New member with a lot of questions

[Kelly j]

Hi there, I've just come across this site after recommendations from parents. 'My 3 year old son is currently awaiting a diagnosis, peads haven't told me what it could/could not be.

My son has just started main stream nursery and is not potty trained as he doesn't understand the concept of it, he's a HAPPY but quiet child you struggles out of routine...

I feel so lonely when it comes to his needs as I have no idea where to seek help and unable to access any help or advice while we wait for results from a gene test (4-6 month wait). Is there anyone who has similar experiences that could shed some light at the end of the tunnel?

 

[tree]

 

[Warmheart]

Howdy Kelly J! Welcome here.

 

[fairy_girl]

Welcome to the forum. With potty training it takes time but he'll get it. I would make sure that he doesn't have a fear of the noise that the flushing toilets make and if that's not the case then continue potty training.

 

[Nitro]

 

[xudo]

Welcome

 

[Ink]

Welcome to the forums,

Firstly your son sounds like a lovely little boy, you should speak to the nursery and let them know that he isn't potty trained and explain to them why he doesn't understand and I'm sure they will offer their support.

If you would like somewhere else to seek support visit the national autistic society's website.

 

[Sabrina]

My suggestion is: try it for a couple of days, if he still doesn't get the hang of it, leave him alone for a month or more, and so on, until he finally does it.

My experience with my older daughter was awful. At two years old I started potty training her (because that was what I was "supposed" to do) and it was six nightmarish months of her making #1 or 2 anywhere. I was exhausted and with bad temper all day long, but it never occurred to me to do otherwise. Then she changed schools, and there the psychologist told me I should put her back on diapers (I was so relieved) and try again when she was more mature. I waited until she was three and half and it worked out. But she continued using diapers at night until she was 6 and half years old.

I think your son is the one that is going to tell you when he is ready. Pressuring him just lowers his self-esteem and yours as a mother, and doesn't work.
I also had my daughter tested with some painful procedures to see if there was something physically wrong with her, and I still regret it. They told me she had an immature bladder and gave her some medications, but I think the doctor just took advantage of us.

 

[Alaska]

I have become suspicious about Drs. just out to make money at their patients' expense. It is even worse to think some of those are pediatric specialists hurting children to make money. I just hate it that you and your child suffered through that.

 

[Alaska]

Hi there, I've just come across this site after recommendations from parents. 'My 3 year old son is currently awaiting a diagnosis, peads haven't told me what it could/could not be.

My son has just started main stream nursery and is not potty trained as he doesn't understand the concept of it, he's a HAPPY but quiet child you struggles out of routine...

I feel so lonely when it comes to his needs as I have no idea where to seek help and unable to access any help or advice while we wait for results from a gene test (4-6 month wait). Is there anyone who has similar experiences that could shed some light at the end of the tunnel?

Hi Kelly J. Welcome to AF!!!

As you can see, we have some friendly and informative parents on here. Stick around for more of the same.

 

[Gracey]

Hello Kelly

 

[ZebraAutismo]

I won't completely potty trained at age 3. Message me for more info.

 

[MrSpock]

I only know one child on the spectrum. He's seven, close to eight, and still wears diapers at night, still requires a wash and change of clothes fairly often during the day. We don't know what to do either, he seems to be improving slowly.

 

[spaceman]

I did this myself for years. I grew out of it in the end. But from about 5-16 I hid this embarrassing habit. I always knew it was wrong. I wanted to go; just not at the same time my bowels did, so I'd try to hold it in. And it could come back the next day, I'd do the same thing, try to put it off. Sooner or later I'm hiding another pair of ****** underpants from my mother. (I used to ball em up and feed it under the toilet u bend and flush em away )

Looking back, maybe it's like a lot of other aspects in my life. 1- the need for things to be done my terms/my time. (Time to prep etc.).

So maybe get the pottee out at a 'set time' and keeping to it. Obviously when nature calls, get the pottee back out, reinforce what the pottee 'Catches' Encourage. Then put away. I'm no expert. Just a complete layman. Or maybe use the pottee after a particular, cue.

Hope your son is happy, and you work it all out.

Your at an amazing place.

J

 

[OkRad]

Hi there, I've just come across this site after recommendations from parents. 'My 3 year old son is currently awaiting a diagnosis, peads haven't told me what it could/could not be.

My son has just started main stream nursery and is not potty trained as he doesn't understand the concept of it, he's a HAPPY but quiet child you struggles out of routine...

I feel so lonely when it comes to his needs as I have no idea where to seek help and unable to access any help or advice while we wait for results from a gene test (4-6 month wait). Is there anyone who has similar experiences that could shed some light at the end of the tunnel?

Welcome!!! I am glad u mentioned genetics!! Once you get tests back, there are many many many groups for support. There is Unique. That is first place and then they can guide u to Facebook groups w ur child's ecact chrom abnormailty. I have chrom6 so i am part of that group.

They help a lot because drs are all deer in the headlight w chrom ab at this point in science. But when everyone tells how they r effected and it exactly how u r, u feel at home.

Pm me when u know more!! Good luck

 

[Kelly j]

Thank you all for your kind messages and welcomes..... its nice to know there are people with the experiences and that I'm not alone, he is our only child (at the moment ) and all new to me and my husband.... whatever the diagnosis may be, we don't see it as a bad thing-just who our son is.... just appears to be so much pressure on the children and parents for our little one to hit milestones for main stream nursery while we await the results .... I have been so stressed this week, it does make you question your own parenting methods Just preying that the results don't take a long time so we can get the support we so desperately need

 

[Streetwise]

Thank you all for your kind messages and welcomes..... its nice to know there are people with the experiences and that I'm not alone, he is our only child (at the moment ) and all new to me and my husband.... whatever the diagnosis may be, we don't see it as a bad thing-just who our son is.... just appears to be so much pressure on the children and parents for our little one to hit milestones for main stream nursery while we await the results .... I have been so stressed this week, it does make you question your own parenting methods Just preying that the results don't take a long time so we can get the support we so desperately need

If you think he is suffering get back to your gp,they could put him at the front of the queue as an emergency
If it's seen as mild autism you'll probably wait longer

 

[spaceman]

Try putting newspaper and/or the pottee in a safe corner If he likes walls and corners. For some reason I would go to those areas, when I needed a poo that wasn't ready to part with

Or hide I used to shield behind a sofa. Try to just go with it, keep an eye on where he goes and what he does when he needs a poo.

For me it was an isolating feeling. If he goes away hiding, and goes silent and distant. He's probably holding it in.

Keep the room warm, I hated cold new air against my skin. Even a shower on warm creates wind.

Good luck

 

[Keigan]

Welcome. Glad you are finding friends!