Hi.
I've identified as HSP with CPTSD for 15 years but this year my youngest brother reported to the family he believes he is autistic. It prompted a deep dive of trying to tell the difference between innate neurodivergence and acquired neurodivergence. I am not particularly concerned about getting labels right as they seem to really be for neurotypical people to know what to do ... We are who we are and whatever it's called, naming it doesn't make it begin; if that makes sense. And if such diagnoses or labels open doors for accommodations and resources, all the better. I have witnessed people feel othered by being given a label they didn't seek themselves and I've witnessed people who found deep relief and self understanding and discovery by the discovery of all things autism and neurodivergent.
All this is probably not the introduction I meant to give but perhaps it helps shape the initial perception of who I am and how I think. It took reading in a discord server that high masking autism often leads to burnout which then prompts discovery of autism. That is what happened for me when I became a parent... life finally pushed me past my capacity and I had meltdowns, severe anxiety and depression and only found peace in reducing life's expectations by learning about Elaine Aron's HSP writings. Now of course I'm learning that I may have benefitted from understanding autism too, but what may have matched was still called Asperger's back then and the the examples given did not reflect my experiences. I have imposter syndrome and fear of appropriating a term that I shouldn't use. But I truly think post graduate school, the kind of mental fatigue I'm still working through and the high standards for what I expect to make the sacrifice and energy output for friendships worth it, have me allowing more ownership of my peculiarities and personal needs. I think I'm mostly here because I don't have the mental room to have anyone else depend on me outside my work, family and existing connections; but I really could use deeper understanding and support myself as I make sense of this newly self diagnosed high functioning autism... While still trying to untangle it from CPTSD.
If you read all that, thank you. I will definitely be sporadic in participating but I'm grateful for the conversations I can lurk and learn from.
I've identified as HSP with CPTSD for 15 years but this year my youngest brother reported to the family he believes he is autistic. It prompted a deep dive of trying to tell the difference between innate neurodivergence and acquired neurodivergence. I am not particularly concerned about getting labels right as they seem to really be for neurotypical people to know what to do ... We are who we are and whatever it's called, naming it doesn't make it begin; if that makes sense. And if such diagnoses or labels open doors for accommodations and resources, all the better. I have witnessed people feel othered by being given a label they didn't seek themselves and I've witnessed people who found deep relief and self understanding and discovery by the discovery of all things autism and neurodivergent.
All this is probably not the introduction I meant to give but perhaps it helps shape the initial perception of who I am and how I think. It took reading in a discord server that high masking autism often leads to burnout which then prompts discovery of autism. That is what happened for me when I became a parent... life finally pushed me past my capacity and I had meltdowns, severe anxiety and depression and only found peace in reducing life's expectations by learning about Elaine Aron's HSP writings. Now of course I'm learning that I may have benefitted from understanding autism too, but what may have matched was still called Asperger's back then and the the examples given did not reflect my experiences. I have imposter syndrome and fear of appropriating a term that I shouldn't use. But I truly think post graduate school, the kind of mental fatigue I'm still working through and the high standards for what I expect to make the sacrifice and energy output for friendships worth it, have me allowing more ownership of my peculiarities and personal needs. I think I'm mostly here because I don't have the mental room to have anyone else depend on me outside my work, family and existing connections; but I really could use deeper understanding and support myself as I make sense of this newly self diagnosed high functioning autism... While still trying to untangle it from CPTSD.
If you read all that, thank you. I will definitely be sporadic in participating but I'm grateful for the conversations I can lurk and learn from.
