Moving To Different Part Of England While Autistic

[Robbie Sallos]

Hello! Hope you don't mind my first post being one asking for advice but I'm feeling a bit lost here. Here goes:

I live in a town on the East coast of England. It's terrible. It's both an epicentre of crime, and isolated with nothing to do. I'm in my mid-thirties and still there are people I've not been in school with since the age of seven who absolutely will act like hooligans if one sees 'em. Total arrested (literally in most cases) development. This place is a breeding ground for boredom, depression and anxiety. I've wanted to get out for years, but family/roots and personal massive lack of confidence and no lack of anxiety have stopped me.
Now, however, I feel like it's more feasible - especially since my sister moved too (to Somerset). The only thing is, I still have low confidence and no idea how to go about things - and I also have no savings. Nothing to do in this town basically means pub, and that's expensive. I'm just sick and tired of sitting doing nothing with my life, and of how my attention span and motivation have plummeted: if I didn't just spend hours on end blasting through SPiritfarer on the Xbox last week I'd be convinced I've got severe ADHD. I went from reading a novel a day easy to not being able to finish a paragraph. Probably partly my routine (or lack thereof). I hope. (it's taken over two weeks to post this after joining!)

Long story short, how would I go about doing this? I have my DWP payments (including housing benefit), which they always give the impression are hanging by a thread. Presumably they (especially the housing benefit) would go down/up depending on the regional standard? In addition, how do I get a flat? I'd prefer a council one for the stability it provides over private, but at the same time I don't want to be bundled into the less desirable areas of wherever I choose - I've had that here, and primarily bad, incredibly noisy neighbours left me on the verge of a breakdown.

I assume I would need savings, not just for actually moving but maybe to keep going 'til benefits etc get cleared. How much, on average?

I'd like to move to a city with a lot to do and see, or perhaps to a town a fifteen minute train journey from one, like Rugby (though I hear bad things about there too, haha, though honestly it would still be better than here because I'd know any crime wouldn't be personal). Or of course I could move to Somerset near my sister, though I don't want to be a burden on her.

Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.

 

[unperson]

Call the public housing folks and find out what the criteria is. Somewhere where there's work would be good. Yeah, you usually need money for bond, establishment costs etc.

 

[Aspychata]

Research, online, by phone. Jobs maybe very tough to come by but you still could try. Some people work cruiseships, some people do cleaning services, some people housesit. You could share a flat with a like-minded person, similar age and likes.

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome. My way of helping would be to say to you, if you can't get motivated enough to google your way through finding out the answers to this, you can't really do it. People on a forum can't give you the detailed answers to this, you need to research it and think it through. One brilliant source of information ought to be your sister, I would think, as she's just done it.

I feel that your self esteem and motivation need working on first, and suggest you get some motivational counselling locally. Tell them you're looking to improve your situation, and need help thinking it through. Why not think about how you could become independent of benefits too, you probably don't have to be locked into the situation where other people control your choices via hand outs. Tough love, sorry if it sounds harsh.

 

[Aspychata]

Think some people are at this forum with really limited resources, some countries have incrediblely difficult labor markets, UK comes to my mind. Also if people live in remote areas, this interfers with access to social services, jobs. This can bring a feeling of utter failure and no hope for those on the spectrum. Especially those that really become motivated to take control of their life.

 

[Gracey]

Crime isn't limited to one area in UK.
Where ever you move to, they'll be inconsiderate neighbours, arrests, police cars and bored young adults.

There are many new developments built that incorporate private house owners, private landlords and council or association housing (to rent) within the one estate or area.
You'll have to do your own homework on the area you'd like to move to.

If you have an advocate or social worker they may be able to advise you,
alternatively, the volunteers at The Citizens Advice may be able to look at your situation and give free advice on how best you could move forward.
- this may involve diagnosis and mental health records to support your claim for housing.

There's a crippling lack of affordable dwellings available to rent currently,
if you're single with no dependents you may be offered a room at the YMCA or a B&B?

As has already been advised previously, you'd have to do your own research for the area you'd like to move to.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Hello! Hope you don't mind my first post being one asking for advice but I'm feeling a bit lost here. Here goes:

I live in a town on the East coast of England. It's terrible. It's both an epicentre of crime, and isolated with nothing to do. I'm in my mid-thirties and still there are people I've not been in school with since the age of seven who absolutely will act like hooligans if one sees 'em. Total arrested (literally in most cases) development. This place is a breeding ground for boredom, depression and anxiety. I've wanted to get out for years, but family/roots and personal massive lack of confidence and no lack of anxiety have stopped me.
Now, however, I feel like it's more feasible - especially since my sister moved too (to Somerset). The only thing is, I still have low confidence and no idea how to go about things - and I also have no savings. Nothing to do in this town basically means pub, and that's expensive. I'm just sick and tired of sitting doing nothing with my life, and of how my attention span and motivation have plummeted: if I didn't just spend hours on end blasting through SPiritfarer on the Xbox last week I'd be convinced I've got severe ADHD. I went from reading a novel a day easy to not being able to finish a paragraph. Probably partly my routine (or lack thereof). I hope. (it's taken over two weeks to post this after joining!)

Long story short, how would I go about doing this? I have my DWP payments (including housing benefit), which they always give the impression are hanging by a thread. Presumably they (especially the housing benefit) would go down/up depending on the regional standard? In addition, how do I get a flat? I'd prefer a council one for the stability it provides over private, but at the same time I don't want to be bundled into the less desirable areas of wherever I choose - I've had that here, and primarily bad, incredibly noisy neighbours left me on the verge of a breakdown.

I assume I would need savings, not just for actually moving but maybe to keep going 'til benefits etc get cleared. How much, on average?

I'd like to move to a city with a lot to do and see, or perhaps to a town a fifteen minute train journey from one, like Rugby (though I hear bad things about there too, haha, though honestly it would still be better than here because I'd know any crime wouldn't be personal). Or of course I could move to Somerset near my sister, though I don't want to be a burden on her.

Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.

I lived on the east coast of England, well a few miles from the coast, north east.
I moved to the south, but I brought all my inner sh1t with me and now regret it.

I live in a beautiful place but my flat is ugly.
I did not see the beautiful countryside around me in my old place, it was only a bus ride away.
As for the people, they are the same everywhere, aggression drunkenness etc, crime, its everywhere, we attract the people that our inner feelings draw to us, e.g. if we feel negative, we attract dark people.
No matter where we go.
You could get noisy neighbours if you got social housing anywhere in the country.
You need to change your inner landscape rather than your outer landscape as that doesn't work, I am living proof.
Read good quality novels, better than x box, think of the nice places around you, take a bus/train and have a day out and be in nature. Walk along the beach when its safe from chavs.
I had warning dreams not to move away but my impulsive nature got in the way and I moved and regret it.

 

[clg114]

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