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Birdy_B

Birdy_B

New Member
Hi, everyone,
I'm really glad I found this forum, I've been struggling. My mental health therapist of almost 4 years recently suggested I get tested to see if I'm on the spectrum, she also suggested I do testing for ADHD. I'm 35 years old, and this really blindsided me. She shared with me she's 99% certain I'm on the spectrum. I can relate to a lot of what people are sharing on this forum and I think she may be right. I've been ruminating on all this since she brought this up and feel really alone in it all. I've talked 4 of my friends, they are kind, but also don't really know what to do or say. I'm going to get tested early next year, but it's been quite distressing in this waiting time. For whatever reason I need that official diagnosis before I can begin to accept and explore this.

Thank you for your time.
 
Welcome @Birdy_B . I hope you stop feeling distressed. You are the same person you were before learning this. I was 60 before finding out, and while it explained much, it just showed that work I did to be more mature socially at a much younger age, means I was not my ASD. Do not let ASD define you. It has impacted you in ways that you will understand, but how you persevered is how you define yourself.
 
Welcome! You'll find that with a very diverse crowd here we've collectively had many overlapping experiences - and there's lots of neat info whether you wish to go through older / existing threads, or start a new one :-)
 
Birdy_B said:
For whatever reason I need that official diagnosis before I can begin to accept and explore this.
Click to expand...

First of all, let me welcome to the forum. I was in my forties before I knew there was something called Asperger's Syndrome. Acceptance of who I was happened long before that. I was in therapy a number of times, but I was always distrustful and combative in my interactions, so it did not do anything for me except lighten my pocketbook. ;)

You have already explored a bit, by coming on this site and reading a bit, so I do not quite understand why you would not research a bit more. Are you afraid of tainting the interview by familiarizing yourself? The thing is that the spectrum is very wide and diverse in how each of us presents to the world. @Gerald Wilgus is spot on.

The diagnosis is just some scribbling on a piece of paper and has no more weight than what you assign to it. It can come in handy because the NT world seems to think it is always a disability. It is nothing more than what you make of it and that comes down to 2 things i.e. self-confidence and self-acceptance.

We can alter things about ourselves! I certainly have changed a great deal from my 30s. A life is not stagnant, every day is new and full of things that we mostly ignore out of familiarity. Thing is, that can lead to missing some things that can instruct and illuminate.

Be kind to yourself, even when others can't supply it. You deserve that, but when others fail you, then don't dwell; give yourself a mental hug and take your mind off it any way you can.

Rumination leads to nothing constructive, just lost sleep and obsession.:blush:
 
welcome to af.png
 
@Birdy_B,

Welcome!

I fingured out just this year that I am probably on the spectrum. I am 54. This is good news to me because it means that I am not mentaly ill or have a cluster b diagnosis. In fact, a.s.d. simply means I have a lot of answers about all those things that have been so hard for me.

Knowing you might be a.s.d. gives you knowledge that you can use to improve your life and tons of people who can offer support and sugestions to get there.
 
Hi, and Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay here in the process! :)
 
Hi, everyone,
Thank you so much for sharing your experience... and thank you for your kindness. It's nice to hear your experiences and stories. I've been reading a lot more lately, it's been normalizing and, simultaneously, has spawned more questions.
I've been diagnosed with many things along the way: GAD, BPD, depression... and more things I don't even know. Being on the spectrum makes so much more sense to me! I never related to the BPD dx and, frankly, it infuriated me.
Anyways, I'll keep reading and reaching out to folks. :)
Thank you so much for being out there... I feel less alone in this exploration.
 
HI and Welcome @Birdy_B

My daughter has been diagnosed with BPD but is now pursuing a dx of autism. It seems to be par for the course for females that the diagnostic is slow and difficult
 
Hi, @Alexej
I’ve also been diagnosed with BPD - it never quite fit and is horribly stigmatized - I had many thoughts and feelings when I learned of this diagnosis. *sigh*
ASD makes so much more sense for my journey.

If it seems appropriate, please send mg good wishes and thoughtful thoughts to your daughter. :)
 
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