New job

[GypsyMoth]

Hi folks,

Started a new job last week; sorry I haven't been around very much. I'm on a floor with 40-50 people, most of whom I will need to know by sight. So I was led around on Monday & briefly introduced to key personnel, then on Friday I went around for my own meet and greet. I have no idea who I met on Monday. Most were not in their cubes. Apparently saying, "hi, I'm your new..." is not the way to start a second introduction, but if I can't tell who I met before from who I haven't met--! It's not like everyone ws hanging out in he same spot as when I first met them, or in the same clothes...

I got three real negative conversation-stopping replies. I'd like to peg it on them--but I am the new person & I'm sure I was upsetting their internal rhythm & flow by re-introducing myself.

(Most everyone was out in the field on Monday, so I got a lot of "and this is where so-n-so sits intros.) I went home exhausted. All I wanted was time to myself & that's selfish, so I went out to dinner with hubby & we agreed, it was the most awful dinning experience either of us have ever had. (We were seated before the entryway doors. Every time they opened, a strong smell of pot wafted in. It smelled like being downwind of an enormous, smoldering leaf pile. So we asked to be moved. Oh, they moved us all right, as far from that door as they could...right next to the johns. Nothing like enjoying your meal with perfume de toilette! Geesh!!!)

Anyway, supervisor hasn't commented either way on the fidgets I've been using while doing the training reading. I found out that a paperclip works just as well.

Any suggestions on integrating better with staff? I've worked from home alone for a number of years & haven't had to integrate with new staff in over 15 years.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Congratulations on starting your new job!

I use smiles and compliments to smooth the way. I try to think ahead of time what topics of conversation I might be able to use that day.

 

[Rodafina]

I know the name thing can feel impossible, but if there’s any way you can focus and learn people’s names, it can go a long way in how they feel about you. Apparently, people really like it when you know their name and I have found sometimes just saying hi and using the name is enough, avoiding further conversation altogether.

I will go so far as to make up rhymes about people (privately!) or write down names on my hand and other little ways of cheating. Taking the time to properly pronounce peoples names and asking them when there may be a question also seems to show respect and has been appreciated when I have taken this approach.

This may not be possible in your role there, but sometimes just the name is enough for a connection, even though they are so very hard to learn and remember.

Good luck and stay strong! Remember, settling into a new job can be so taxing, especially when you have a rotten dinner out to end the day.

 

[Aspychata]

Congrats on this new endeavor. That sounds like a big work force.

I wish l could say something helpful. I draw blanks with names and faces myself.

 

[Outdated]

Congratulations. I hope it works out well for you.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Hi folks,

Started a new job last week; sorry I haven't been around very much. I'm on a floor with 40-50 people, most of whom I will need to know by sight.

Any suggestions on integrating better with staff? I've worked from home alone for a number of years & haven't had to integrate with new staff in over 15 years.

Congratulations.

The answer to your question may be more accurately answered by observation of the "norms" of your co-workers. It's that same old "observe and imitate" routine. Listen to what the complaints are amongst the staff when they complain about others,...then don't do that. I think the most impactful thing you can do right now,...since you are new to the team, and they are still "feeling you out" in terms of what kind of person you are, is to be humble when you already know something, when in doubt, ask your resources before doing something for the first time, and then, random acts of kindness towards others. Even when you are busy yourself,...help with the little things even when not asked.

People may sense the autism in you,...but not know what it is,...all they know is that there is "something different". They are likely going to be a bit shy,...subtle marginalization. So, you have to come out of your shell a bit, say their name when you address them, look them in the eye and take an interest in them by asking questions about them.

All of this is a lot of added stress,...so take care of yourself,...proper diet and sleep,...pay attention to yourself. If you start getting "on edge" or more quiet than you're used to,...pace yourself. My technique is that I have a few "safe places" where I can take random "mini breaks",...a locker room, a bathroom,...have a bottled water, a small snack,...and then 5-10 minutes later, back at it. It's got to be short enough that people are not going to notice, but long enough to collect yourself.

 

[GypsyMoth]

Congratulations.

The answer to your question may be more accurately answered by observation of the "norms" of your co-workers. It's that same old "observe and imitate" routine. Listen to what the complaints are amongst the staff when they complain about others,...then don't do that. I think the most impactful thing you can do right now,...since you are new to the team, and they are still "feeling you out" in terms of what kind of person you are, is to be humble when you already know something, when in doubt, ask your resources before doing something for the first time, and then, random acts of kindness towards others. Even when you are busy yourself,...help with the little things even when not asked.

Looks like my new office revolves around food. So I ditched the diet last week for candy bars and this week for Rice Krispie treats. (They were really yummy. I haven't had junk food in months.) And tomorrow I'm bringing in a package of double chocolate, chocolate chip cookies. (But I have to go back on my diet. I've been no-sugar for almost a month & it's been helping my mood.) I volunteered on the first day for some office-duty role. The director was delighted.

People may sense the autism in you,...but not know what it is,...all they know is that there is "something different". They are likely going to be a bit shy,...subtle marginalization. So, you have to come out of your shell a bit, say their name when you address them, look them in the eye and take an interest in them by asking questions about them.

So, I have something to share on this but may do so elsewhere.

All of this is a lot of added stress,...so take care of yourself,...proper diet and sleep,...pay attention to yourself. If you start getting "on edge" or more quiet than you're used to,...pace yourself. My technique is that I have a few "safe places" where I can take random "mini breaks",...a locker room, a bathroom,...have a bottled water, a small snack,...and then 5-10 minutes later, back at it. It's got to be short enough that people are not going to notice, but long enough to collect yourself.

Thanks for the advice on taking the time to collect myself. This is the first time I've been in an office in 4 years. It's quite a change. Would you know, they have a quiet corner with a couple of secluded chairs just for people to chill. They're available to be used on break; I'm just waiting to get my access form signed off on (it's part of a very mini-gym). I have landed in a very interesting workplace environment. A friend has been urging me to eat better, so I'm making the effort with that, too.

 

[GypsyMoth]

I know the name thing can feel impossible, but if there’s any way you can focus and learn people’s names, it can go a long way in how they feel about you. Apparently, people really like it when you know their name and I have found sometimes just saying hi and using the name is enough, avoiding further conversation altogether.

I will go so far as to make up rhymes about people (privately!) or write down names on my hand and other little ways of cheating. Taking the time to properly pronounce peoples names and asking them when there may be a question also seems to show respect and has been appreciated when I have taken this approach.

This may not be possible in your role there, but sometimes just the name is enough for a connection, even though they are so very hard to learn and remember.

Good luck and stay strong! Remember, settling into a new job can be so taxing, especially when you have a rotten dinner out to end the day.
View attachment 87928

I volunteered for this random office-duty thing that involves a cubicle map and collecting people's names... now, why would I be so eager to do that? Nobody there can figure out why... But now I have this handy chart to check! Just so long as I don't pass anyone in the hall. (About the rest of what I volunteered for? I really don't know. But nobody seems to take it seriously so I'll eventually figure it out.)

I am finding this time around that hairstyles are helping. I like the rhyming idea. Thanks, @Rodafina.