My head is full of horrible ideas right now.

[Metalhead]

Ideas such as - Beer and bourbon are friends who will never abandon me in my darkest hours.

My friends are all avoiding me.

People would be happy if I fell asleep and never woke up again.

I bother other people. That is what I do best.

What the hell is wrong with my voice?

I deserve to wither away and be forgotten.

My writing means nothing if I am a crap human being.

———

Yes, these are all very unhelpful thoughts. I know they are wrong on the most intellectual of levels. Even if they are tearing my soul apart otherwise.

 

[Athyrium]

Want to share some of your writing instead? As a distraction? What do you like to write?

 

[Metalhead]

https://www.autismforums.com/thread...some-of-my-film-reviews-in-this-thread.39546/

 

[Athyrium]

Reading through it now. Do you like foreign movies? My wife just got me to watch Zatoichi and the Chest of Gold (it's on youtube) and I really enjoyed it.

 

[Metalhead]

Reading through it now. Do you like foreign movies? My wife just got me to watch Zatoichi and the Chest of Gold (it's on youtube) and I really enjoyed it.

I do watch a lot of foreign films.

 

[Athyrium]

I do watch a lot of foreign films.

Well I recommend that one if you need a distraction, I really liked the cinematography, sets and costumes

Your reviews are very well written, thank you for sharing, I'm still reading through them.

 

[DaisyRose]

I’m sorry you’re not in a good place right now. I wanted to let you know that you are not alone and that you are always surrounded by kind and caring people on this forum who love and support you. Dark times can be rough and I hope they pass soon, so you can go back to better times.

 

[Knower of nothing]

A little exercise you can do, once you are already aware you're having unproductive thoughts, is to add the prefix "I feel like" in front of them. It robs the statements of their proclamation of fact. Now you are just expressing your pain.

 

[Aspychata]

You got that pity party running in your brain. I think l was at the same party, but it's a sucky wormhole, don't fall in it. Don't be tricked, the cover charge ain't worth the party.

 

[Metalhead]

You got that pity party running in your brain. I think l was at the same party, but it's a sucky wormhole, don't fall in it. Don't be tricked, the cover charge ain't worth the party.

Yeah, now my brain is telling me I wished I had a reason to get out of bed that did not involve going to my job. This is a sucky wormhole.

 

[Aspychata]

Oh, it's your job. That's it. That's tough. Hope some better sleep will help you see possibilities, however the job market is sucky right now too.

 

[Metalhead]

Oh, it's your job. That's it. That's tough. Hope some better sleep will help you see possibilities, however the job market is sucky right now too.

It is more than just my job. I need to find some local friends who are single men. Not because I am looking for romance, but because single men are more likely to chill with me on weekends instead of spending quality time with the wives. All of my local friends are married men who have wives. I need to get out more.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Ideas such as - Beer and bourbon are friends who will never abandon me in my darkest hours.

My friends are all avoiding me.

People would be happy if I fell asleep and never woke up again.

I bother other people. That is what I do best.

What the hell is wrong with my voice?

I deserve to wither away and be forgotten.

My writing means nothing if I am a crap human being.

———

Yes, these are all very unhelpful thoughts. I know they are wrong on the most intellectual of levels. Even if they are tearing my soul apart otherwise.

Not true.
This is so wrong.
You are a wonderful person doing a wonderful job.
I hope you know those things are lies, you are doing wonderful but these are the lies people tell themselves each day.
But it is not true.
Beer and bourbon are your enemies
People do love you always even if they do not say it.
You are a good human who is doing your best

This is a very good reminder that if you do love someone, check in with them to see if they are ok and tell them that you love them at times too. Because it is very easy to feel forgotten

 

[Misery]

Ideas such as - Beer and bourbon are friends who will never abandon me in my darkest hours.

Maybe this is part of it? Like... a last remnant of an addiction that you soundly defeated, trying one last trick... a sort of siren call... to pull you back in. While of course also telling you the negative things to add to it.

Dont listen to it. You did spectacularly to beat that addiction, and I hope you dont forget how impressive it is that you did so.

I hope you can feel better soon. Is there anything you can do to take your mind off of it, put your focus onto something else?

 

[Metalhead]

Maybe this is part of it? Like... a last remnant of an addiction that you soundly defeated, trying one last trick... a sort of siren call... to pull you back in. While of course also telling you the negative things to add to it.

Dont listen to it. You did spectacularly to beat that addiction, and I hope you dont forget how impressive it is that you did so.

I hope you can feel better soon. Is there anything you can do to take your mind off of it, put your focus onto something else?

You are onto something there. It has been a very long while since my last drink, but yesterday I could practically taste the beer going down my throat - even when I did not break my sobriety, it was all a mental thing.

This is going to take more time to completely defeat at this rate. The cravings are still there.

 

[Kalinychta]

Ideas such as - Beer and bourbon are friends who will never abandon me in my darkest hours.

My friends are all avoiding me.

People would be happy if I fell asleep and never woke up again.

I bother other people. That is what I do best.

What the hell is wrong with my voice?

I deserve to wither away and be forgotten.

My writing means nothing if I am a crap human being.

———

Yes, these are all very unhelpful thoughts. I know they are wrong on the most intellectual of levels. Even if they are tearing my soul apart otherwise.

Lots of “I,” “me,” and “my” words in this. You’re stuck in your own head. In my experience, the only way to end a self-pity bender is to focus your attention on something worthwhile and/or soothing.