Neri here

[Neri]

Hi,
I'm new here. I wanted to wait for my official diagnosis, which happened last friday. I got diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. I guess that makes me an auDHDer, if I'm inclined to form my identity around my neurodivergency, which, I guess I am, at least, right now and lately, I am. I've been getting called out by family members for, basically, in my words, "being too autistic about being autistic". As it's been an obsession of late, to learn more about it and I can't help talking about what I'm learning about or thinking a lot about.

Bare in mind that I am a 50 year old female and, by the sounds of it, I am a very typical autistic woman, maybe especially for my, and older, generations. I guess I might fall into the "twice exceptional" category and maybe have been known to mask well, in some instances, which has and hasn't helped me, if you know what I mean. It's been pretty traumatic, a lot if my life and I got diagnosis' typical of people showing evidence of a lot of trauma, before I received my confirmation of this type of neurodivegence.

It's a HUGE relief to discover how not-alone I am in all this. Although I have had a fellow ND, same phenotype, I believe, partner, for quite a few years, AND I am the mother, sister and daughter of neurodivergent people. Most of whom aren't formally diagnosed and a few that are. I have a lot of children. I have struggled under the weight of many of their social difficulties and deficits too, on top of my own.

Anyway, that's probably enough for now. Oh, I am Australian. I live in Northern New South Wales. I'm am more of an Arts and humanities Autist but I'm kinda sciencey about humanities, having done some of a cultural studies degree and lots of research about many aspects of human behaviour and culture and "the human psyche". I am, quite typically I hear, quite an existential thinker type. Maybe typical for many older and some young Autist women and some men. My youngest son and partner are very hard science kinds of Aspie-Autists and I am, notably human and human behaviour centric in my interests and obsessions and curiosities aka "special interests". I used to be a performance artist of the singing, dancing, songwriting variety.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Welcome,

You sound quite gifted too, I like how you use typical in subgroups of atypical people.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome to the party! Having autism as a special interest is definitely something many of us are no stranger to.

 

[MNAus]

Hi,
I'm new here. I wanted to wait for my official diagnosis, which happened last friday. I got diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. I guess that makes me an auDHDer, if I'm inclined to form my identity around my neurodivergency, which, I guess I am, at least, right now and lately, I am. I've been getting called out by family members for, basically, in my words, "being too autistic about being autistic". As it's been an obsession of late, to learn more about it and I can't help talking about what I'm learning about or thinking a lot about.

Bare in mind that I am a 50 year old female and, by the sounds of it, I am a very typical autistic woman, maybe especially for my, and older, generations. I guess I might fall into the "twice exceptional" category and maybe have been known to mask well, in some instances, which has and hasn't helped me, if you know what I mean. It's been pretty traumatic, a lot if my life and I got diagnosis' typical of people showing evidence of a lot of trauma, before I received my confirmation of this type of neurodivegence.

It's a HUGE relief to discover how not-alone I am in all this. Although I have had a fellow ND, same phenotype, I believe, partner, for quite a few years, AND I am the mother, sister and daughter of neurodivergent people. Most of whom aren't formally diagnosed and a few that are. I have a lot of children. I have struggled under the weight of many of their social difficulties and deficits too, on top of my own.

Anyway, that's probably enough for now. Oh, I am Australian. I live in Northern New South Wales. I'm am more of an Arts and humanities Autist but I'm kinda sciencey about humanities, having done some of a cultural studies degree and lots of research about many aspects of human behaviour and culture and "the human psyche". I am, quite typically I hear, quite an existential thinker type. Maybe typical for many older and some young Autist women and some men. My youngest son and partner are very hard science kinds of Aspie-Autists and I am, notably human and human behaviour centric in my interests and obsessions and curiosities aka "special interests". I used to be a performance artist of the singing, dancing, songwriting variety.

Hi there, welcome. I wouldn't worry about being too intense on autism at the moment. It's all fresh and new (well, the diagnoses are) so you're bound to be curious. You'll get used to wearing this jacket and things will settle down. Until then, I'm sure you can be forgiven for being a little insufferable with your new found information.

 

[Nitro]

 

[Rodafina]

Hello and welcome @Neri!

It sounds like this could be a nice place for you and I hope you enjoy it here. Let us know if you need any help figuring things out.

 

[Neri]

Thank you, Altrapas Almas.Ahh yes, the doubled edged quote unquote "gifted" label. My youngest son is very much that, also (just turned 18). He's so smart and broadly knowledgeable he makes me feel not-so-much. And a synesthese (I forgot how to spell it, but he can taste sounds).
I love how "typical" I seem, now I'm researching, mainly on youtube, at this point, it's so refreshing to be just like so many people, I observe online. Coz RL has been a very lonely ride, until I met my now bestie/ housemate/ guy friend and I suck at keeping friends.

I think everyone is "gifted" in their own way.

Not so comfortable with the label, but, it still has relevance. Its ego-strokes for someone me who sucks at so many real life skills. I can't drive yet, haven't got my license. I can't keep house. I am unemployed. I never finished any schooling, but I have a so-called "IQ" at the top end of the bell curve, for what it's worth.

Thank you VictorR. I am being annoyingly preoccupied. It's my second time around doing the deep dive into "Autism". The first was about 6 years ago when I first started to suspect that my "complex PTSD" diagnosis wasn't the full story, nor the "borderline personality disorder" that I received, previously. I had done a lot of therapy and worked really hard at neuroplasticity-ing my brain from trauma-overactive nervous system response and mid brain highjacking. I learnt that Autism is highly genetic and "pennies dropped". My dad is such a classic, almost, stereotypical, Aspie. To the point where he didn't talk until he was three and then talked in full sentences, was obsessed with trains and can only really talk about his special interests. He's finishing his PhD in his mid 70's now,a Linguistic-Archeological journey of Indo-Europeans from the Steppes into great Europe, India, etc. Anyway, I diverge. I'm a lot like my dad, so I looked into "the female presentation" and everything fit. But when I told my gp I was interested in a diagnosis he said "Why would you want to spend all that money to be told something you already know?"
In typical autist fashion, I needed a lot of time to find the words and reason to explain why I wanted the diagnosis. Now 6 years later, my executive function and ability to even step out of my house and have any level of local social interaction is so compromised that I am seeking some govey support. Hence the added pressure to, finally, get the diagnosis.

Thanks MNAus. Are you an Aussie? Just wondering because of the Aus in your name. I appreciate you saying that. I had meltdowns over the weekend after my daughter and guy friend both had a bit of a go at me for talking, constantly, about neurodiversity, Autism, ADHD, my horrible burnout I've been in, and, well, it's been helping me SO MUCH, getting my head around our commonalities,as Autists, dispelling the shame, internalized ableism, my constant social clunkiness, social anxiety, painfully turned up sensitivities, and rejection sensitive dysphoria, and how clueless I am, STILL, despite how much study and research and observation, over how people do all this social interaction and enjoy it. I'm loving how much I'm freeing myself from feeling like I have to, in any way, fit into NT social or employment circles. I'm very fortunate to have a disability pension.

 

[Neri]

Hello and welcome @Neri!

It sounds like this could be a nice place for you and I hope you enjoy it here. Let us know if you need any help figuring things out.

Thank you @Rodafina. Yes, still figuring out how things work here. I sort of forgot how forums work, but, I think I'm starting to get the hang of it. This does seems, so far, like a place I could feel comfortable. Which is very rare for for me. I will be sure to ask if I need help. It's kind of you to offer.

 

[Neri]

View attachment 119284

Thanks for that @Nitro.

 

[tree]

 

[Neri]

View attachment 119289

Thank you @tree.

 

[AndyFBlues]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Neri]

Welcome to the forum.

Thanks @Andy

 

[Neri]

Welcome,

You sound quite gifted too, I like how you use typical in subgroups of atypical people.

I apologize. I forgot how to reply and replied to your post without hitting reply. Please see above post for my actual (long-winded) response

 

[Neri]

Welcome to the party! Having autism as a special interest is definitely something many of us are no stranger to.

Sorry for not notifying you that I did respond to your kind welcome. I forgot how to use forums and didn't hit reply to your post. However, I did respond with a very long winded response in an above post. Please see above ling post for response.

 

[Neri]

Hi there, welcome. I wouldn't worry about being too intense on autism at the moment. It's all fresh and new (well, the diagnoses are) so you're bound to be curious. You'll get used to wearing this jacket and things will settle down. Until then, I'm sure you can be forgiven for being a little insufferable with your new found information.

Sorry for not notifying you that I did respond. I just forgot how to respond properly for a bit there. Please see above, very long response to your kind welcome and sage advice.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Its ok, you are learning how the forum works. No need to apologise. I already saw your answer and gave you a like so you could know I read it.

 

[Chailatte_]

Hi,
I'm new here. I wanted to wait for my official diagnosis, which happened last friday. I got diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. I guess that makes me an auDHDer, if I'm inclined to form my identity around my neurodivergency, which, I guess I am, at least, right now and lately, I am. I've been getting called out by family members for, basically, in my words, "being too autistic about being autistic". As it's been an obsession of late, to learn more about it and I can't help talking about what I'm learning about or thinking a lot about.

Bare in mind that I am a 50 year old female and, by the sounds of it, I am a very typical autistic woman, maybe especially for my, and older, generations. I guess I might fall into the "twice exceptional" category and maybe have been known to mask well, in some instances, which has and hasn't helped me, if you know what I mean. It's been pretty traumatic, a lot if my life and I got diagnosis' typical of people showing evidence of a lot of trauma, before I received my confirmation of this type of neurodivegence.

It's a HUGE relief to discover how not-alone I am in all this. Although I have had a fellow ND, same phenotype, I believe, partner, for quite a few years, AND I am the mother, sister and daughter of neurodivergent people. Most of whom aren't formally diagnosed and a few that are. I have a lot of children. I have struggled under the weight of many of their social difficulties and deficits too, on top of my own.

Anyway, that's probably enough for now. Oh, I am Australian. I live in Northern New South Wales. I'm am more of an Arts and humanities Autist but I'm kinda sciencey about humanities, having done some of a cultural studies degree and lots of research about many aspects of human behaviour and culture and "the human psyche". I am, quite typically I hear, quite an existential thinker type. Maybe typical for many older and some young Autist women and some men. My youngest son and partner are very hard science kinds of Aspie-Autists and I am, notably human and human behaviour centric in my interests and obsessions and curiosities aka "special interests". I used to be a performance artist of the singing, dancing, songwriting variety.

Hello! And welcome,I’m new too.
It’s like lifting a huge weight off, right? I also love exploring human behavior and coming up with theories about it. There was a time when I 'mixed' string theory into a hypothetical repetitive social framework that we all (consciously or not) are a part of. I find it fascinating how everything, in one way or another, always leads us back to the same starting point - human behavior, a destination, but also a point of departure (it drives me crazy, thinking that the destination or starting point is relative). I could talk about it FOREVER.

 

[Neri]

Hello! And welcome,I’m new too.
It’s like lifting a huge weight off, right? I also love exploring human behavior and coming up with theories about it. There was a time when I 'mixed' string theory into a hypothetical repetitive social framework that we all (consciously or not) are a part of. I find it fascinating how everything, in one way or another, always leads us back to the same starting point - human behavior, a destination, but also a point of departure (it drives me crazy, thinking that the destination or starting point is relative). I could talk about it FOREVER.

Hi Chailette. Nice to "meet" you . Maybe we will talk more about this topic, seeing as it's a common point of interest. It's early morning here and my brain is a bit slow, or maybe already exhausted, as I just wrote a long post regarding what sounds like, someone dealing with narcissistic behaviour. So I have nothing intelligent to respond with, at the moment, but it's lovely to read your warm welcome. Newbies together. That feels nice .

 

[GalacticH]

Hi, I am also 50 and newly diagnosed. I'm in a bit of a haze about it, partly because I'm my first assessment I was told 2x exceptional but not autistic. I then found a neurodivergent affirming psychologist and the 2 experiences were night and day from each other.

How did you get to thinking you are autistic? I was learning some about it because of my work and it felt like a good fit. Still, sometimes I do get imposter syndrome about it.