More bad news (sorry)

[Tanyax]

So, I know many of you know me. I want to give you an update. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, they did. My boyfriend and I have broken up. It would appear he cannot take my breakdown. I have had to move back home. I can’t say I’m devastated about the loss of him, I didn’t love him as much as he claimed to love me. I know that sounds hard but it’s the truth. He always said he loved me enough for the both of us. I just really needed him to love and support me like he said he would. When I really, truly needed it, he bailed. As you know, I don’t have any support, only a whole lot of animosity. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this on my own. I mean, he bailed a while ago, couldn’t cope with me and this flood of emotions of late. People do that. It’s pretty scary really. It’s so emotionally raw that it scares people. All he had to do was hold me and tell me we’d get through it together. That I wasn’t alone but he couldn’t and now I am alone and I am broken. I am finding it hard not to hate him. I feel like it’s set me back 2 years and taken more from me than I had at that time which was pretty dire then. Anyway. That’s my update. Sorry I am so emotionally draining. I am embarrassed and humiliated that my life is at this point.

 

[TheFreeCat]

This is why I run very, very far away from relationships. Far and fast........

 

[Autistamatic]

I'm so sorry to hear that Tanya. You really are being run through the mill lately, aren't you?
Break ups are never easy, but if he can't give you support when you need it most he's not much good to you. When you say "back home" do you mean your parents? Are the girls still with you or have they gone to their Dad's?

 

[Adora]

Sometimes we find who true friends are when things are tough and this can be applied to romantic relationships too,it may not seem that way now but this could be a blessing in disguise because you found out that he isn’t the type to be supportive and while you are hurting now things will get better and you will heal and I believe that you will find someone who is much more understanding and caring than this guy,I have been hurt badly in the past by a guy and I also did believe that things wouldn’t get better but I was wrong so I hope the best for you and you deserve all the happiness this world can bring.

 

[Mattymatt]

I am sorry, @Tanyax. If I were your boyfriend I would've been there to hold you. You're honestly better off without him and know that things can and will get better. I love the old expression, "This too shall pass."

 

[BraidedPony]

If he had given you a hug and supportive words at the time, then you wouldn’t have the breakdown, maybe. So if he can’t handle it, it’s sort of his fault for not being there.
I believe that a simple hug and encouraging word at the right time can ward off a meltdown later.
How hard would it have been for him to be supportive? Not very, in my opinion.
Hang in there.

 

[Pats]

Back to your husband's house with him and your daughters?
I'm sorry you didn't get the support you needed. And you may feel broken, but you're not. You can still do this.
I agree with @BraidedPony as in it's not that hard to be supportive and if your boyfriend can't do the minimum, you wouldn't be able to trust him to do the maximum either. It's okay to feel hatred and anger toward him right now. He's thrown you to the wolves.

 

[TempeFan]

I'm going to have to agree with the crowd. Good riddance is not bad news. It's the only way to move past bad experiences to get to the good stuff. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes 50 years to find the right situation with supportive people but at least you know that wasn't it.

When you say "back home" do you mean your parents? Are the girls still with you or have they gone to their Dad's?

 

[SusanLR]

All he had to do was hold me and tell me we’d get through it together.

Oh, how I know this feeling.
I was having breakfast with my house partner a few days ago and was feeling pretty down.
Thinking about Holidays with my parents and a lot of good memories which made me feel very alone.
Just quiet and rather shutdown with a few tears and he asks why I'm so glum.
Didn't really want to talk about it as I knew he wouldn't care or understand, but, I said I was just
thinking about the Holidays and what they used to be like.
A caring, family time. I said I miss having anyone to just hug me and give a little love.

Of course he didn't understand.
His answer was he didn't need anyone to pat him on the head or say kind words.
He didn't need or care if anyone loved him or not.

Surely the whole world isn't this way, is it?
When I'm tired I want a soft comfortable bed and blanket to sleep and recoop.
When I'm feeling isolated and depressed I want someone to hold me and tell me I'm going to be O.K.
This is probably what you are feeling too?

 

[Tanyax]

To make things worse my youngest isn’t talking to me and my eldest says it’s my fault. I honestly feel sick. I really don’t know what to do. I feel disgusting. It’s just horrible.

 

[Moomin]

Not your fault @Tanyax . I feel your boyfriend couldn’t be supportive, that’s on him. Not you. If your daughters are behaving like this, let them run with their ideas until they burn out. Right now it’s probably as hurtful for them as it is for you.

Be kind to yourself.

 

[BraidedPony]

Your relationships with boyfriends are none of your children’s business. If they don’t like it or have opinions then that’s too bad.

You are a person who deserves to have relationships with who you want and when you want. You deserve to be respected by your children. Tell them if they don’t get their act together you will let my mother raise them, Ha!

Seriously though, you don’t have to be with a man if you don’t want too, even if he is Saint Michael himself come to earth. What’s it to them? Don’t they have some homework to do, or dishes or wash the car?

 

[Tanyax]

They loved him that’s all

 

[Autistamatic]

Whether they show it or not, they love you too. I know it's difficult to see that when their behaviour is so unpleasant, but they do.

 

[Moomin]

How are you doing today @Tanyax ?