place. We found out he was cutting himself, violated his privacy and discovered he was very depressed and suicidal (don't ask how he successfully hid his depression for months, but he did, including having a psychiatrist evaluate him and say -- "your son is fine".
 
Sorry, didn't finish my introduction before it posted accidentally, and then I couldn't finish it until the mods approved it as it is still my first post! My son is 14, and is inpatient in the hospital right now, and has started on meds. We are beginning to see the depression lift. He will be in a partial hospitalization program beginning next week -- they will treat his depression and Aspergers... he has an unofficial diagnosis from his psychiatrist, we haven't yet seen a neuropsychologist for testing that is the next step.

One puzzling symptom that I can't find any reference to in the literature, is an aversion to a few different people. He cannot look them in the eye, cannot tolerate being near them, and has an almost physical reaction when they are near, he recoils and hides his face. Our therapist has indicated that this is part of the PDD that he has, but my research is not turning up much information on this. I'd appreciate any experience anyone has had with this.
 
Hi and welcome!

You mention "a few different people" and you can't find anything about it. Who are those few people? Perhaps these people have cause him trauma at some point.

From own experience... I'm an adult, so I can steer clear of those people easier I guess, but that doesn't make it so that I do not have some kind of aversion or bad feelings about some people in the past. That group is limited, but it's there, for a variety of reasons.

Also; you mention they will treat his depression and Aspergers? Depression I can fully understand treatment for. What are they planning for his Aspergers? If anything I think coping methods might be an option, but that's the best there is so far.
 
Thanks for the response. Well, one of the people that he has a strong aversion to, can't stand to be in the same room, is his little sister, who is occasionally a typically annoying and obnoxious little kid, but hasn't done anything traumatic. The other kids are in his school.... we suspected some sort of trauma, but he hasn't described anything like that, they exhibit bad behavior that he disapproves of, but assures us that this bad behavior is not directed toward him. Now the kids at school we can deal with, but his aversion to his little sister is, as you can imagine, just tortuous for him. He finds her presence so upsetting that it increases his anxiety and depression and he finds it intolerable to be at home when she is there, which, as you can imagine, is making for a very difficult home life for both of them. He is miserable at home, and she is puzzled. So we are hoping to help him overcome this aversion, so he can enjoy being part of our family again. We will work it out in therapy, but I'm interested if others have experience with this.

As for treatment, what I mean is therapy, I guess. Group therapy dynamics will be slightly different in this setting, where they are grouping together adolescents with Aspergers. I am probably getting the terminology all wrong, we are so new to this diagnosis, I am trying to educate myself as quickly as possible so I can help my son and our family understand all of this better.
 
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