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My sister is 30 and has Aspergers. Please help me cope.

A

Alex.xxoo

New Member
hi guys idk what I’m doing here but i am desperate( desperate enough to make an account on this website and ask for help). I am 23 and have a sister who is 30 years old. My sister is an Aspie and cannot function independently. Just to clear things before getting any negativity on this post... i am trying to state the facts of our situation as bluntly as possible. From the time she wakes up until evening she asks the same questions over and over again. Usually to my mom who is her caretaker and very exhausted of being her caretaker for 30 years. My sister also will cry, whine and have tantrums all day sporadically (especially when she doesn’t get her way). My sister has obsessions with phones, computers and communicating through those devices. The only problem is that we cannot let her use those devices because she ends up talking to strangers and sometimes has gotten into terrible situations by meeting creeps online or in dating sites. I recently moved home to help my mom out because it’s a lot and my mom is sick but the problem is i am 9 months pregnant and can do so little especially about to be caring for an infant and my sister and mom. I am overwhelmed tonight because especially at night my sister starts having panic attack like symptoms and asking questions and crying and to be honest we don’t know what to do anymore. How to deal with her. What to say. Or even how to cope with all the noise and stress she is bringing. She has never been able to get a job or even qualify for state help or state programs... or day programs or housing. So basically when my parents pass if there is still no government help available she’ll be left to her own devices which is very dangerous for her or come live with me( a struggling 23 year old who is trying to support herself and a baby let alone her aspie dependent sister.) This is tough and might sound harsh but we are burnt out and desperate for advice. Open to any and all responses. Thanks in advance.
 
I'm certainly no expert, but when was she evaluated? Under the new guidelines there is no diagnosis of Aspergers any more. Her symptoms sound a little more severe than Aspergers. Is there any chance of getting her reassessed?
I don't know what else to suggest. I hope you find a way to get some assistance.
 
Are you saying she was evaluated by a GP? Or did she see a psychologist or psychiatrist?
 
She sounds like she has classic autism, over having aspergers; because no one with aspergers is as you describe your sister and in fact, MANY are able to function on their own and use discernment with strangers online.

You might like to use youtube for classic autism and see if you find any matches.

Can you not get someone in to take over the care of your sister?
 
Rateyourmd.com

You should find a new doctor. If she can't look after herself that fits the criteria for govt support. sounds like her current one isn't qualified / doesn't know much about autism. Asking the same question all the time could also be dementia or short term memory loss. In which case still should see a new doc. One might not be willing to assist you in getting on govt assistance but others will.
 
Alex.xxoo said:
hi guys idk what I’m doing here but i am desperate( desperate enough to make an account on this website and ask for help). I am 23 and have a sister who is 30 years old. My sister is an Aspie and cannot function independently. Just to clear things before getting any negativity on this post... i am trying to state the facts of our situation as bluntly as possible. From the time she wakes up until evening she asks the same questions over and over again. Usually to my mom who is her caretaker and very exhausted of being her caretaker for 30 years. My sister also will cry, whine and have tantrums all day sporadically (especially when she doesn’t get her way). My sister has obsessions with phones, computers and communicating through those devices. The only problem is that we cannot let her use those devices because she ends up talking to strangers and sometimes has gotten into terrible situations by meeting creeps online or in dating sites. I recently moved home to help my mom out because it’s a lot and my mom is sick but the problem is i am 9 months pregnant and can do so little especially about to be caring for an infant and my sister and mom. I am overwhelmed tonight because especially at night my sister starts having panic attack like symptoms and asking questions and crying and to be honest we don’t know what to do anymore. How to deal with her. What to say. Or even how to cope with all the noise and stress she is bringing. She has never been able to get a job or even qualify for state help or state programs... or day programs or housing. So basically when my parents pass if there is still no government help available she’ll be left to her own devices which is very dangerous for her or come live with me( a struggling 23 year old who is trying to support herself and a baby let alone her aspie dependent sister.) This is tough and might sound harsh but we are burnt out and desperate for advice. Open to any and all responses. Thanks in advance.
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I'm not a neurologist it sounds like she has mild dementia, that may be why she's having tantrums , I had very mild dementia for awhile and it can be linked to a lack of vitamin b!but it could be linked to just anxiety!
or it could be lack of socialisation,you've got to take her back to the doctor it's dangerous for everybody.
 
Whether or not there is a separate diagnosis depends on what diagnostic standard your assessors use ?

DSM-5 (US)has no separate Asperate ICD-10 (Europe) does. :)
 
It sounds like it's more than aspergers, she needs another diagnosis and professional help.

You use the phrase "might sound harsh", but I'm going to say something even harsher. Your priority right now is your baby. Caring for your mum and your sister makes you a wonderful person, but they are adults and have both been in the world longer than you. You are about to be a mother to a helpless baby. It's okay to try to make a life for yourself and put yourself and your child first. I genuinely wish you all the best.
 
As above.... that sounds like more than Aspergers and my suggestion, like others, is to have her re-evaluated, and that is NOT your job, that is your mothers, as admirable as it is for you to want to help. As @Bella Pines said, your priority is your baby and yourself. Is this your first baby? If you have never cared for a child before, trust me, this is NOT what you need, he/she will be more than enough work. Good luck.
 
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