Hey all,
I am new to this forum and joined it because I believe that I have Asperger's Syndrome. I have never been diagnosed with Asperger's by a psychologist. I diagnosed myself with it because I have done some research on it and found that I have all of the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome and I also have a minor in psychology which helps. The reason I did this is because I have been having a lot of problems in social situations since I was a child. I was always the individual that kids bullied, excluded and gossiped about. I always thought it was because of my Nystagmus which is an eye condition that causes my eyes to move randomly from side to side. I was made fun of for that so I just assumed it was because of that. Later I realized there was more to it than my eye condition.
Years later I realized that it was my inability to interpret specific social cues and poor social skills which resulted in an unsuccessful social life. I believe that my social skills have improved immensely in the past few years but there are still things which I need to improve on. I still have problems in my social life today. I have a hard time maintaining and making friends. I am always afraid that people will judge me and that I always have to be extra careful with what I say. I worry that the friends I made in undergrad think negatively about me because I have this sense that I am being judged every time I talk to them. I know that this one girl who is now friends with one of my close friends doesn't like me because she acts differently around others than she does around me. She doesn't keep in contact with me compared to others and only hung out with me so that she could get close with my best friend which really hurt.
Another reason why I believe I have Asperger's is because I engage in repetitive tasks such as listening to the same song over and over again. I can only focus on one thing at a time and I believe that music is the one thing that I excel at. I knew I wanted to be a musician since I was 10 years old. It is the one thing that I can fully focus on compared to other subjects. I did not like having to take other courses in high school. I just wanted it all to be music and when I entered university I was thrilled that my life finally got to revolve around music, my true love.
I do not know what to do. My boyfriend and my mom tell me that I don't have Asperger's and I want to tell my friends but I am afraid to tell them. What do you think I should do? I know I have it. I have all the symptoms and I feel like telling my friends will help because I want them to understand why I acted the way I did. Before I was trying so hard to figure out what was wrong with me because of the reactions I noticed from others. People would laugh, crack jokes or not invite me to all the events. In every group of friends I have been in since age 9 or 10, I have always been the runt of the litter and it really hurts. The positive thing is that I have a loving boyfriend, family and a few supportive friends who I feel I can fully be myself around. My parents and brother have always been supportive towards me and have helped me through my social issues growing up. They will always be a big part of my life. They are amazing people and I want the world to know that.
I apologize for writing so much and I hope I didn't sound too dramatic. This is my first time posting a on forums so please let me know if there is something that needs to be left out or added.
Best regards,
Grisey89
I am new to this forum and joined it because I believe that I have Asperger's Syndrome. I have never been diagnosed with Asperger's by a psychologist. I diagnosed myself with it because I have done some research on it and found that I have all of the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome and I also have a minor in psychology which helps. The reason I did this is because I have been having a lot of problems in social situations since I was a child. I was always the individual that kids bullied, excluded and gossiped about. I always thought it was because of my Nystagmus which is an eye condition that causes my eyes to move randomly from side to side. I was made fun of for that so I just assumed it was because of that. Later I realized there was more to it than my eye condition.
Years later I realized that it was my inability to interpret specific social cues and poor social skills which resulted in an unsuccessful social life. I believe that my social skills have improved immensely in the past few years but there are still things which I need to improve on. I still have problems in my social life today. I have a hard time maintaining and making friends. I am always afraid that people will judge me and that I always have to be extra careful with what I say. I worry that the friends I made in undergrad think negatively about me because I have this sense that I am being judged every time I talk to them. I know that this one girl who is now friends with one of my close friends doesn't like me because she acts differently around others than she does around me. She doesn't keep in contact with me compared to others and only hung out with me so that she could get close with my best friend which really hurt.
Another reason why I believe I have Asperger's is because I engage in repetitive tasks such as listening to the same song over and over again. I can only focus on one thing at a time and I believe that music is the one thing that I excel at. I knew I wanted to be a musician since I was 10 years old. It is the one thing that I can fully focus on compared to other subjects. I did not like having to take other courses in high school. I just wanted it all to be music and when I entered university I was thrilled that my life finally got to revolve around music, my true love.
I do not know what to do. My boyfriend and my mom tell me that I don't have Asperger's and I want to tell my friends but I am afraid to tell them. What do you think I should do? I know I have it. I have all the symptoms and I feel like telling my friends will help because I want them to understand why I acted the way I did. Before I was trying so hard to figure out what was wrong with me because of the reactions I noticed from others. People would laugh, crack jokes or not invite me to all the events. In every group of friends I have been in since age 9 or 10, I have always been the runt of the litter and it really hurts. The positive thing is that I have a loving boyfriend, family and a few supportive friends who I feel I can fully be myself around. My parents and brother have always been supportive towards me and have helped me through my social issues growing up. They will always be a big part of my life. They are amazing people and I want the world to know that.
I apologize for writing so much and I hope I didn't sound too dramatic. This is my first time posting a on forums so please let me know if there is something that needs to be left out or added.
Best regards,
Grisey89
