BumblebeeMaiden
Active Member
I have gone over this post and deleted it a few times. I don't know what to say. If it sounds stupid please forgive me. This is all new to me.
I am in my early 30's I am a mom of a 3 year old with autism(still awaiting a technical DX but it is very obvious to me and the medicals professionals that know him.)
I am I guess self Dx'd with some form of ASD. I have been to therapists and psychiatrists since early childhood and was always told something was wrong but no one was ever sure...I got told and my mother got told I was probably ADHD with social anxiety. Also OCD. (partly because I lined things up and organized by size and color)
As a child I would pull out my hair and eyelashes, I would hit my head on things or with my own fists(I still have moments when I hit my head with my hands but I have tried very hard to learn how to handle things without getting to that point),I have had meltdowns as a child and it was always just assumed by others I was trowing a fit and being a brat but looking back an knowing how it felt I realize it was not the same thing as a normal tantrum,
I have had a few meltdowns as a young adult about 12 years ago my mother had me trapped in her car yelling at me and waiving her hands right in my face. I lost it. I don't remember things like a normal memory. I know it happened but it felt out of my control like it was not me. I punched her in the arm and reached across the car to unlock my door and got out and walked almost 4 miles to my house. I remember almost nothing from the walk. I am NOT a violent person. I have not done anything violent like that before.
I have spent my whole life feeling like everyone was in a joke I just did not get, like everyone else knew a big secret I was totally and painfully unaware of. As I grew up and became an adult I felt like everyone else was what an adult should be but I was still stuck in some sort of non adult state. I am very intelligent but socially I was not at the same place as others. However I was good at watching others and I could fake it enough that on the surface you could not tell I was anything but maybe shy... At one point in collage I tried so hard to be social that I ended up going from a 4. GPA to failing every class. Being social and talking to people everyday took every bit of energy I had. High School was a whole other thing that I am sure I will get to in a post on the forum at some point.
At this point I am just going to list randomly some of the things that make me think I have some form of ASD.
I have always been told I am too analytical or too logical. I actually thought Spock was my father as a young child.
I have an almost uncontrollable need to tell people when they are using inaccurate information, I have some misguided idea that people would like to know the truth and not look stupid. Silly me.
I would spin for hours as a child. Either by myself or on a computer chair or anything else that spins.
I rocked as a child, I still catch myself doing it lightly now.
I apparently don't get a lot of social things.
I often miss when something is sarcastic and I try to be sarcastic but others do not seem to ever realize, they think I am serious.
I have what has been called obsessive likes or interests. I tend to get stuck on a subject(a special interest) and have a hard time changing the topic on my own...and sometimes when the other person I still go back to it(I did this more when I was a child.)
I often do not know how to talk to other girls.
I have an issue noticing other people and things around me spatially I tend to bump in to people and things often. I also just do not notice people at all if they are around me in the stores and wanting to get by or if I am walking through the door I don't know they are there and don't hold the door. I often get accused by my family of being rude or uncaring of others because of this. )
I have always had sensory issues to name just a few. I get physically sick to my stomach and my whole body hurts when I hear certain pitches...like nails down a chalkboard or other types of high pitched sounds. Far beyond other peoples normal reactions, I can not handle temperatures above 75%, I have issues with seems and tags on cloths. It actually hurts to the point I have made myself bleed as a child trying to get the feeling to go away(now I cut them out or buy things that feel comfortable), I get vertigo at odd times. I will just feel like the world has fallen out from under me for no reason, I was and still often am a toe walker(not sure if that is sensory),I get overwhelmed with to many people talking or talking too loudly,I can not handle silence, I can not eat some things based on texture, when people touch me lightly I want to hit them it drives me crazy and hurts.
This is just a tiny bit. but I am sure you all know the signs and issues and I am sure I will get to more in time through "normal" conversations.
I am in my early 30's I am a mom of a 3 year old with autism(still awaiting a technical DX but it is very obvious to me and the medicals professionals that know him.)
I am I guess self Dx'd with some form of ASD. I have been to therapists and psychiatrists since early childhood and was always told something was wrong but no one was ever sure...I got told and my mother got told I was probably ADHD with social anxiety. Also OCD. (partly because I lined things up and organized by size and color)
As a child I would pull out my hair and eyelashes, I would hit my head on things or with my own fists(I still have moments when I hit my head with my hands but I have tried very hard to learn how to handle things without getting to that point),I have had meltdowns as a child and it was always just assumed by others I was trowing a fit and being a brat but looking back an knowing how it felt I realize it was not the same thing as a normal tantrum,
I have had a few meltdowns as a young adult about 12 years ago my mother had me trapped in her car yelling at me and waiving her hands right in my face. I lost it. I don't remember things like a normal memory. I know it happened but it felt out of my control like it was not me. I punched her in the arm and reached across the car to unlock my door and got out and walked almost 4 miles to my house. I remember almost nothing from the walk. I am NOT a violent person. I have not done anything violent like that before.
I have spent my whole life feeling like everyone was in a joke I just did not get, like everyone else knew a big secret I was totally and painfully unaware of. As I grew up and became an adult I felt like everyone else was what an adult should be but I was still stuck in some sort of non adult state. I am very intelligent but socially I was not at the same place as others. However I was good at watching others and I could fake it enough that on the surface you could not tell I was anything but maybe shy... At one point in collage I tried so hard to be social that I ended up going from a 4. GPA to failing every class. Being social and talking to people everyday took every bit of energy I had. High School was a whole other thing that I am sure I will get to in a post on the forum at some point.
At this point I am just going to list randomly some of the things that make me think I have some form of ASD.
I have always been told I am too analytical or too logical. I actually thought Spock was my father as a young child.
I have an almost uncontrollable need to tell people when they are using inaccurate information, I have some misguided idea that people would like to know the truth and not look stupid. Silly me.
I would spin for hours as a child. Either by myself or on a computer chair or anything else that spins.
I rocked as a child, I still catch myself doing it lightly now.
I apparently don't get a lot of social things.
I often miss when something is sarcastic and I try to be sarcastic but others do not seem to ever realize, they think I am serious.
I have what has been called obsessive likes or interests. I tend to get stuck on a subject(a special interest) and have a hard time changing the topic on my own...and sometimes when the other person I still go back to it(I did this more when I was a child.)
I often do not know how to talk to other girls.
I have an issue noticing other people and things around me spatially I tend to bump in to people and things often. I also just do not notice people at all if they are around me in the stores and wanting to get by or if I am walking through the door I don't know they are there and don't hold the door. I often get accused by my family of being rude or uncaring of others because of this. )
I have always had sensory issues to name just a few. I get physically sick to my stomach and my whole body hurts when I hear certain pitches...like nails down a chalkboard or other types of high pitched sounds. Far beyond other peoples normal reactions, I can not handle temperatures above 75%, I have issues with seems and tags on cloths. It actually hurts to the point I have made myself bleed as a child trying to get the feeling to go away(now I cut them out or buy things that feel comfortable), I get vertigo at odd times. I will just feel like the world has fallen out from under me for no reason, I was and still often am a toe walker(not sure if that is sensory),I get overwhelmed with to many people talking or talking too loudly,I can not handle silence, I can not eat some things based on texture, when people touch me lightly I want to hit them it drives me crazy and hurts.
This is just a tiny bit. but I am sure you all know the signs and issues and I am sure I will get to more in time through "normal" conversations.
