Need help about Meltdowns and similar issues

[HouseRuina]

I've been diagnosed recently but I've known about the diagnosis for more time (for example I knew from the start that Sheldon from TBBT was supposed to have it without saying the word or ever talking about it, TV tropes calls this trope Ambiguos Disorder). I didn't know in my childhood but I had no real problem in development because my mother studied child therapy (altough she was specialized in talk therapy and that's why she didn't know about the syndrome) and I was in Montessori school most of my elementary years.

But I never knew about Meltdowns until recently, until I found the term online and I didn't understand what they were talking about. Then I tought "so every time I had this weird tantrums, panic attacks that didn't had the classic symptoms and rage attacks were actually this?".

The problem is that no one here knows a thing to help about Meltdowns. Most don't even know adults with autism exist, it seems like it was a generative disease that actually killed people around certain age because you search help as an adult and don't find it. Or they get surprised that you actually graduated or know how to drive, then say that they don't know how to help you because all their therapies are things like don't pee in bed or order in a restaurant without panic.

All they seem to know about Meltdowns is that exercise seems to help people with autism, so they get them in a Treadmill all day. But I've tried and this doesn't help with meltdowns or makes them worse.

Specially if they're emotional and they're already happening.

One thing I really want to know it's if I can regain full control and stop them. Because I seem to be able to delay them a bit of have the control to don't hurt others, don't hit myself or don't destroy valuable stuff.

But I want to know if for example I could stop them so I wouldn't look bad a a job of in front of people. Like looking angry or anxious.

 

[Isadoorian]

Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process!

 

[Rectify]

Hi @HouseRuina I haven't got any sage advice for you but I'm sure others will. Welcome to the forum

 

[Nitro]

Hi HouseRuina

 

[Wolfnox]

I relate. Certain amount of control can delay it. I had two melt downs at a job i had. Couldn't really do anything. But i could control how long they lasted to a limited degree. By thinking of positive or funny things. Sometimes it worked.

 

[Tom]

One thing I do if I can is 'Walk it off'. That is just take a brisk walk, or run an errand that takes some time and allows you to cool down. The walking as exercise also helps I think in the relaxing process.

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Autism Forums!

 

[GadAbout]

Some people say antidepressant or anti-anxiety drugs have reduced their meltdowns. I also agree with exercise / walking it off, and removing yourself from the environment. (At a job, maybe hiding in the restroom for a few minutes.)

 

[Running Girl]

I'd like to know too, House! By the time I have thought about taking a walk or leaving the environment, the damage is usually already done. Recreational drugs and alcohol helped until the solution was worse than the problem, so that's off the table for me.

 

[Rectify]

One thing I do if I can is 'Walk it off'. That is just take a brisk walk, or run an errand that takes some time and allows you to cool down. The walking as exercise also helps I think in the relaxing process.

I had a massage yesterday and the therapist reminded me of something I knew, but hadn't kept in mind. That when we are stressed if we don't release it it can build up the body - which mine did (in painful knots that she could feel). So a walk, a run, just something physical, is great for doing that.

But I relate to what @Running Girl said too. I don't have a habit of being active when stressed and I would never think of it at the right time. But I'd like to develop that so that I do associate stressful situation - ah, get active for a few minutes - before it's too late. I would need something I could do at home though. Maybe jumping or dancing or something

 

[Tom]

I had a massage yesterday and the therapist reminded me of something I knew, but hadn't kept in mind. That when we are stressed if we don't release it it can build up the body - which mine did (in painful knots that she could feel). So a walk, a run, just something physical, is great for doing that.

But I relate to what @Running Girl said too. I don't have a habit of being active when stressed and I would never think of it at the right time. But I'd like to develop that so that I do associate stressful situation - ah, get active for a few minutes - before it's too late. I would need something I could do at home though. Maybe jumping or dancing or something

There is also the opposite approach (which also can work), that is the quieting response. It's a thing you can learn involving breathing and relaxation techniques. Back in the day my first shrink gave me the course via tapes to listen to. At first it takes a while to bring your body back to a relaxed state, but supposedly with practice you can get it down to just a few minutes. These days you can probably find it online free.

 

[Aspychata]

Meltdowns do happen and you will get better at dealing with them. If you can learn to ride with the intensity of the feeling, like a wave crashing into the shore, then the emotions will dissipate like the wave after it slammed the shore. It does pass. And you breathe again, you need to recognize it is coming on, then realise you are crashing, then wait for the lull of your emotions to subside.

 

[Ladybird2013]

What helps me is making sure I get enough down time. This means quiet time in a cool, dark room with a comfy pillow and blanket, and taking a nap or watching one of my favorite shows for the millionth time! If I have enough time in an environment like this, I don’t melt down or shut down as much. This is also good to do after a meltdown. I have to remind myself that this isn’t being lazy, it’s taking care of myself!

 

[Ladybird2013]

Meltdowns do happen and you will get better at dealing with them. If you can learn to ride with the intensity of the feeling, like a wave crashing into the shore, then the emotions will dissipate like the wave after it slammed the shore. It does pass. And you breathe again, you need to recognize it is coming on, then realise you are crashing, then wait for the lull of your emotions to subside.

This is a great idea, thank you.

 

[Nervous Rex]

What helps me is making sure I get enough down time. This means quiet time in a cool, dark room with a comfy pillow and blanket, and taking a nap or watching one of my favorite shows for the millionth time! If I have enough time in an environment like this, I don’t melt down or shut down as much. This is also good to do after a meltdown. I have to remind myself that this isn’t being lazy, it’s taking care of myself!

This helps me a lot, too. I call it my time to "re-center myself" and "recharge"

Side note: I really enjoy hearing others' terms for the same things - it's like we all had to make up our own terms for the same things because we didn't know anyone else was going through the same thing.

Getting enough sleep is my best meltdown prevention - that's 95% of the battle for me.

 

[Nervous Rex]

This is a very timely discussion for me. Yesterday, (after watching an episode of Supergirl) I found myself comparing meltdowns to zombies and red kryptonite.

I've always hated zombies because I don't like the idea that something outside of my control can make me evil. The same with red kryptonite, which makes Superman/Supergirl evil.

I cling to the idea that my decisions are mine. When I was diagnosed with ASD and I saw how much of my personality traits, abilities, and shortcomings are affected by ASD, it became even more important. When you take away everything that's genetic, neurological, and biological, all I have left to call my own is my choices.

But a meltdown feels a lot like red kryptonite to me. The idea that something beyond my control can break me down is disturbing.

So I watch for things that I can control - how much sleep I get, how I address the things that stress me out. I manage my calendar and plan ahead as much as possible so there are no surprises. And when I do melt down, I try to ride it out and do as little damage as possible. Afterward, I do a postmortem study in my head and try to see what I can do to prevent it or deal better next time.

I want to see a story where Superman gets exposed to red kryptonite, realizes he's not right in the head, and resists it or gets help.

 

[Rectify]

There is also the opposite approach (which also can work), that is the quieting response. It's a thing you can learn involving breathing and relaxation techniques. Back in the day my first shrink gave me the course via tapes to listen to. At first it takes a while to bring your body back to a relaxed state, but supposedly with practice you can get it down to just a few minutes. These days you can probably find it online free.

That's funny - the therapist mentioned that too! Deep breathing.
I've got some work to do. :/

 

[AmelieL]

I'm new but just wanted to throw this out there. My daughter use to have meltdowns when she was hungry. Any time she started to get upset I'd grab some quick protein like string cheese or a spoon full of peanut butter. It worked like magic. I am guessing for you as adults you would know if it was hunger causing you to feel badly but I thought I'd put it out there in any case.

 

[HouseRuina]

I've tried certain breathing techniques, they work to a certain degree. But I have the problem that when I have the Meltdown a lot of the times I forget to breathe entirely, even less I would recall to make a deep breath.

I guess getting away works for me better, but sometimes there's the problem that it's not possible or it would upset other people. So I need to work on other ways.

This is a very timely discussion for me. Yesterday, (after watching an episode of Supergirl) I found myself comparing meltdowns to zombies and red kryptonite.

I've always hated zombies because I don't like the idea that something outside of my control can make me evil. The same with red kryptonite, which makes Superman/Supergirl evil.

I want to see a story where Superman gets exposed to red kryptonite, realizes he's not right in the head, and resists it or gets help.

I agree, that would have been a great story, specially because comics are getting redundant at this point.

I've also seen this in Shera, her sword got infected with a virus and she started attacking people. But again it was stopped by someone else by taking the sword away.

Then she started acting like she was drunk.

It was a fun episode but she realizing she was controlled would have been better.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

I was disappointed too, when i asked autism support in my region, their answer is always about children only, & they dont know much on how to help adult autistic.

Glad that we have this forum.