New and Nervous

[Spideycow]

Hi there everyone.

I am a 21-year old male, and I've only recently received an unofficial diagnosis from my psychiatrist of high-functioning autism. I'll undergo a more thorough evaluation soon, but said psychiatrist has told my parents and I that there is little doubt in his mind that this is the case.

Since getting this bombshell dropped on me, I've been having a hard time accepting this new identity into my sense of self. But the more I research autism and read about the experiences of those on the spectrum, the more I come to feel like the sheet is being pulled from my eyes.

I've been part of the NT world (I've picked up at least that much lingo from my reading) for so long, trying so hard to pass and hating myself for failing. Perhaps it was just as simple a matter as trying to fit a square peg in a circular hole.

...
Here's something nice about me:

I'm extremely passionate about film. My all-time favorite movie is Blade Runner and my favorite director is Wes Anderson. One day, I would like to do something involving film, whether that be from a production, criticism, or teaching aspect. When I was still in college (story for a different time) I worked at the student newspaper as the movie critic.

I hope we can be friends.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I found out late myself, around your age actually. I'm 23 now. My little sister used to do cheerleading and my mom was talking to another one of the moms and her daughter was diagnosed as having high functioning autism. They talked and my mom realized i might have it because the other mom's daughter's symptoms (and what teachers back in elementary said about me) fit me to a 'T'. She researched on her own and brought the idea up with me, which i was initially unwilling to fully accept until i did research on my own. I'll be honest, it took months of reading up on it and coming in here before i was comfortable with the idea. I was glad, though, knowing there might be an explanation for my oddness. Why no one ever wanted to talk to me, why i always seemed to fail at everything, etc. It doesn't make it easier but it makes it easier to understand myself. It made work a lot easier too because then i understood that it wasn't just me being pathetic and not trying hard enough or not paying enough attention, it was specific, legitimate issues that i could address by researching and coming on here and reading other people's stories and asking for advice.

 

[Spideycow]

Thanks for the welcome! I also like the assortment of post ratings on this site, haha.

I was glad, though, knowing there might be an explanation for my oddness. Why no one ever wanted to talk to me, why i always seemed to fail at everything, etc. It doesn't make it easier but it makes it easier to understand myself.

I'm glad to hear that's been your experience. And I agree: the NT media's view of autism is scary, but reading and hearing the experiences of actual people has been very reassuring.

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome

I'm sure many of our members can relate with the idea of "trying to fit a square peg in a circular hole". Hopefully, in time, you will learn to realise, that you are still the same person, and that you are simply different, from many others (and that's not necessarily a bad thing). The more you learn about yourself, the more you can figure out what you need from life. I hope you're able to find many answers here.

Feel free to browse through our resources section too, for many more answers.

Resources: Autism & Asperger's Resources | AspiesCentral.com

Tony Attwood:

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The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome | AspiesCentral.com

 

[HDLSeanWiley]

don't be nervous! you're you!