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New member with a problem

Snow Guardian

Snow Guardian

Member
I don´t know for sure whether I have Aspergers or not but I think that there´s a high chance of me having it. I´ve done several self-tests who (except for one) say that I´m a person on the autistic spectrum with Asperger. I know that These tests don´t replace a doctor but I´m too scared to talk to my parents about this. Does anyone know what I can do now?
 
What is it that is frightening you? What do you think
would change in your life if you were, in fact, on
the spectrum?
 
I would have felt afraid of talking to my parents, too - I don't think they would have accepted it or believed me. But your parents may be different, and with a diagnosis you could receive useful accommodations. My advice to you about what to do now is just to read books about it (especially those by aspies) and watch videos (especially those made by aspies). I have found those to be the most helpful things, like gaining a user's manual to myself.
 
Ambi said:
I would have felt afraid of talking to my parents, too - I don't think they would have accepted it or believed me. But your parents may be different, and with a diagnosis you could receive useful accommodations. My advice to you about what to do now is just to read books about it (especially those by aspies) and watch videos (especially those made by aspies). I have found those to be the most helpful things, like gaining a user's manual to myself.
Click to expand...

My problem is as well that they might think that I´m just imagining it and that I´m just stressed but thank you for the advice
 
tree said:
What is it that is frightening you? What do you think
would change in your life if you were, in fact, on
the spectrum?
Click to expand...

I´m scared of talking to someone about it because I might not get understood or that I could get told that I´m overreacting with the whole Situation and just imagine it. I think I´d have less worries in life if I knew for sure because I´d stop asking myself all the time "Why did you do this?"/"Why didn´t you just ask?" etc.
 
Southern Discomfort said:
Put aside the test scores, what problems do you face in every day life?
Click to expand...

My motoric skills aren´t the best (I Keep dropping things all the time), I hate/dislike eye contact (especially with teachers and people I don´t know), my social skills are bad (I always need to overcome my fear to ask something or to say something in classes), I can´t really Keep conversations up, I´m anxious most of the time and mostly without any reason, I always plan in the morning what I´m going to do later and it annoys me when I have to change my plans when something unexpected happens, I get annoyed easily, I hate loud noises (they make me tired and a bit anxious) and a few more
 
Snow Guardian said:
My motoric skills aren´t the best (I Keep dropping things all the time), I hate/dislike eye contact (especially with teachers and people I don´t know), my social skills are bad (I always need to overcome my fear to ask something or to say something in classes), I can´t really Keep conversations up, I´m anxious most of the time and mostly without any reason, I always plan in the morning what I´m going to do later and it annoys me when I have to change my plans when something unexpected happens, I get annoyed easily, I hate loud noises (they make me tired and a bit anxious) and a few more
Click to expand...

Good. This is what you need to mention to your parents when they ask you to elaborate.
 
That's a really thoughtful question as a minor.

I can only offer one bit of pragmatic advice. That time and patience can be your friend in a quest for self-awareness of one's autism. Use it. Learn everything you can about it. And freely interact with others here to give you greater perspective. I've been on this "voyage of self-discovery" literally for years. Lots to learn.

At some point in the reasonable future it will be your decision and yours alone. When your parents will no longer be legally or exclusively part of the equation.

Always keeping in mind that telling others of your possible neurodiversity should be on a "need-to-know" basis only.
 
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Judge said:
That's a really thoughtful question as a minor.

I can only offer one bit of pragmatic advice. That time and patience can be your friend in a quest for self-awareness of one's autism. Use it. Learn everything you can about it. And freely interact with others here to give you greater perspective.

At some point in the reasonable future it will be your decision and yours alone. When your parents will no longer be legally or exclusively part of the equation.
Click to expand...

Okey, thanks for your help and advice
 
Judge said:
That's a really thoughtful question as a minor.

I can only offer one bit of pragmatic advice. That time and patience can be your friend in a quest for self-awareness of one's autism. Use it. Learn everything you can about it. And freely interact with others here to give you greater perspective. I've been on this "voyage of self-discovery" literally for years. Lots to learn.

At some point in the reasonable future it will be your decision and yours alone. When your parents will no longer be legally or exclusively part of the equation.

Always keeping in mind that telling others of your possible neurodiversity should be on a "need-to-know" basis only.
Click to expand...

There are some Information below your comment written in grey, where did you get These scores from?
 
There are lots of tests regarding Autism Spectrum Disorder out there. Here are just a few:

Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen's "Autism-Quotient Test: The AQ-test; The Autism Spectrum Quotient

Ritvo Autism Asperger's Diagnostic Scale Test: The Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale-Revised (RAADS-R)

Yale-Brown Obsessive Compulsive Scale: Yale-Brown Obsessive Compulsive Scale

Just keep perspective though that these are tools. Not objective diagnostics to substitute in the absence of professional medical evaluation. To help you, but not be definitive that you either have or don't have a form of autism or other comorbid conditions.
 
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Welcome :)

I hope you are able to talk to your parents about this, and maybe get a diagnosis.
 
Do you have a school counselor you can go to? They might be able to be an ear to listen and give you some good advice--only if you're comfortable with that.

I'm 32 and was terrified to tell my dad. My sister told him well before I was anywhere near ready and it didn't go so well. Thankfully I don't live with him anymore.

I agree with much of what Judge said. Give it time and learn.
 
LittleLemon said:
Do you have a school counselor you can go to? They might be able to be an ear to listen and give you some good advice--only if you're comfortable with that.

I'm 32 and was terrified to tell my dad. My sister told him well before I was anywhere near ready and it didn't go so well. Thankfully I don't live with him anymore.

I agree with much of what Judge said. Give it time and learn.
Click to expand...

No we don't have one at my school. It's not that I'm scared of my parents,I'm scared of what they will say and what will happen after that and all this. I'm sorry to hear that :(
 
Snow Guardian said:
I´m scared of talking to someone about it because I might not get understood or that I could get told that I´m overreacting with the whole Situation and just imagine it.
Click to expand...

There have been occasions in my life when my deepest concerns and fears have been brushed aside by others. It happens, and that hurts.

Thankfully, there have been occasions where my deepest concerns and fears haven't been brushed aside others, times when people went out of their way to accept, support, and love me, even when I wasn't really aware that I needed it. It happens, and it is wonderful.

You're carrying a heavy load; my heart goes out to you. I hope you find a way so that you don't have to do it alone for much longer...
 
My mom read a book about female aspies when I was 39 and that's when she finally started to get it. She recognized me all the way through the book. I was diagnosed at 27 but until she started reading about it aspergers meant very little to her. Wish she could have had that information about 20 years earlier.
Unless your parents are going to be abusive, my advice (though it could be bad advice) is tell them and let them read some stuff. Perhaps they will react like my mom. If my mom had known and understood before I was an adult I might have had a much better relationship with her. Those are decades I wish I could have a second chance at. She's in her 80's now and it's sad thinking about all the time we lost.
 
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