Negatives

[watersprite]

I will likely ramble a bit here I apologize in advance. There are subjects and people which hit me harder than others. So, when they're brought up in conversation it's just about guaranteed that in my response I will be a jerk. This is due in part to my being likely - horrendously at times - to misunderstanding spoken word. It is also partly a conscious choice. I do not like it when I sense a box being drawn around me or others who may not actually fit the box. The negative is that the person speaking does not necessarily have the intention of boxing or labeling someone in. But I feel it is imperative to correct them. Categories and systems are cool but they can be mis-used.
Does anyone else have a prediliction for falling into the darker behaviour. Maybe it's just me.

 

[ancusmitis]

I am the same way sometimes. I can get very strident about some topics.

 

[Suzanne]

Oh, no, it is not just you. I have to stop myself from correcting, because it comes back on me. The problem is that it is like something sticking out and a need to push it back in, sort of feeling.

I am also terrible with timing. I hate doing parts of a time. If it is said o'clock not near etc, then it makes me very agitated if the person does not come on time. I do not say so to them, but my husband has to put up with me looking at my watch and saying: they are late and pacing up and down.

I am interacting a lot more with nt's now and observe with both deep envy and fascination how easy they communicate.

I see that I will always miss the mark and it hurts me very much.

 

[tree]

I will likely ramble a bit here I apologize in advance. There are subjects and people which hit me harder than others. So, when they're brought up in conversation it's just about guaranteed that in my response I will be a jerk. This is due in part to my being likely - horrendously at times - to misunderstanding spoken word. It is also partly a conscious choice. I do not like it when I sense a box being drawn around me or others who may not actually fit the box. The negative is that the person speaking does not necessarily have the intention of boxing or labeling someone in. But I feel it is imperative to correct them. Categories and systems are cool but they can be mis-used.
Does anyone else have a prediliction for falling into the darker behaviour. Maybe it's just me.

Are you talking about labeling?
Stereotypes? Categorizations?

Like....short/nervous/autistic/uncertain/mouthy/silly...etc.
Rich/frugal/demanding/jealous/optimistic/Pollyanna/overly analytical....???
Somewhat arcane references? Like inappropriately designating an art style
Mannerist when it's Impressionist?

Do you have any examples to show me what you are saying?

Do you mean that you think of the most negative outcomes because:
a. that way you can be prepared for the worst and get beyond it
b. you figure nothing will really turn out well...for some personal reason, like
not deserving it?

By being 'a jerk' do you mean that you find yourself responding to situations
in ways that you know will perpetuate further negativity? And you aren't sure
why a person would do that?

 

[garnetflower13]

Oh, no, it is not just you. I have to stop myself from correcting, because it comes back on me. The problem is that it is like something sticking out and a need to push it back in, sort of feeling.

I am also terrible with timing. I hate doing parts of a time. If it is said o'clock not near etc, then it makes me very agitated if the person does not come on time. I do not say so to them, but my husband has to put up with me looking at my watch and saying: they are late and pacing up and down.

I am interacting a lot more with nt's now and observe with both deep envy and fascination how easy they communicate.

I see that I will always miss the mark and it hurts me very much.

Goodness, I am that way too when someone does not come at the time that they said they would. I once had a supervisor yelling at me because I was upset that she did not come in ten minutes earlier than the starting time as she had promised. She accused me of "watching her time" whatever that means. It seemed to really upset her that I would believe that she would come when she promised to.

 

[clg114]

I will likely ramble a bit here I apologize in advance. There are subjects and people which hit me harder than others. So, when they're brought up in conversation it's just about guaranteed that in my response I will be a jerk. This is due in part to my being likely - horrendously at times - to misunderstanding spoken word. It is also partly a conscious choice. I do not like it when I sense a box being drawn around me or others who may not actually fit the box. The negative is that the person speaking does not necessarily have the intention of boxing or labeling someone in. But I feel it is imperative to correct them. Categories and systems are cool but they can be mis-used.
Does anyone else have a prediliction for falling into the darker behaviour. Maybe it's just me.

One of the great things about being old and grumpy, is that people expect me to respond to subjects that I find questionable and say exactly what I think. If it is wrong, it is wrong and there is nothing wrong with pointing that out. I do not see this as dark behavior, I see it as me being me. One of the other things great about being old and grumpy, is that if it pisses someone off, it does not bother me a bit.

 

[Suzanne]

Goodness, I am that way too when someone does not come at the time that they said they would. I once had a supervisor yelling at me because I was upset that she did not come in ten minutes earlier than the starting time as she had promised. She accused me of "watching her time" whatever that means. It seemed to really upset her that I would believe that she would come when she promised to.

I get that too ie annoyance. But from my husband, because I do recognise that it is my issue and so, he gets the time watching and agitating from me hehe

I guess she felt shackled by you ie without freedom, which is rather strange, since she was the supervisor lol

 

[wyverary]

I am a little bit unclear on precisely what it is you are asking. What, generally, is it that you are conversing about that brings up this (understandable) emotion?

 

[garnetflower13]

I get that too ie annoyance. But from my husband, because I do recognise that it is my issue and so, he gets the time watching and agitating from me hehe

I guess she felt shackled by you ie without freedom, which is rather strange, since she was the supervisor lol

Maybe she was insecure or something...