New Here.... Probably have Asperger's and Definitely have Questions

[Kia_]

Hello all,
I'm a 16 year old girl and I'm fairly certain I have Asperger's, though that is just going off a self diagnosis; I haven't seen a professional. I could list all the reasons why I think that and how, but that would take a really long time to put down. I took a few online tests, one of which was the AQ (32+ likely Asperger's) and I got a 37. Another one (RAADS-R) scored me 155/200 where 65 is the minimum threshold. A few questions for those of you reading this, because they are things I've frankly been dying to ask:

-When were you diagnosed, if at all, and what affect did it have for you?
-Do you ever pretend to be normal for your family/friends?
-What do you think about emotions?
-How was school for you?
-What is your niche, if you have one?
-If I wanted to see a professional or get screened for Asperger's, how would I do that (I don't even know where to start)?

Thanks for your time,
Kia

 

[Judge]

Hi Kia, welcome to AC.

* Self-diagnosed, about two years ago.
* Friends or family get the real me, for better or for worse. Everyone else, I'm apt to impersonate an NT to some extent.
* I can be emotional, but I don't spend much time "thinking" about it. (NTs often take me as being "cold".)
* School? Rough most years beyond the third grade. Improved greatly in college.
* Niches? General liability (Insurance), building PCs, 20th century history/totalitarian systems and plastic modelling.
* No hurry to get formally diagnosed, although if/when I do it would be through a Psychiatrist or Neurologist with a focus on autism.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

Hello all,
-When were you diagnosed, if at all, and what affect did it have for you?
-Do you ever pretend to be normal for your family/friends?
-What do you think about emotions?
-How was school for you?
-What is your niche, if you have one?
-If I wanted to see a professional or get screened for Asperger's, how would I do that (I don't even know where to start)?

Thanks for your time,
Kia

Hi Kia, welcome to the site!

I'm "self-diagnosed-plus:" I mentioned it to my MD (who has known me for over a decade and diagnosed my ADHD), who remarked that he wouldn't be at all surprised. And I've got an almost-grown son, so this happened in my mature adulthood.

The older I've gotten, the less I pretend, but it's always been clear I'm "original, creative, unusual, memorable." I spent/wasted a lot of time "trying to be normal" and am only now beginning to appreciate just how much damage I took to do that.

"Thinking about emotions" is exactly the problem. My "IQ" moves so much faster than my "EQ" that the emotional brain has to resort to meltdown to catch up. I'm experienced as "cold" or "indifferent" by people who never get past my perimeter.

School was very difficult. I was bright enough to coast and still get into the Ivy League, but it took me 15 years to finish. By the way, it's a good idea to finish, unless you're oriented towards professional trades. Just sayin'.

I was one of the lucky people whose gifts showed up early (art and writing) and my niche is in complex problem solving for corporate groups (ie, industrial sociology--"why can't this group get anything done?" and related things).

Look for a psychologist testing service with a fairly broad base: ie, AS is often co-existent with ADD, ADHD, OCD, and currently it's lumped in with autism. Find someone with a specialty and ask them how they determine a diagnosis. One of your measures of a good response is how much respect they treat you, and how thoughtful they are about the question.

Hope this helps. Feel free to follow up with me or any of us. We're not experts on anything but ourselves--but we all learn from this forum what it means to be "on the spectrum."

cheers,
A4H

PS. I treated "niche" as a professional question. I have deep interests in history, psychology, business, theological studies, and intermittently get passionate about all sorts of odd things. Despite the college degree, I'm self-taught in my field and used workshops to patch any gaps I noticed.

 

[Nitro]

First off,Welcome to AC
-When were you diagnosed, if at all, and what affect did it have for you?
Self diagnosed at first and later backed by professionals
I understood why I was different,but nothing changed
-Do you ever pretend to be normal for your family/friends?
No,my family accepts me the way I am and my friends admire who I am.
I can turn from Albert Einstein to the village idiot from one sentence to the next and back again
-What do you think about emotions?
Am I really supposed to give a hoot?
-How was school for you?
Boring and not enough of a challenge
-What is your niche, if you have one?
A very strong background with mechanical and machining abilities combined with engineering.Most of my world revolves around motorsports,hence the Nitro handle I use online.I have the ability to tackle any task placed in front of me when it is time to learn it. I play with computers a bit,love technology and electronics,have aviation experience in the air and in the repair shop,dabble in photography,art and music.

 

[DarkAscent]

Good day, Kia, and welcome to Aspies Central.

I come from Britain and I'm not very sure as to how the education or medical system in the USA works, or the type of support that students with a diagnosis receive, but I'll try to answer your questions as much as I can.

• I was diagnosed last year a few months before I turned 16. I attend a special school for deaf students because I'm also deaf. Receiving my diagnosis was a relief for both my family and I as it meant that there was an explanation for my behaviour and my inability to fit in with other students.
• It's too exhausting for me to pretend or to act "normal" in front of my family members and friends. My family and friends accept me for who I am and my Asperger's.
• I often don't think about emotions. I have a hard time detecting my own emotions so they build up, and I rarely use face expressions, but I can be very emotional at times.
• I have only a few memories of mainstream school but most of them are painful because I was bullied by both my teachers and peers. I felt very misunderstood and out of place in mainstream school. Special school has been wonderful. I've never felt so accepted and understood before, and I have lots of close friends now.
• My niche is art (creative writing and drawing comics).

Kia, have you spoken to your family members about your suspected Asperger's? Not sure if this works in the USA, but perhaps speak to your doctor about Asperger's and outline why you suspect that you have it and maybe bring copies of the results of the tests that you've taken. The doctor may refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist.

 

[SameStars]

-When were you diagnosed, if at all, and what affect did it have for you?
I was diagnosed at 16 years by a psychologist (specialized in Autism in children and teens). During college this afforded me some extra guidance and I got to take my tests in the room for learning disabilities. My family was a bit nicer about some of my rigid behaviour.
-Do you ever pretend to be normal for your family/friends?
Yes, thanks to observation and having been told what to do in situations, I can act accordingly. It's easier and more natural with people I like.
-What do you think about emotions?
In some ways I'm detached and logical, but I can feel very deeply.
-How was school for you?
Unmemorable. I spent a chunk of time just reading in class.
-What is your niche, if you have one?
Books, I guess. I can read hours on end.
-If I wanted to see a professional or get screened for Asperger's, how would I do that (I don't even know where to start)?
Have a doctor give you a referral, or go and find a service that specializes in ASD.

 

[Sev]

Welcome to the forums!

When were you diagnosed, if at all, and what affect did it have for you?
I was diagnosed just after I turned 15 I think, just over two years ago. I didn't really take the diagnosis very well and was a touch emotional about it, realistically though, it helped me in the long run (connecting with people, learning coping mechanisms etc).

Do you ever pretend to be normal for your family/friends?
All the time and acting like a normal human being puts such a strain on me

What do you think about emotions?
Neither like nor dislike them, I just tend to disassociate myself from them.

How was school for you?
A nightmare.

What is your niche, if you have one?
I used to have niches, lately I just have mild interests.
Those are, and are not limited to: Programming and Creative Writing.

If I wanted to see a professional or get screened for Asperger's, how would I do that (I don't even know where to start)?
In my case, I found a local psychiatrist that specialized in Autism and other similar disorders through a Google search. I later left with the diagnosis. It was a very simple process, they just ask questions and analyse your behavior then make a judgement. In my case, I didn't have to see the psychiatrist more than once, but I've heard sometimes you have to visit multiple times so they can be sure. If this bothers you (socially or financially), you can always stress that you can't make a return visit and that you require a diagnosis in the one session - this worked for me. As mentioned earlier, a doctor could also help you find a good psychiatrist to see.

 

[Kia_]

Thanks you guys for all the responses.
I'm surprised how similar a lot of these interests are to my own (art, writing, computer programming) as well as some of the other answers - I can totally relate, which is rare.

Have you spoken to your family members about your suspected Asperger's?

I have not. It's something I'm really, really anxious about doing if I ever decide to. There are a few reasons why it's such a hassle. My parents, whom I dearly love and respect, are already really burdened with a lot of stuff (financial, personal, etc.) and I don't want to add to that. That and I don't know that I would be taken seriously, since no one really knows me very well - even in my family.

I've always tried to act "normal" around them so they wouldn't be freaked out or get too involved in my personal life. Till now, I haven't shared my thoughts/feelings to this degree with anyone ever, since I'm extremely private and secretive - verging on paranoid. Just the mere thought of trying to speak about this... it horrifies me. Besides, I feel like my family isn't even capable of understanding.

Lastly, my family hasn't ever really been involved with psychologists/psychiatrists before. We almost had my brother tested for OCD/ADHD but my parents didn't want to "label" him or give him an excuse/justification for acting up. That and we don't have the financial ability or time to take me to psychiatrists, therapists, and whatnot.

Simply put, I don't know yet that I want to (or even can muster up the courage to) talk to my family about it. I was thinking I might just continue in the way things are with my self-diagnosis until eventually I can take myself through all the hoops. But I don't know if that's the right thing to do...

 

[Nitro]

My question to you would be if there is a history in your family of anyone you would suspect to have an ASD. It can tend to run in genetic based cycles like it does in my family.

 

[Kia_]

My question to you would be if there is a history in your family of anyone you would suspect to have an ASD. It can tend to run in genetic based cycles like it does in my family.

Not that I know. On my mother's side there's history of ADHD or something of the sort. On my father's there is something like OCD. I don't know about my grandfather (dad's dad) because he passed away before I was born. I don't know anything about family history and genetics past grandparents so not a lot to work with...

 

[Nitro]

Not that I know. On my mother's side there's history of ADHD or something of the sort. On my father's there is something like OCD. I don't know about my grandfather (dad's dad) because he passed away before I was born. I don't know anything about family history and genetics past grandparents so not a lot to work with...

It is possible that their diagnostics were done improperly or before autism was understood at the level it is today...you have listed co-morbids that often accompany spectrum disorders

 

[Greg]

-When were you diagnosed, if at all, and what affect did it have for you?
40 and was a relief to finally have an answer to what was going on.

-Do you ever pretend to be normal for your family/friends?
Yes as much as I could. I would try and hide it and then when to myself most of it comes out.

-What do you think about emotions?
I have emotions but as a whole have a lack of empathy for others.

-How was school for you?
Very challenging

-What is your niche, if you have one?
Don't really have one I guess

-If I wanted to see a professional or get screened for Asperger's, how would I do that (I don't even know where to start)?
The best way would be to go see a p doc or therapist and have them assess you.

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome Kia

You do seem rather capable, though I thought I'd suggest a few resources, which might help you a bit more, in better understanding it all. Also, as a self-diagnosed female, on the spectrum, it's important to be aware too, that not all specialists are trained at identifying AS, in women. I'm sure you've learned that there are differences, between typical male, and female, traits.

AS for women:

Aspergirls: Empowering Females With Asperger Syndrome | AspiesCentral.com

Day 62: Females with Asperger’s Syndrome (Non-Official) Checklist | Everyday Asperger's

Tony Attwood (I recommend a YouTube search of him too):

Home

The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome | AspiesCentral.com

 

[HisShadowX]

Get diagnosed by a professional it will open you up to services and support such as ssi and schooling that will become hard or impossible when you turn 18