Oh crap, I got to thinking that it would appear, I only have a finite amount of time to dedicate to each person I become friends with in real life?
How did I arrive at this conclusion you ask, well I?ll tell you, I am a good salesman by all accounts, I get a customer in and chat to them about the products, they buy something (or not) and out they go, mostly happy, simple and quick and on to the next customer. What it actually boils down to is that I have made a conveyer belt of interest for myself, each time somebody comes in they are a new experience, I potentially get to talk for ages about all the products and I have no chance to get bored of the customer as they leave soon enough.
I didn?t realise before but this scenario is probably quite ideal for any Aspergical persons.
So recently I was watching that reality show that almost every country has a version of; ?Big Brother?, most people consider it vacuous or vapid but if you think about it, it puts a wide array of regular humans in close confined proximity with each other for an intense and emotional time period ranging from two weeks to three months, which therefore can theoretically be classed as an ideal teaching aid for Aspergers in the sense that, where else can you legitimately study that much interaction, emotion, physical response and facial expressions all at once?
Well anyhow, one of the contestants was rabbiting on about how any relationship ?in the house?, is going to be more intense because there is constant attention to it, you cannot really get away from any one person, therefore you essentially have what should be a very long time together, in the short space of a few months and that was when the penny dropped?
I have been doing just that in daily life.
Whenever I have any sort of relationship that lasts more than say, five minutes, I tend to become all involved, I want to see that person all the time, I want to do things and go places, eat with them and all the other stuff you do with friends. That?s where the difficulty begins because once I venture out of my comfort zone enough to get to know people; sometimes my personality is labelled by some of them as ?intense?.
Most regular folk have a plethora of friends, an Aspie on the other hand has very few and can often be considered ?too much? even by those people.
So some people, after repeated meetings, like my way of dealing with the world and as I say, that?s where the difficulty begins, because those people have been putting up with me and as such, I have had as much time with them as they have had with me only now the shine has worn off for me.
You see, they no longer interest me as intensely, by which I mean that this could take months or it could be just weeks or even only a couple days depending on how focused the interaction has been, but I find myself reaching the low point where they have nothing left to offer, except now knowing I am a good listener, they start to drone on at every meeting about all their problems and woes and strife, it?s like suddenly all their joy is gone and they can?t muster up the strength to be happy when they associate with me and so we just end up mutually complaining about everything.
While I understand that people when they get comfortable with somebody else will drop their defences and reveal less guarded behaviours, I kinda like when people are on their best behaviour instead of airing out their every fancy and foible just for the sake of it, whatever has happened to old fashioned mystique and secrecy I wonder.
I just wish I could have interactions with people that were more fulfilling instead of a reminder about how secretly bitter and resentful they actually are all the time, everyday there is something special going on in even the most mundane of lives and yet how often are we privy to those little joys and excitements, more often it?s like a litany of depressive realities trotted out so you can be as miserable as they are, like you don?t have a right to be at all cheery for no specific reason. I tend to think people are too close and yet never more far away from each other now, whereas in days gone by you had to travel to be close and so you only enjoyed yourself in company, in the old days even wakes were a time to catch up and have a natter about this that and the other.
Bah, if I don?t close this post I am no better than the people that made me want to post this in the first place, oh, and my catchcry of ?Bah??
The titular Scrooge used that to preface the inane notion of pretty much everything non-profitable to him which of course included Christmas, and then he would finish with the descriptor of ?humbug?, which added to the supposition of the nonsensical nature of the subject in question. I haven?t quite reached the point of ?humbugging? my own ?Bah? as yet, but I imagine it will only be a matter of time.
Mmmm, should I start working on the hunched back and miserly expression now?
Oh, I guess I will let you decipher your own question to answer in regards to this lot, or just let me know if you lose interest in people as well ; ]
How did I arrive at this conclusion you ask, well I?ll tell you, I am a good salesman by all accounts, I get a customer in and chat to them about the products, they buy something (or not) and out they go, mostly happy, simple and quick and on to the next customer. What it actually boils down to is that I have made a conveyer belt of interest for myself, each time somebody comes in they are a new experience, I potentially get to talk for ages about all the products and I have no chance to get bored of the customer as they leave soon enough.
I didn?t realise before but this scenario is probably quite ideal for any Aspergical persons.
So recently I was watching that reality show that almost every country has a version of; ?Big Brother?, most people consider it vacuous or vapid but if you think about it, it puts a wide array of regular humans in close confined proximity with each other for an intense and emotional time period ranging from two weeks to three months, which therefore can theoretically be classed as an ideal teaching aid for Aspergers in the sense that, where else can you legitimately study that much interaction, emotion, physical response and facial expressions all at once?
Well anyhow, one of the contestants was rabbiting on about how any relationship ?in the house?, is going to be more intense because there is constant attention to it, you cannot really get away from any one person, therefore you essentially have what should be a very long time together, in the short space of a few months and that was when the penny dropped?
I have been doing just that in daily life.
Whenever I have any sort of relationship that lasts more than say, five minutes, I tend to become all involved, I want to see that person all the time, I want to do things and go places, eat with them and all the other stuff you do with friends. That?s where the difficulty begins because once I venture out of my comfort zone enough to get to know people; sometimes my personality is labelled by some of them as ?intense?.
Most regular folk have a plethora of friends, an Aspie on the other hand has very few and can often be considered ?too much? even by those people.
So some people, after repeated meetings, like my way of dealing with the world and as I say, that?s where the difficulty begins, because those people have been putting up with me and as such, I have had as much time with them as they have had with me only now the shine has worn off for me.
You see, they no longer interest me as intensely, by which I mean that this could take months or it could be just weeks or even only a couple days depending on how focused the interaction has been, but I find myself reaching the low point where they have nothing left to offer, except now knowing I am a good listener, they start to drone on at every meeting about all their problems and woes and strife, it?s like suddenly all their joy is gone and they can?t muster up the strength to be happy when they associate with me and so we just end up mutually complaining about everything.
While I understand that people when they get comfortable with somebody else will drop their defences and reveal less guarded behaviours, I kinda like when people are on their best behaviour instead of airing out their every fancy and foible just for the sake of it, whatever has happened to old fashioned mystique and secrecy I wonder.
I just wish I could have interactions with people that were more fulfilling instead of a reminder about how secretly bitter and resentful they actually are all the time, everyday there is something special going on in even the most mundane of lives and yet how often are we privy to those little joys and excitements, more often it?s like a litany of depressive realities trotted out so you can be as miserable as they are, like you don?t have a right to be at all cheery for no specific reason. I tend to think people are too close and yet never more far away from each other now, whereas in days gone by you had to travel to be close and so you only enjoyed yourself in company, in the old days even wakes were a time to catch up and have a natter about this that and the other.
Bah, if I don?t close this post I am no better than the people that made me want to post this in the first place, oh, and my catchcry of ?Bah??
The titular Scrooge used that to preface the inane notion of pretty much everything non-profitable to him which of course included Christmas, and then he would finish with the descriptor of ?humbug?, which added to the supposition of the nonsensical nature of the subject in question. I haven?t quite reached the point of ?humbugging? my own ?Bah? as yet, but I imagine it will only be a matter of time.
Mmmm, should I start working on the hunched back and miserly expression now?
Oh, I guess I will let you decipher your own question to answer in regards to this lot, or just let me know if you lose interest in people as well ; ]
