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my psychologist

AllenKuro

New Member
So ive written a thread about getting diagnosed. And the problem was that my therapist has preassumptions about autism. So ive seen her and explain to her why thought i would be autistic. And she kind of agree but for her getting a diagnosis is about getting social classes to learn how to interact socially. And she's not really convinced that i have ASD because i actively search for a diagnosis and that i dont really want to fit in (on her perspective). And the fact that im not really hard working at school is another thing for her. I dont really understand even when i wanted to say that accordingly of my research ASD is not only about social interaction, she raised her voice like she was pissed at me. And now i dont if i want to keep seeing her but at the same time im obligated to see a therapist because i have mental health issues and looking out for another one kind of scare me.
 
You seem to be onto her for her lack of expertise. Patients have to be their own advocate if they feel they are not getting the proper treatment. Switching to a different therapist would not be a sin, especially if you think she doesn't believe what you are telling her. Therapy and mental health counseling require trust and respect on the side of each party involved. I've never understood how a therapist can understand a condition they have never experienced first-hand. If she is helpful with the other issues you are facing, you might ignore her attitude about Autism and take the opportunity of more sessions to educate her. In the meantime, leisurely investigate an alternative therapist in the event that this relationship falls apart. People with ASD like to be accommodating to authority figures. You don't seem to have a deadline to secure an alternative, but you may not be truly comfortable with the therapist you currently have. See how it goes.
 
I would recommend seeking a more knowledgeable psychologist if she does not fit your required needs. -- A Psychologist should be knowledgeable about what is suspected by the patient in order to ensure proper care, if she refuses to properly learn about a condition and raises her voice when you contradict her (as you stated) than I wouldn't consider her "fit" to be a psychologist.

You mention she believes someone with Autism should be "hardworking" at school; that has no bearing in reality. -- Some people with Autism may love school, while others will not. -- I personally rarely tried in school into recent years because it bored me, I did not care for what it taught.. (I only cared about what I was interested in, and still do, and partly because School rarely taught anything I didn't learn on my own).
 
It's still really rare to find someone that fully appreciates the degree to which autism is a spectrum and can manifest in countless ways. Unfortunately, this seems to also be the case even for psychologists, although you'd expect them to know better. Many people don't exhibit all of the classic symptoms and might seem normal at first glance, it takes someone who is specifically very experienced with ASD to be a good judge. I don't know if your psychologist has much experience with ASD specifically, if not, I'd say look for someone who does.
 
There are those in the field that specialize in ASD; I would google to find one in your area if possible. If I went to my doctor and said I suspect I have diabetes, for example, and listed the symptoms I am presenting and if he/she raised their voice at me and acted pissed I would be out the door so fast they would have thought they just imagined me there. Seriously though, if she doesn't agree with you the least she could have done was respectfully list reasons why she disagrees along with hearing you out.
 
I have been seeing a psychiatrist and my next appointment is next month and I am going to tell him that I do not wish to keep seeing him.

Aspergers has never been discussed, despite the enormous evidence from my husband, accept when I was prescribed tablets that calms irritability in autism down, but in fact, he NOT once has asked me about it.

I did not go to get an official diagnosis, because of not being able to deal with the negative aspect of it, but I got a diagnosis of social phobia; anxiety and ptsd.

Lol he said that I must keep seeing him and that I need to be medicated for a very long time, but in fact, that is all he is good at! Giving out medicine!

When we are insecure anyway, it is hard going having to battle "professionals" and thus, I do not.
 
i have talked with a friend who also have ASD and he saw the same psychologist. I wanted to know hpw he was treated by her but he didnt have any issues and because he has OCD and seems having a more "severe" ASD and that for him i didnt seem to have any real struggle, now he's pissed at me and he doesnt think i have ASD. I dont know what to do im realy bad right now :disrelieved::disrelieved:
 
Are you living in England? In England there are support services provided by local authorities, and you may be able to get help from them with getting a good counsellor.
 
What is it you want?

a) to get formally diagnosed
b) for her to believe you, for reassurance or validation
c) tips on how to cope with ASD
d) to have a random argument with an NT therapist

?
 
Cool, all are valid.

So simply focus on how to get them.

a) few NT therapists really understand the ASD brain. Some do. Some NTs on this site understand it better than the younger aspies. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from a situation to be objective. But the majority of therapists will have read a text book definition and are marking off symptoms.

That's not bad, remember these people have made an actual career out of helping other people!

So you need to understand and work the system. So figure out what their image of ASD is. And be it. No more no less.

c) as above, there are few therapists that understand the ASD brain. However, they understand humans, better than us. So be realistic about what you can learn from them and stop expecting them to be all knowing and solve your problems.

For the majority of ASD problems I suggest reaching out to other aspies. Here and in real life. Join clubs with people who have similar interests and ask specific questions.


So as always, think about what you want and stop chasing your tail and go get it.
 
And she kind of agree but for her getting a diagnosis is about getting social classes to learn how to interact socially.

I'm not sure I understand this. Is she saying there's a social skills class that requires an autism diagnosis for admission? Because if she is, this is an example of a service you can get if you are officially diagnosed and registered with your state's Department of Developmental Services or equivalent.

If you need such services, what's the harm in getting a diagnosis?

Of course, there are other social skills classes, voc rehab, occupational therapy etc that do not require an autism diagnosis, but these will be hit or miss for you because they are not designed with the autism spectrum in mind.

And she's not really convinced that i have ASD because i actively search for a diagnosis and that i dont really want to fit in (on her perspective).

No way.

Both to the diagnosis shopping and to "not wanting to fit in".

Nothing wrong with pursuing a diagnosis if you think it fits. It may help to put a label on this, to ease your mind or to receive services or both. The worst they can (or should?) do is say you aren't on the spectrum after honestly evaluating you.

As for not wanting to fit in, maybe there is just very little incentive for someone on the spectrum to want to fit in. Too much work for too little payoff. I would have to bend over backwards trying to get along with people I can't relate to and don't like, only to find out that they can't relate to me and don't like me either. Not only does trying to insinuate myself into a social group sound like a bad idea, it's one that doesn't occur to me because of they way I'm wired. Instead, I'll find something I enjoy doing, and if I meet others who enjoy that activity and I bond with them, cool. If not, I'm still having fun. The other way around just makes no sense to me.

There's also how one interprets "fitting in". If you mean being part of the in crowd, then eff that ess, you don't even need to be on the spectrum to see how that's no fun. There are I don't know how many subcultures out there who all look like they're having more fun than the "popular kids". Of course, if you interpret "fitting in" as fitting in with any group, I don't know why anyone would actively avoid being accepted by any group.

And the fact that im not really hard working at school is another thing for her.

lolwut?

Being hardworking at school is in part due to executive functioning and in part due to belief in social thinking. It takes a fair amount of executive functioning to set up good study habits and follow them well, and to do everything in a neat and orderly fashion. Social thinking also plays a part, because you're doing all this work to compete against others and to get ahead, not simply because you genuinely enjoy what you're doing. I just don't have that kind of competitive spirit.

I would speculate many autistic people aren't hardworking at school for these reasons, even though many of us do well regardless of a poor work ethic, and some of us have a passion for school that allows us to develop a strong work ethic.

You mention she believes someone with Autism should be "hardworking" at school; that has no bearing in reality. -- Some people with Autism may love school, while others will not. -- I personally rarely tried in school into recent years because it bored me, I did not care for what it taught.. (I only cared about what I was interested in, and still do, and partly because School rarely taught anything I didn't learn on my own).

I wasn't very hardworking, for the reasons I mentioned above. I had a horrible work ethic. I wouldn't put any effort into anything unless I enjoyed it, and I had no study skills to speak of because of executive functioning issues. Focus on neatness over substance in the early grades really made me hate and distrust formal education.

That being said, I did well in school because I had a natural aptitude for it and because my college coursework was more interesting to me, although I did not do nearly as well as I could have done. If I had better executive functioning and a more competitive spirit, I would have absolutely crushed it in school like it was nothing.

I dont really understand even when i wanted to say that accordingly of my research ASD is not only about social interaction, she raised her voice like she was pissed at me.

Yes, this is true. It is a processing disorder. One of the more common ways it manifests is in trouble with social interaction, although I have met quite a few autistics who do not struggle socially at all. There are sensory issues, information processing issues, emotional differences, cognitive differences, and many other factors.

Is this what she meant when she said an ASD diagnosis was just for social skills classes?

If this is the case, she really needs to learn more about the autism spectrum, although she probably won't.
 

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