My possessions own me.

[Metalhead]

I live in my tiny castle surrounded with movies, video games and music. I have accumulated a ton of media throughout my life, hoping to turn my man cave into a media paradise.

But sitting here alone surrounded by all this media is depressing. I cannot live off media alone. There is no social connection there.

I feel like the compulsion to keep adding to these collections is an act of futility.

I need more of a social life, not more objects.

 

[Aspychata]

Maybe you have evolved, gotten rid of toxic energy, maybe u are seeking more fulfillment in your life?

 

[Lysholm]

Why don't you start that YouTube movie critic channel? Stuff is only as fulfilling as the experiences you have with said stuff.

 

[Lysholm]

@Metalhead Don't just click the agree button and step away. That's what you did the other times I've mentioned this. I'm calling you out, bre. I expect a post and link on your first video in like a couple days. Or something.

*whip crack*

 

[Metalhead]

Why don't you start that YouTube movie critic channel? Stuff is only as fulfilling as the experiences you have with said stuff.

With my sleep apnea, my attention span has went basically to Hell. Of course, that is temporary and I am certain the doctors will have the answers I need.

 

[Lysholm]

With my sleep apnea, my attention span has went basically to Hell. Of course, that is temporary and I am certain the doctors will have the answers I need.

You know what's not temporary? Excuses.

Don't make me start a YouTube channel called "calling out the metal dude on the autism forum" where I critique all the movie reviews you haven't made.

(That's like 1/2 sarcasm - sounds kinda fun)

 

[Prometheus]

Isn't that always the case though?, The objects we possess, end up possessing us. The nature of desire. We are insatiable beings. Maybe that social connection you desire, will just turn out to be another distraction. But I think it's good to move away from consumerism.

 

[Lysholm]

@Metalhead I'm trying to be encouraging, not a d*ck. Most people can't tell the difference, though. So I'm hoping you see my responses as feisty instead of pressuring. I don't really care if you do your critiques or not, but you show lots of interest and potential in it. Would be a good outlet, methinks, and a good justification for owning all that stuff.

 

[Aspychata]

@Metalhead , he has been at this site for awhile, and he has really impressed me. He left a very toxic family situation, and a lot of us would have never gotten out that door. He has changed his entire thought process, whatever he does here on out, can't be as tough as what he went thru with zombie family that eats their children. I believe he can do what he sets out to do.

 

[Au Naturel]

'"My possessions own me."

That's a fundamental principle of many schools of philosophy. Economists count on it. Enterprises profit from it.

 

[Crossbreed]

I feel like the compulsion to keep adding to these collections is an act of futility.

You are back at that unsettling God-shaped hole thing again.

I cannot live off media alone.

That sounds a lot like Jesus in Matthew 4:4...

 

[Mr. Stevens]

The good thing, is you're already doing better than you were, Metalhead. I relate to your position, though. Before COVID, I wanted to start donating things, but kept putting it off. I moved in with my (then) fiancé, things became horrible, and I moved out. Having to move twice within a summer finally got me to get rid of stuff.

I've sold or donated a lot, and it's been good. I miss some stuff, but I think that's more the memories I have with it that make me emotional. Ultimately, I'm happier to shop less, and have less. It's easy to be in a habit of routine shopping, wanting that next fix, but I can easily go months without buying anything for myself. So whatever change you make, you can get used to less.

Maybe having less will inspire you to do more reviews of movies you already love.

 

[Shamar]

I live in my tiny castle surrounded with movies, video games and music. I have accumulated a ton of media throughout my life, hoping to turn my man cave into a media paradise.

But sitting here alone surrounded by all this media is depressing. I cannot live off media alone. There is no social connection there.

I feel like the compulsion to keep adding to these collections is an act of futility.

I need more of a social life, not more objects.

I have watched you beat drugs. I have watched you beat alcohol. I have watched you get away from a family intent on consuming you. You still have your problems, but as you conquered each one. you grew stronger (whether you realize it or not). This sounds to me like another addiction. You seem to be acquiring for the sake of acqng. Don't stop acquiring, but be selective about it. Cull out all the media you don't watch, play, or listen to, and put them in a box and store it in a closet. It will be there if you really want it. The volume will be less, and you will get some control. Good luck. And get going on the web site or You Tube channel. A lot of us here are looking foeward to seeing it.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Sell them all on Ebay or Amazon. Make bank.

 

[Misery]

I kinda wanna second something that @Shamar said.

When buying something, be selective about it and dont buy JUST to buy. Are you going to really USE the whatever-it-is? Or is it just gonna collect dust? And how about just revisiting the things you already have?

But here's the other thing: when you buy something... or, when thinking about the things you already have... you dont need to JUST have them. You can do more with them.

Buying movies? Tell people about them! Do what you've said many times that you wanted to do, and write up those reviews! When you do that, you're not just buying a given movie. You're taking it and making something more, and that extra something could bring more enjoyment to others. Maybe someone really likes movies but just has very little to spend, so on the rare occasion they want to buy one, they hope it ends up being special. Your reviews could be what gives that person a special experience. Or it can get people talking about the subject, and making connections during the process. It's the same with games or, I dunno, even things like art supplies, but movies seems to be your real passion here. So I say, go for it. Sit the heck down and start on it.

And if you're done with a particular thing, like some game that's only really worth one playthrough and you already did it, or whatever, go on and donate it. Someone could get a lot of value out of something that you've already finished with.

And all of this can bring you more social connections, too. I do game reviews myself, primarily on Steam. I've met people that way, more than a few times. Made connections, met people who I've kept up with since then. Of course the big difference with me is that I dont like dealing with people in person, so I dont do in person meetings. But for you? What you do could end up helping you meet other movie lovers in your area. Wouldnt that be nice?

Come on, dont just sit around telling yourself that your lifestyle is bad or that you're doing things wrong or something. DO something instead. I think you know by now that action, not brooding, is what makes things better and gets good stuff going.

It's a lesson I had to learn the hard way myself. So I know it's tough. But you can do it.

 

[Forest Cat]

I think you can have both. You can do your best to be more social, get out more and at the same time have a well-stocked media collection in your man cave. We actually have a saying for that here, that's connected to choosing between two things: "I'll take both please". It's called "The Winnie the Pooh attitude". Winnie would never choose between two pots of honey, he would take both. Winnie is a wise bear.

 

[The Pandector]

A word for collectors. My wife loved containers. Specifically, small metal ones or wicker baskets. I still unpack my crackers and put the sealed packets into her metal cracker boxes - painted replicas of the cardboard boxes I toss. One for Ritz, one for saltines.

One basket up on the shelf in the living room had the emergency lighting stuff, little flashlights and matches. Her containers were practical, but not all had permanent assignments. One might serve for years, only to be returned to the carefully protected stack of reserves.

She didn’t buy for a purpose; if she liked a wicker pattern, she might buy it. In that sense, she could be acquisitive. But she was never voracious. She must have given a few to friends, left me with her stack. I haven’t the heart to use them like she did.

Acquisitiveness is a natural trap. We get something to fill a need and do feel better. Creatures of habit, when we want to feel better we go get something. But, if it doesn’t actually fulfill a need, it fails to make us feel better. Rats, let’s try again. And again.

How angry was Henry’s wife? He’ll know when the credit card statement arrives.

 

[The Pandector]

I think you can have both. You can do your best to be more social, get out more and at the same time have a well-stocked media collection in your man cave. We actually have a saying for that here, that's connected to choosing between two things: "I'll take both please". It's called "The Winnie the Pooh attitude". Winnie would never choose between two pots of honey, he would take both. Winnie is a wise bear.

So true. Elton John’s song Roy Rodgers is entirely germane to this thread, a man who’s paid off the carpet and has his television (60’s, remember), wife and kids. But he has to choose between ham and cheese, in fact has to settle for cheese. Yes, he had the possessions; but when the world went quiet he needed something more. He’s in luck, because (as the music swells) Roy Rodgers is riding tonight; let’s go shoot a hole in the moon.

I believe the last song Janis Joplin ever recorded, she introduced with the spoken comment that it had great social importance.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz; a color tv; a night on the town.

 

[Gerontius]

I confess to being a hoarder myself.

A lot of times "collecting" is "hoarding that doesn't seem to be terribly inconvenient." Unfortunately it's easy for collecting to get out of hand and become hoarding in earnest.
Sure, you might own two thousand records, and they not own you, then someone else is completely the slave of one or two old secondhand cars that happen to be made in a favorable year or style for the car people out there.
I know I like collecting stuff, but when it gets completely out of hand, or even a little out of hand, that's too much. In a thrift shop today I saw an old Kodak 8mm projector, thought "wouldn't mind fixing that up," then remembered I already rebuilt about a 1948 Revere that I haven't run any footage through. Hell there's even an original Kodak Brownie sitting around here from 1922 or '24 that I haven't taken a snap shot with.

The wind up phonograph habit was worse. Ordinarily you can get away with one player for different formats. Actually, I could theoretically cut my collection down to 2 or 3 machines, if I had the right aftermarket attachments, but I'm pretty happy with having a few old record players as now I no longer am wanting to acquire more. I'm getting rid of two of the old horn-style machines, a Columbia graphophone and a Standard Talking Machine--that's a significant chunk of the clutter (and a lot less dusting.) Do I still want to buy more phonographs? Yes. Every time I go to a swap-meet. Do I need any? No, because there's a 1917 Victrola and a 1907 Edison that need major help, and I'm not fixing anything until I get those running.

But for awhile there I bought almost everything I could get a hold of mostly because it seemed like buying things was less emotionally complicated than not buying things. Hoarding and cluttering things up is like that.

I guess we all end up there at one point or other.

 

[Lysholm]

for awhile there I bought almost everything I could get a hold of mostly because it seemed like buying things was less emotionally complicated than not buying things.

I'm usually frugal to a fault. However, I had to confront that over-analyzing a purchase can be a huge opportunity-cost. Sometimes it's cheaper to buy something just to stop thinking about it. I can find more profitable use of my time than wasting hours contemplating a silly purchase. Every hour I'm stuck on it is making said item more and more expensive.