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New to the forums, so hi I guess

L

loncohen13

Active Member
Hi all.
My name is Lon, a 41 year old male with Aspergers. Ive had the diagnosis for about a year. The diagnosis was suggested by my wife who was right about it. Unfortunately it came 15 years after we got married. So she has been putting up with so much behavior that I can now see was not right, but at the time I knew no different. Its done so much damage and caused her so much pain. So much that she is leaving the marriage now. I cant say I blame her. Im trying to find people to talk to about self acceptance, of how to live with the knowledge that no matter if I meant it or not, I caused someone I cared about so much pain. How do you get through it, how do you try and keep any semblance of self esteem. Sorry to dump so much on an introduction.
Hope to hear from anyone.
 
Welcome aboard! :)
I was also diagnosed late-ish (33), after 9-10 years of marriage, on my wife's mention of the subject. This is an awesome community with many friendly folks. Best wishes.
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That's unfortunate... You haven't really done anything wrong. You didn't know any better and you weren't purposely trying to hurt her, so don't be too hard on yourself. I hope you're given a chance to fix things
 
Relationships can be tricky for anyone, even more so when you are wired differently. I've never been married, but looking back I can see how some of my behavior would be percieved as unloving or cold. Live and learn, I suppose.

I hope you can come to forgive yourself and grow from your mistakes.
 
I hear in your words so much of the pain that has plagued my father for years-so many times he couldn't be the one my mother needed, the one who could fix things and be romantic and say the right things at the right time only to fail time, time and time again.

It speaks volumes about you that you care so much and that you have reached out. I am so sorry that you have lost one that you have loved so deeply, please keep trying and don't give up hope in the future!
 
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