Mother love

[Isla]

I'm a parent of a 23 year old son who has many AS traits. I have taken him everywhere from school counsellors to hypnotherapists over many years & tears trying to find a "cure" for his anxiety & social isolation. Most recently he was with a psychiatrist who prescribed medication, but it didnt make much difference & he has refused to continue with it.
I have been devouring literature on AS & would like to have him seek an assessment. However I know he will be very reluctant. What is the best approach? From everything I have read, diagnosis may be a relief & increase understanding of his situation. Most importantly I hope it will be a place to start improving his self esteem & happiness.

 

[ksheehan88]

Sadly, as your son is a grown man, unless he is willing to progress with an assessment off his own back, there is little you can do.

 

[toothless]

hi isla,welcome to AC!
you might get more answers if you post on the parents board here: Parenting & Autism Discussions

i am classic autistic,not aspie but i have similar issues to be fair, i can recommend reading up on mindfulness meditation.
i experience extreme anxiety which causes challenging behaviors,but mindfulness has saved a lot of damage.
i was taught by a psychologist but you can teach yourself over youtube,guided mindfulness meditation CDs/DVDs, and books,one of my support staff has a few mindfulness books and he has helped me to.

the basics of mindfulness meditation is-you focus your mind on a part of your body,starting at your feet for example,you think about the feelings or lack of feelings your experiencing,you move up a body part>think about the feelings>move up a part and so on,you do deep breathing and close your eyes if possible.
one of my favourite grounding techniques is to hold a favourite sensory toy or teddy and meditate around what the toy feels like.
its a very good form of self help for people on the spectrum,as it helps with anxiety,intrusive thoughts,OCD and so on.

another form of self help i personally use is CBD oil.
CBD is a legally allowed component of cannabis,it isnt pyschoactive so you cannot get high from it [hence why its legal] and it isnt the part that is contreversially blamed for mental illness,THC alternatively is the other main component of cannabis-this is illegal to use as its pyschoactive,it gets you high,its dependancy forming and it is what can cause problems for mentally vulnerable [ie,vulnerable to pyschosis or schizohphrenia] people.
CBD oil can be bought with nicotine and without.
the oil relaxes your anxiety,intrusive thoughts and also nerve damage if you have any of that like i have,ive heard people use it in baking [as you might do with cannabis] but i dont think it will help with acute anxiety like smoking,the smoke is in a vaporiser of your choice,this is my current vape and version of CBD oil:
smoking CBD like a pro
my pyschiatrist thinks its a good idea.

the other form of therapy i used to use [im to fat to use it now,16 stone] was horse riding therapy.
horse riding therapy is widely known to help with autism and many other neurological and mental conditions.
i have done it since i was 10 [33 now] and i got to special olympics level,it keeps you calm,reduces anxiety,makes you more interactive,lowers challenging behaviors etc i strongyl recommend it.

sorry id love to say more but im being rushed by a support staff as we have to leave my mothers house and go home.

 

[Keigan]

I'm not a parent so my words might seem out of place, but hey they are free....

Your son is obviously loved, being a parent is not an easy role.

Your son has to help himself by taking an interest in his own being, and in his future. Only he can make that decision, now your role is to empower and provide the opportunity for my to make those types of decisions. Again, not easy to do.

Welcome!

 

[janie]

I am a mother.

I honor your love and those things you have provided for your son through consultations and services.

Your son is 23.

His anxiety and social isolation likely have no "cure."

You do not need a formal diagnosis to benefit from the information about spectrum issues.

Unless he elects to be evaluated, I do not understand why it would be helpful or indicated.

Likewise, given his extensive history of assessments and interventions, another battery may as likely cause more anxiety or a conflict between you.

Do no harm is the primary adage of medicine and psychological services.

It is more than time for him to participate as a member of his treatment team. He is a legal adult; it's his season to captain.

 

[Warmheart]

There is hope.

I was diagnosed at 49, and am now very happy with who I am, and what I can do. I am not social, but my anxiety is VERY much better. Mindfulness/meditation, as Toothless mentions, can be very effective for anxiety which has an organic (neurological) origin. My life is so much better now.
I have found my tribe, and my strengths.

See if he will go for a neuropsychologist assessment for ASD.
Plan on it taking three hours.
The wait for results might be two weeks.
Once he has that formal diagnosis, and if you live in USA, he qualifies for adult autism support services through Department of Developmental Services.
He likely would begin to feel validated, understood, to understand himself.
He may have a brief but intense mourning period, coming to terms with autism, possibly (temporarily) feeling "broken," and facing his past as a lifetime of feeling invalidated in many environments, which nowadays have supports for autism. In time, he'll become more aware of his autism-related strengths. His identity can become more positive for him. He would in time be surrounded by those who appreciate the positives his autism brings.

it all starts with his openness to get formal neuropsych testing for ASD.

I hope he agrees. Being welcomed into a world that recognizes his strengths would likely feel validating and wonderful.
I'm pulling for him!

 

[Nick12]

my advice be loving and caring to him i wish you and your son a verry verry happy day