Need strength right now

[D'Andre]

I'm very upset because I'm going through life dealing with toxic people that have somewhat of a say in my life and could have influences on my security and finances. At this point I'm not associating with them and taking the consequences. They don't seem to accept me as different.

And I'm chasing this diagnosis and nothing seems to work out. I need somebody who can maybe chat with me and discuss my behaviors so when I actually find a diagnosis I'm sure and don't waste, energy, time, and money. I'm just tired. Being on here helps and I'm afraid of having all this positive evidence and some non caring Dr who doest know me say no.

I don't know, life is beautiful but so very tiring right now. Very few people understand me and so many think they know what's best for me. I feel like the world is too big

 

[D'Andre]

I can feel myself literally losing it

 

[Thinx]

This sounds very difficult for you, I am sorry you are upset. How can others have a say in your security and finances? That doesn't sound right. Have you had advice about your situation from anyone? This sounds tough for you, but you are maintaining your control by cutting off from these people and by coming here?

 

[D'Andre]

After mom died I had no other choice. Their not all bad, I'm just a bit of the odd one out and tend to get gaslighted

 

[Thinx]

Could you get some advice about this from welfare or other services. Relatives should not be gaslighting you. There may be services you can have that will enable more independent living?

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I'm very upset because I'm going through life dealing with toxic people that have somewhat of a say in my life and could have influences on my security and finances. At this point I'm not associating with them and taking the consequences. They don't seem to accept me as different.

And I'm chasing this diagnosis and nothing seems to work out. I need somebody who can maybe chat with me and discuss my behaviors so when I actually find a diagnosis I'm sure and don't waste, energy, time, and money. I'm just tired. Being on here helps and I'm afraid of having all this positive evidence and some non caring Dr who doest know me say no.

I don't know, life is beautiful but so very tiring right now. Very few people understand me and so many think they know what's best for me. I feel like the world is too big

Start thinking about how you will gain your independence. Set that as a goal and think about it as a special interest. I was pretty scared having to live on my own and also be responsible for a car and a job. I survived and learned the benefits and responsibilities of having my own agency. Having my own life helped greatly when I met my future spouse.

 

[D'Andre]

Could you get some advice about this from welfare or other services. Relatives should not be gaslighting you. There may be services you can have that will enable more independent living?

I think if i had a diagnosis, I'd have a getter chance at support. Now I'm still in limbo

Start thinking about how you will gain your independence. Set that as a goal and think about it as a special interest. I was pretty scared having to live on my own and also be responsible for a car and a job. I survived and learned the benefits and responsibilities of having my own agency. Having my own life helped greatly when I met my future spouse.

Great advice. Here is my situation. I live in a granny flat and pay the required amount, plus my utilities. I use public transportation. I see mental health regularly. Maybe I'm wrong and I'm open to feedback. I feel having an official diagnosis will give me more of a voice and more resources in case speaking up causes problems...make sense?

 

[D'Andre]

Is anyone available to chat and help me confirm my possible ASD before I seek a diagnosis?? I've done tests, drs have suggested it, but I'm dreading a negative diagnosis

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Hello,

I am not sure if an official diagnose will give you what you are expecting. If by resources you mean getting money from your state, then the diagnose may be usefull. If what you mean is that people will listen and respect you more because you have an official diagnose... It may work or not.

 

[D'Andre]

Hello,

I am not sure if an official diagnose will give you what you are expecting. If by resources you mean getting money from your state, then the diagnose may be usefull. If what you mean is that people will listen and respect you more because you have an official diagnose... It may work or not.

Thanks for the advice. I just feel like I've spentt my life not belonging. Always being, happily, different and engaging either you guys I feel like I being. And yeah some financial resources, but having support from the community when neurotypical don't chose to understand.

 

[D'Andre]

Hello,

I am not sure if an official diagnose will give you what you are expecting. If by resources you mean getting money from your state, then the diagnose may be usefull. If what you mean is that people will listen and respect you more because you have an official diagnose... It may work or not.

Also getting a diagnosis cost sooooo much and it would be devastating

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I think if i had a diagnosis, I'd have a getter chance at support. Now I'm still in limbo

Great advice. Here is my situation. I live in a granny flat and pay the required amount, plus my utilities. I use public transportation. I see mental health regularly. Maybe I'm wrong and I'm open to feedback. I feel having an official diagnosis will give me more of a voice and more resources in case speaking up causes problems...make sense?

Yes it does. I see you are already independent and having a diagnosis may provide you with options. I grew up at a time when autism was rarely diagnosed, so I had to figure out a lot for myself with no assistance. I was diagnosed at 60 and only last year did I start getting triggered and am now learning about and reconciling the PTSD from isolation as a teen and young adult.

 

[D'Andre]

Yes it does. I see you are already independent and having a diagnosis may provide you with options. I grew up at a time when autism was rarely diagnosed, so I had to figure out a lot for myself with no assistance. I was diagnosed at 60 and only last year did I start getting triggered and am now learning about and reconciling the PTSD from isolation as a teen and young adult.

Thank you for sharing that. And you gave me courage to continue...you all did!

 

[Thinx]

Where are you? Are you sure you'd have to pay? Do you have any records from school or of how you were as a child? Or someone who would come to share that? Honestly I think they overcomplicate diagnosis, but some are more enlightened. They should be talking to adults about their internal experience of the world, not asking about school as if that was vital. However it's true many of us struggled to make friends, and thought some were kindly treated, we felt different. Some were bullied for that difference. Teachers or helpers didn't necessarily effectively intervene.

 

[D'Andre]

Where are you? Are you sure you'd have to pay? Do you have any records from school or of how you were as a child? Or someone who would come to share that? Honestly I think they overcomplicate diagnosis, but some are more enlightened. They should be talking to adults about their internal experience of the world, not asking about school as if that was vital. However it's true many of us struggled to make friends, and thought some were kindly treated, we felt different. Some were bullied for that difference. Teachers or helpers didn't necessarily effectively intervene.

So true. I'm in sandigo. Yes its like between 800-2400

 

[Aspychata]

You can feel so alone when you have this. I have lashed out for not being understood, and for being bullied by groups of people with nobody helping me with support. It feels so alone when gaslighted or being bullied. I feel l have zero support. Getting diagnosed isn't going to change anything for me really. I tend to make my circle smaller when targeted. Just removed people that cause me stress or that can't say nice things to me. Good luck.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

You can feel so alone when you have this. I have lashed out for not being understood, and for being bullied by groups of people with nobody helping me with support. It feels so alone when gaslighted or being bullied. I feel l have zero support. Getting diagnosed isn't going to change anything for me really. I tend to make my circle smaller when targeted. Just removed people that cause me stress or that can't say nice things to me. Good luck.

@Aspychata , I hope you feel understood and supported here.

 

[Rodafina]

I feel like the world is too big

I agree, and I understand.

In your post title you said that you need strength right now – are you able to reflect on, share, or engage in those things that give you strength right now? Even if all the other things are unsettled and confusing, is there room to do anything that will really build your strength?

 

[D'Andre]

I agree, and I understand.

In your post title you said that you need strength right now – are you able to reflect on, share, or engage in those things that give you strength right now? Even if all the other things are unsettled and confusing, is there room to do anything that will really build your strength?

Wow yes! I speak up for myself more. And I fight for justice.. I'm learning how and when to engage with toxic people. I usually do it through written typed words because I can't think quickly. I'm also open to grow. I'll try to think of more. Just had a stressful situation so it'll take me a minute

 

[D'Andre]

You can feel so alone when you have this. I have lashed out for not being understood, and for being bullied by groups of people with nobody helping me with support. It feels so alone when gaslighted or being bullied. I feel l have zero support. Getting diagnosed isn't going to change anything for me really. I tend to make my circle smaller when targeted. Just removed people that cause me stress or that can't say nice things to me. Good luck.

That's solid advice!