My therapist seems to imply I can’t be helped

[Markness]

My therapist got rather blunt with me when I saw her on Tuesday this week after not seeing her for maybe a month. She brought up how I had TMS and group therapy but I am still depressed. I tend to think she might terminate things between us again.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

This is the first that I've heard that you have treatment resistant depression. That's sad. So the magnetic stimulation did not work?

I am fortunate that Cymbalta seems to help me. It was especially useful as during the CPT, I started feeling worse about myself recognizing that in some respects I was my worst enemy.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

You may need another therapist...

 

[tree]

My therapist got rather blunt with me when I saw her on Tuesday this week after not seeing her for maybe a month. She brought up how I had TMS and group therapy but I am still depressed. I tend to think she might terminate things between us again.

This is your interpretation, isn't it?
Not a quote from her....

Did she say the words "You are beyond help. You're going to be depressed the rest of your life." ??

 

[Markness]

This is your interpretation, isn't it?
Not a quote from her....

Did she say the words "You are beyond help. You're going to be depressed the rest of your life." ??

She didn’t say that.

 

[tree]

She brought up how I had TMS and group therapy but I am still depressed.

This is fact, though, is it not ?

I tend to think she might terminate things between us again.

Whereas, this, is supposition on your part.

 

[PinkPhilodendron]

why don't you just ask her the next time if she believes you can't be helped? Then you would know.
Also, if she really thinks that, you should get another therapist but I really hope (and am optimistic) that you only misinterpreted that.

 

[Markness]

This is the first that I've heard that you have treatment resistant depression. That's sad. So the magnetic stimulation did not work?

Other than making me able to cry again, it didn’t help my mental health.

You may need another therapist...

I’ve actually been in and out of therapy since 2006.

 

[Markness]

This is fact, though, is it not ?



Whereas, this, is supposition on your part.

The TMS gave me back my ability to cry but that’s all. Group therapy was disappointing because other people in it had relationships and it confused me because I get constantly told depression is a deterrent to having a partner.

My mind always assumes the worst.

 

[Markness]

why don't you just ask her the next time if she believes you can't be helped? Then you would know.
Also, if she really thinks that, you should get another therapist but I really hope (and am optimistic) that you only misinterpreted that.

I’ll ask her. She did give me an assignment and that is to create a “vision board” of what I want to be as well as what I want my life to be.

 

[PinkPhilodendron]

wow, that's...tough. I would not know what to put on there and I do not have depression...do you have any ideas?

 

[tree]

The TMS gave me back my ability to cry...

How long had it been since you'd been able to do that?

Group therapy was disappointing because other people in it had relationships and it confused me because I get constantly told depression is a deterrent to having a partner.

You saw other people in the group who were in relationships, and you told yourself that you
also should be in a relationship.

My mind always assumes the worst.

Your mind is not separate from you.
The assumptions you make are the stories you tell yourself.
They aren't coming from somewhere else.
It's you telling yourself.

 

[Aspychata]

A vision board is neat. Perhaps you assumed the worst. Try to see if this therapist has helped you. If they can't help you , then maybe your styles aren't compatible. Therapists are not one size fits all. Sometimes you have to go thru a few. I have yet to find any. My friends actually help me. Lol

 

[Homulilly]

First of all, if she gave you an assignment, I don't think she's trying to say you can't be helped. The point of giving you an assignment is to go over that assignment later, right?

Then some generic advice on therapy. idk if these can be applied to your situation so take it with a grain of salt. I personally never felt comfortable in therapy, and later thought that probably just wasn't the best option for me. In group therapy I found that I often compared myself to others, as if by some weird instinct. The logical part of me knew that wasn't going to help or even rational in the first place, but it happened, and I didn't like it. I also went through 3 therapists, and after the 3rd one I just realized that I wasn't getting enough out of what I was putting into. Now I think if I had learned one thing during the few months I was with each therapist (and I do), then it was great. If I learned 2 things, effing amazing.

I personally used art and novels with main character with mental illnesses to get through my worst days. Those were what worked for me.

 

[Nonamedjohn]

Try consider that a therapist is like a bow and arrow you don't always hit your target but it's up to the person who's aiming. You have responsibilities as a patient and she or he has responsibilities as a physician. Find out what your role is and fulfill that role and find out what isn't your role don't worry about the second one and let the therapist do that independent of what you do or don't do. You wouldn't eat candy if it doesn't belong to you don't take on other people's problems if they aren't yours otherwise you'll end up with a bag of stolen candy and the mall cops will arrest you and take you to a CIA black site.

 

[tree]

"A vision board will not make your life perfect."

• "The act of making a vision board helps to identify and clarify goals, dreams, and intentions.
• They help us to focus on values, gratitude, and lifestyle choices, becoming an effective tool for authentic alignment and change.
• Vision boards act as visual affirmations, keeping dreams and goals active and believable in our imagination and world.
• They act as a map toward our dreams and goals, helping us to focus, plan, and do the tasks necessary on the way to achieving them."

How to Make a Vision Board that Works In 9 Simple Steps
https://www.elizabethrider.com/how-to-make-a-vision-board-that-works/
Stuck in a Rut? Consider Making a Vision Board

 

[Judge]

I've never been fond of therapists. Always felt left down by one who came across like a government bureaucrat. Having no interest in anything I was saying other than to occasionally interject with explaining the limited nature of my HMO's mental health coverage.

That said, did you ever consider the possibility that you may have this all backwards?

That it may be your therapist who is professionally incapable of helping you. To consider either seeking another therapist or as in my own case I came to the conclusion that therapy in this manner was simply not for me. A decision I have never regretted. Not all of our issues can be solved through therapy. It's a process- where there are no guarantees of success or failure.

For you to rely on them to this degree might be doing more harm than good. That you have to learn to rely more on your own resources than anyone else. Something to consider, anyways.

 

[Nonamedjohn]

I've never been fond of therapists. Always felt left down by one who came across like a government bureaucrat. Having no interest in anything I was saying other than to occasionally interject with explaining the limited nature of my HMO's mental health coverage.

That said, did you ever consider the possibility that you may have this all backwards?

That it may be your therapist who is professionally incapable of helping you. To consider either seeking another therapist or as in my own case I came to the conclusion that therapy in this manner was simply not for me. A decision I have never regretted. Not all of our issues can be solved through therapy. It's a process- where there are no guarantees of success or failure.

For you to rely on them to this degree might be doing more harm than good. That you have to learn to rely more on your own resources than anyone else. Something to consider, anyways.

Your therapist sounds like he wanted you to stop worrying about what you couldn't control and focus on the fact that if your insurance wasn't paying you couldn't see him anymore and everything else was beside the point so indirectly he was trying to get you to realize you needed to find a therapist your insurance paid for because he needs money for his family and you shouldn't live your life without guidance because you seemed to miss the point of everything he was telling you like a dog with no ears he didn't know his master and so he went to the wrong samurai and was made into soup.

 

[Judge]

Your therapist sounds like he wanted you to stop worrying about what you couldn't control and focus on the fact that if your insurance wasn't paying you couldn't see him anymore and everything else was beside the point so indirectly he was trying to get you to realize you needed to find a therapist your insurance paid for because he needs money for his family and you shouldn't live your life without guidance because you seemed to miss the point of everything he was telling you like a dog with no ears he didn't know his master and so he went to the wrong samurai and was made into soup.

Actually he was a she. And my HMO was the insurer. And she really didn't tell me much of anything, let alone provide feedback to make me even consider than she was listening to what I had to say.

It was truly a pathetic situation. Left a very bad taste in my mouth...

 

[Nonamedjohn]

Actually he was a she. And my HMO was the insurer. And she really didn't tell me much of anything, let alone provide feedback to make me even consider than she was listening to what I had to say.

It was truly a pathetic situation. Left a very bad taste in my mouth...

I actually knew you were going to say both of those things because you are oppositionally defiant when you feel like you're wrong but there's nothing wrong about accepting your therapist was right and you were just focused on other things but denial works for now.