I experience the same as you explain, shy of the blank.. I have sometimes experienced detachment or entirely zoned out into another aspect of the world.. I can’t garner much detail on it because I am usually quite absent when I do..
But more usually I always have too many conversations inside myself over what to say, what may be most relevant,
what is going on in this situation,
where is this going,
how do I feel about this,
are they actually wanting to talk further,
am I positioning myself properly to appear interested, crap my arms are folded and I’m directed away like I want to do something else, lean against something,
Another noise is interfering, cock your head to the side to strain some more audible detail and look at the bridge of their nose so they know they still have your focus, am I maintaining apparent interest or do I appear irritable, did i explain enough to show the connection in what I just said, wait did I say something wrong?
I still need to know what I said but seems asking what was wrong just made things worse, well now I’m going to have to rewind this two days later while I’m in the middle of doing something because the answer is right there In front of me but my selective memory feature inhibits any interpretations until 48hrs after any social award is achieved, but I didn’t unlo-
<Achievment unlocked: Duality - from disgruntled friend/co-worker, 50pts>
Ah, there it is. Now what was I doing?
Thing is, though I kinda perceive my actions as being robotic or designed in computer code and cold logic, I don’t feel I ever come off that way.
I definitely have anxieties but it doesn’t deter me from interacting, I do avoid group settings though, I haven’t found a way to be able to manage that much going on without having to be intoxicated and I don’t like being that way except for being more relaxed and less critical/inhibited, that only.
I can recognize and dismantle most anxieties but my problem is more with listening past that internal dialogue and thinking about what’s being actually said while I’m still talking about that internally, still defining my understanding of the conversation through compiling details to derive a larger picture that keeps going out of focus as more details are taken into account,
And then more apparently pointless conversation in between waiting for details and more internal dialogue distracting from each category discussed, having trouble commiting any information until I understand how to define it and losing track of everything until such point..
to me this is just one reason why I cannot manage much in unstructured or group settings because I wind up never having enough information to define and properly formulate opinion and so just wind up lost and spent, trying.
I as well have trouble processing in real-time. Unless I’ve experienced similar scenarios in past or planning, I need a bit of time between excerpts to analyze and refine my thoughts, often still changing before it leaves my lips.
That is, unless it’s something that I am already passionate about or intrigued by, then try to shut me up because even I have trouble trying.
I don’t know how that applies to various things but yes those social issues are some of many common characteristics of, as well as of others. Worth looking into, and labels or stereotypes aren’t what defines you, it may cause hinderance in some cases, help in others and hard to tell which is which because it never seems to be the same..
it’s just meant or supposed to help understand what’s going on, better. From what I gather, the human race would not be where we are today in innovation and adaptation without autistic genealogy,
I may be wrong but have read that it’s recognized as being responsible for majority of invention and creativity throughout history.
That’s not to say all were/are directly autistic, nearly everyone has some autistic traits as well as deficiencies but autistic individuals usually experience greater amounts or outside the normal range of, either in one way, the other or both and at varying degree’s. I hope i didn’t cannibalize representation of.
P.s. my apologies, I should state that I am as well currently awaiting diagnosis and should profess that this is occurring prior to even entertaining the possibility of ASD.
