New to the group (mom of 7 year old newly diagnosed boy with asperger) rant not sure?

[furiouskitten82]

Before I begin, please understand he?s been diagnosed with Asperger?s Syndrome less then 3 months ago and he?s really really well behaved. We?re still learning about it and how to help him. He has been on Zoloft since his diagnosis and literally started taking Focalin (only 5mg) that morning, about 3 hours prior to this episode. So his doctor is fairly certain it wasn?t the cause.

This is certainly not the first time he's expressed anger or frustration (not banging his head though) by telling me or shaking or holding his head. Nothing ever violent, but you can definitely tell he's quite upset. Unfortunately I'm generally the only one who sees this side of him and my family members tend to look at me like I'm nuts or freak out when this event happened...that would Grandma she's super concerned and apparently annoyed that I would allow him to "obsess" on this sort of topic....like I frigging have a choice what and when he decides to become dedicated to learning everything there is about something. Don't get me wrong I get that this isn't a topic for class, but now I guess I'm suppose to remove an entire portion of our lifestyle and something we as a family enjoy because it makes other people comfortable. Sorry I know I'm wrong, just venting a little. Anyway his nurse called yesterday morning and this is the story. What do you think?

Apparently my little man had a complete breakdown in school. He became so angry after a fellow student told him that ghosts weren?t real. The story behind this event: My son had raised his hand after the teacher asked if they?d like to share anything, and he proceeded to tell the class about the haunted theater at which the annual Zombie Walk begins. A 3 mile walk event my young family thoroughly enjoys every year. It?s around Halloween?thus the Zombie theme! Anywho. He is heavily obsessed with ghosts right now (a subject I don?t think to be inappropriate, but not okay for class) and wanted to share something that excited him with the class. His teacher calm and politely told him that she was afraid of zombies and ghosts so he could change the topic. He was fine with that and the teacher began to read a story to them. Apparently the kid next to him then decided to tell him that ghosts weren?t real and apparently that pissed him off?a lot! He didn?t lash out, but he began convulsing (not like a seizure, just shaking) with ?anger? and well it continued along with him taking a walk to calm down (by himself) and banging his on the floor while walking to the water fountain. He walked outside with the principal for a bit to try to calm down and went to talk with the councilor. Things of this nature for about an hour before they finally called me.

Now when I got there he was perfectly calm sitting in the nurse?s office! I spoke with the nurse, the counselor, and his teacher privately. According to them he wanted to leave class because ?he couldn?t contain his anger and needed to be away from people, he thought he may do something he knew was wrong?. Okay now first, know my son is really one of kids that never hits or bullies anyone besides his little sister. Sibling rivalry is always going to be there. So now he?s not allowed back in school (with like 9 days left) until he?s seen his neurologist and has a note saying he?s not going to hurt himself or anyone else. Really, he?s 7 and one of the best behaved and tempered children in his class.

So anyway. I brought him home and we had a little chat before calling his neurologist?so I could get his take on the story! He?s saying the kids were laughing at him (the kids were listening to a funny book the teacher was reading), that the lights were bothering his eyes, and the noise from the classroom and the hallway were distracting him, and that having his story be dismissed by the teacher upset him, and then when the other boy made fun of him and said that ghosts weren?t real that made him too angry to control himself anymore. Poor little guy was almost shaking retelling his story. I calmed him done and then called his neurologist. I spoke with her nurse and she says that my son likely was experiencing sensory overload causing him genuine pain which set him off. She said the new medicine was not a likely culprit. We made him an appointment for Monday (the kid will now miss 5 days of school) to see his neurologist.

So he?s on day two of the Focalin and at home. He?s done a bit of schoolwork and read a book. He?s watched a bit of TV and is learning everything possible about Skylanders and ate lunch. He?s now outside devouring watermelon and playing happily outside with his sister. He?s absolutely fine today, no issues at all. He wasn?t happy about doing schoolwork?but he never is. I have no idea. I?m constantly told that he?s not going to grow out of Aspergers, rather he?ll grow into it. I guess it?s just part of the reason I?m fighting to get him into Special Education next year and taking on teaching him to read and his basic skills myself over the summer. It?s very frustrating.

 

[Bay]

Re: New to the group (mom of 7 year old newly diagnosed boy with asperger) rant not s

Hi Furiouskitten82. In spite of his recent issue at school, your boy sounds like a sweet and very intelligent child. Welcome!

 

[ladydragon]

Re: New to the group (mom of 7 year old newly diagnosed boy with asperger) rant not s

Hello..

They told me the same thing. Both myself and my son have Asperger?s. I have been on anti depressants and also they have tried them with my son. My son is an extrovert, happy, friendly, wants to be in the lime light and tell everyone all his stories and ask a billion questions(many people are surprised if they learn he has AS, though they don't live with us so what do they know). They tried a couple antidepressants for him that was also supposed to help with ticks, and he became someone else completely, he was hitting and biting and swearing and being nasty to everyone. That is not his normal personality at all. So to side with you the drugs that are supposed to help sometimes cause worse problems. I know that when I have tried antidepressants for depression and anxiety they always make me feel tired, and dizzy and what happens when people feel tired, at least for my son, he gets cranky and grouchy, imagine having a drug that makes you tired and possibly a bit dizzy continually, you may get nasty and uncharacteristically mean too.

 

[Arashi222]

Re: New to the group (mom of 7 year old newly diagnosed boy with asperger) rant not s

Welcome to the forums. You're son does sound like Bay said a delightful boy who was just trying to do the right thing and remove himself from a situation where he deemed it unsafe for him. I still react the way your son did. I agree that it might still be wise to check on his medication, because for some it does change their personalities. See how much is the medication actually helping vs. his need to stay calm and be in control at school. Poor little guy. I hope things get better been there done that in school with kids laughing at me over my obsessions it sucks. At least he has his family to help him through this hard time. Well he is not a alone.

 

[marraco]

Re: New to the group (mom of 7 year old newly diagnosed boy with asperger) rant not s

Before I begin, please understand he?s been diagnosed with Asperger?s Syndrome less then 3 months ago and he?s really really well behaved. We?re still learning about it and how to help him. He has been on Zoloft since his diagnosis and literally started taking Focalin (only 5mg) that morning, about 3 hours prior to this episode. So his doctor is fairly certain it wasn?t the cause.

This is certainly not the first time he's expressed anger or frustration (not banging his head though) by telling me or shaking or holding his head. Nothing ever violent, but you can definitely tell he's quite upset. Unfortunately I'm generally the only one who sees this side of him and my family members tend to look at me like I'm nuts or freak out when this event happened...that would Grandma she's super concerned and apparently annoyed that I would allow him to "obsess" on this sort of topic....like I frigging have a choice what and when he decides to become dedicated to learning everything there is about something. Don't get me wrong I get that this isn't a topic for class, but now I guess I'm suppose to remove an entire portion of our lifestyle and something we as a family enjoy because it makes other people comfortable. Sorry I know I'm wrong, just venting a little. Anyway his nurse called yesterday morning and this is the story. What do you think?

Apparently my little man had a complete breakdown in school. He became so angry after a fellow student told him that ghosts weren?t real. The story behind this event: My son had raised his hand after the teacher asked if they?d like to share anything, and he proceeded to tell the class about the haunted theater at which the annual Zombie Walk begins. A 3 mile walk event my young family thoroughly enjoys every year. It?s around Halloween?thus the Zombie theme! Anywho. He is heavily obsessed with ghosts right now (a subject I don?t think to be inappropriate, but not okay for class) and wanted to share something that excited him with the class. His teacher calm and politely told him that she was afraid of zombies and ghosts so he could change the topic. He was fine with that and the teacher began to read a story to them. Apparently the kid next to him then decided to tell him that ghosts weren?t real and apparently that pissed him off?a lot! He didn?t lash out, but he began convulsing (not like a seizure, just shaking) with ?anger? and well it continued along with him taking a walk to calm down (by himself) and banging his on the floor while walking to the water fountain. He walked outside with the principal for a bit to try to calm down and went to talk with the councilor. Things of this nature for about an hour before they finally called me.

Now when I got there he was perfectly calm sitting in the nurse?s office! I spoke with the nurse, the counselor, and his teacher privately. According to them he wanted to leave class because ?he couldn?t contain his anger and needed to be away from people, he thought he may do something he knew was wrong?. Okay now first, know my son is really one of kids that never hits or bullies anyone besides his little sister. Sibling rivalry is always going to be there. So now he?s not allowed back in school (with like 9 days left) until he?s seen his neurologist and has a note saying he?s not going to hurt himself or anyone else. Really, he?s 7 and one of the best behaved and tempered children in his class.

So anyway. I brought him home and we had a little chat before calling his neurologist?so I could get his take on the story! He?s saying the kids were laughing at him (the kids were listening to a funny book the teacher was reading), that the lights were bothering his eyes, and the noise from the classroom and the hallway were distracting him, and that having his story be dismissed by the teacher upset him, and then when the other boy made fun of him and said that ghosts weren?t real that made him too angry to control himself anymore. Poor little guy was almost shaking retelling his story. I calmed him done and then called his neurologist. I spoke with her nurse and she says that my son likely was experiencing sensory overload causing him genuine pain which set him off. She said the new medicine was not a likely culprit. We made him an appointment for Monday (the kid will now miss 5 days of school) to see his neurologist.

So he?s on day two of the Focalin and at home. He?s done a bit of schoolwork and read a book. He?s watched a bit of TV and is learning everything possible about Skylanders and ate lunch. He?s now outside devouring watermelon and playing happily outside with his sister. He?s absolutely fine today, no issues at all. He wasn?t happy about doing schoolwork?but he never is. I have no idea. I?m constantly told that he?s not going to grow out of Aspergers, rather he?ll grow into it. I guess it?s just part of the reason I?m fighting to get him into Special Education next year and taking on teaching him to read and his basic skills myself over the summer. It?s very frustrating.

Zoloft may cause convulsions as lateral effect. I started having convulsions after I was medicated with Zoloft, and they remained for a long time (somewhat like a year) after I stopped taking it.

I also lose control of my body when I open myself to others. I think that I have a shock of adrenaline, because my body starts to tremble, and I lose control of my voice.

Is normal for an aspie to be bothered by lights, and sounds. I guess that he was bothered all of his life, but only now he understood that it was not normal, not his guilt and he just wants to be more ?open? to be understood. I?m not sure if that is the case with your boy, but it makes sense to me.
May be very important to him to understand that these problems are not his guilt, not his fault, but that is not a free card to "misbehave".

Is not good at all if other children make fun of him.

On other side, I advice to you to not try to isolate your toddler from society. As Temple Grandin says, social contact may be hard, but being exposed to it is the only way to learn to cope with it.

Is not fun to be laughed at, but the best answer is not to take it as enmity, because it only leads to more enmity and resentment for everybody. The best way I manage it is acting as if it is just friendly teasing. It reframes the mind of the people laughing. Is important to have an authoritative voice without sounding presumptuous, and add to it a subtle flavor of tenderness. Acknowledging the own flaws meanwhile not giving too much importance may be disarming to the pranksters. But acting defensive tends to increase the hostility levels of the pranksters.
I don?t know how you can teach that to a boy. Lots of neuro typical adults never learn that.


On other side, Aspies tend to take things more literally. Your son may not understand well the difference between a ghost, and a costume. I do not say that he thinks that ghost exist, but just that he call these costumes ?ghosts?, so they really exist, and somebody saying that they do not exist makes no sense. It may look like a lie, and be perceived as hostility. Perceived hostility may be scary.
I would explain to your boy that real ghost really do not exist. Also zombies, vampires and other fantastic creatures. But also explain that these people in costumes in fact do exist. Movies are also not real (mostly), except documentaries, tv news, and other. Somebody on the autistic spectrum may take longer than a ?normal? to understand it, but it does not mean that is less intelligent.