And she kind of agree but for her getting a diagnosis is about getting social classes to learn how to interact socially.
I'm not sure I understand this. Is she saying there's a social skills class that requires an autism diagnosis for admission? Because if she is, this is an example of a service you can get if you are officially diagnosed and registered with your state's Department of Developmental Services or equivalent.
If you need such services, what's the harm in getting a diagnosis?
Of course, there are other social skills classes, voc rehab, occupational therapy etc that do not require an autism diagnosis, but these will be hit or miss for you because they are not designed with the autism spectrum in mind.
And she's not really convinced that i have ASD because i actively search for a diagnosis and that i dont really want to fit in (on her perspective).
No way.
Both to the diagnosis shopping and to "not wanting to fit in".
Nothing wrong with pursuing a diagnosis if you think it fits. It may help to put a label on this, to ease your mind or to receive services or both. The worst they can (or should?) do is say you aren't on the spectrum after honestly evaluating you.
As for not wanting to fit in, maybe there is just very little incentive for someone on the spectrum to want to fit in. Too much work for too little payoff. I would have to bend over backwards trying to get along with people I can't relate to and don't like, only to find out that they can't relate to me and don't like me either. Not only does trying to insinuate myself into a social group sound like a bad idea, it's one that doesn't occur to me because of they way I'm wired. Instead, I'll find something I enjoy doing, and if I meet others who enjoy that activity and I bond with them, cool. If not, I'm still having fun.
The other way around just makes no sense to me.
There's also how one interprets "fitting in". If you mean being part of the in crowd, then eff that ess, you don't even need to be on the spectrum to see how that's no fun. There are I don't know how many subcultures out there who all look like they're having more fun than the "popular kids". Of course, if you interpret "fitting in" as fitting in with any group, I don't know why anyone would actively avoid being accepted by any group.
And the fact that im not really hard working at school is another thing for her.
lolwut?
Being hardworking at school is in part due to executive functioning and in part due to belief in social thinking. It takes a fair amount of executive functioning to set up good study habits and follow them well, and to do everything in a neat and orderly fashion. Social thinking also plays a part, because you're doing all this work to compete against others and to get ahead, not simply because you genuinely enjoy what you're doing. I just don't have that kind of competitive spirit.
I would speculate many autistic people aren't
hardworking at school for these reasons, even though many of us do well regardless of a poor work ethic, and some of us have a passion for school that allows us to develop a strong work ethic.
You mention she believes someone with Autism should be "hardworking" at school; that has no bearing in reality. -- Some people with Autism may love school, while others will not. -- I personally rarely tried in school into recent years because it bored me, I did not care for what it taught.. (I only cared about what I was interested in, and still do, and partly because School rarely taught anything I didn't learn on my own).
I wasn't very hardworking, for the reasons I mentioned above. I had a horrible work ethic. I wouldn't put any effort into anything unless I enjoyed it, and I had no study skills to speak of because of executive functioning issues. Focus on neatness over substance in the early grades really made me hate and distrust formal education.
That being said, I did well in school because I had a natural aptitude for it and because my college coursework was more interesting to me, although I did not do nearly as well as I could have done. If I had better executive functioning and a more competitive spirit, I would have absolutely crushed it in school like it was nothing.
I dont really understand even when i wanted to say that accordingly of my research ASD is not only about social interaction, she raised her voice like she was pissed at me.
Yes, this is true. It is a processing disorder. One of the more common ways it manifests is in trouble with social interaction, although I have met quite a few autistics who do not struggle socially at all. There are sensory issues, information processing issues, emotional differences, cognitive differences, and many other factors.
Is this what she meant when she said an ASD diagnosis was just for social skills classes?
If this is the case, she really needs to learn more about the autism spectrum, although she probably won't.