Newbie Question

[God’s Girl]

Hello - this is super scary for me. I have never read or posted anything online - and you are strangers! So out of my comfort zone but I feel like I need someone who understands. I Hope I’m doing this correctly!

I am almost 65, live in rural Alaska, and recently figured out that I have many, many, many, unbelievably many symptoms of ASD. This came about through serious marital issues with my husband of 43 years. Autism at some level answers so many questions and has completely turned our relationship around in a wonderful way. I scheduled an appointment to be tested but they are booked out until the end of summer and I’m at some big number on a waiting list. Not being diagnosed leaves me feeling like I can’t even do autism right. Found this site in a Google search and wondered if anyone out there has an encouraging word, has a sense of how important a diagnosis is, and is it cheating to think of myself as autistic without a doctor confirming it?

If anyone reads this, thank you and if you reply, hopefully I can figure out how to find your words.

 

[Lysholm]

It's not cheating to self-diagnose. An official diagnosis doesn't mean much anyhow, as in the U.S. it's not a disability by itself. Autism needs other "disorders" with it to qualify as a disability. A diagnosis will largely be for your own benefit.

And don't worry about doing autism "correctly" as there is no such thing.

By the way, if you've really never been in an online forum before, you will come across lots of acronyms, shorthand, and other eccentricities of online communication. Don't be afraid to ask questions about things you don't understand and, if you feel someone is being mean or unfair, don't be afraid to ask someone to clarify their intent. It's too easy to misinterpret online communications if you aren't used to it. If you do find someone is legit upset with you, that's just one person and they don't represent the opinions of the whole internet.

 

[tree]

 

[Nitro]

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

If enough evidence shows you are chances, are you are, this is the basis of science. Can you falsify the evidence. I never got diagnosed, however I live my life as if I am on the spectrum and so far, I have been unable to falsify the strong evidence I am on the spectrum?

 

[Nervous Rex]

Welcome, @God’s Girl. I hope you find this forum as welcoming and helpful as I have.

It's not cheating to think you're autistic without a formal diagnosis. It's like a head start in understanding yourself.

As for the importance of a diagnosis, I just wrote about my diagnosis experience in another thread:
Autism Forums's, There's no cure, doctor's don't care so what's the point? (The title is from someone else asking about a diagnosis, and is not the point I want to make. You'll have to scroll down to find my replies in Post#21).

 

[Alexej]

If anyone reads this, thank you and if you reply, hopefully I can figure out how to find your words.

HI @God’s Girl
Hi and Welcome

A good place to start while waiting for the diagnosis is to dive into the Forums and look for threads on topics that you are interested in.
Some of the threads will connect, and some wont - but that is fine. We are all different, but perhaps this will validate your experience.

 

[Ken]

Hello - this is super scary for me. I have never read or posted anything online - and you are strangers! So out of my comfort zone but I feel like I need someone who understands. I Hope I’m doing this correctly!

I am almost 65, live in rural Alaska, and recently figured out that I have many, many, many, unbelievably many symptoms of ASD. This came about through serious marital issues with my husband of 43 years. Autism at some level answers so many questions and has completely turned our relationship around in a wonderful way. I scheduled an appointment to be tested but they are booked out until the end of summer and I’m at some big number on a waiting list. Not being diagnosed leaves me feeling like I can’t even do autism right. Found this site in a Google search and wondered if anyone out there has an encouraging word, has a sense of how important a diagnosis is, and is it cheating to think of myself as autistic without a doctor confirming it?

If anyone reads this, thank you and if you reply, hopefully I can figure out how to find your words.

Welcome to the forum. Don't worry - you'll fit right in. We are all in that same boat.

Don't worry about doing autism correctly. You really can't do it wrong. Being yourself IS doing it correctly.

Definitely not cheating. Self-diagnosis is absolutely valid. No one knows you better than you. No doctor or any professional can know you more than you. I consider myself to be officially self-diagnosed. Upon learning what autism is, I realized that I was autistic - absolutely no doubt about it. For example: If you were to fall and experience extreme pain in your leg and then notice that your leg is bent between the ankle and knee, you don't need a doctors official diagnosis to tell you that your leg is broke. It is just too obvious. My autism is broken leg level obvious. No doctor needed.

Learning I am autistic was a revelation. It was so revealing to learn why my life has been so difficult. Now, I'm actually proud and happy to be autistic. My life struggles and miseries now have meaning. It is so revealing and uplifting just to understand.

I wish you well and hope you gain hope and inspiration here.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

Hello - this is super scary for me. I have never read or posted anything online - and you are strangers! So out of my comfort zone but I feel like I need someone who understands. I Hope I’m doing this correctly!

I am almost 65, live in rural Alaska, and recently figured out that I have many, many, many, unbelievably many symptoms of ASD. This came about through serious marital issues with my husband of 43 years. Autism at some level answers so many questions and has completely turned our relationship around in a wonderful way. I scheduled an appointment to be tested but they are booked out until the end of summer and I’m at some big number on a waiting list. Not being diagnosed leaves me feeling like I can’t even do autism right. Found this site in a Google search and wondered if anyone out there has an encouraging word, has a sense of how important a diagnosis is, and is it cheating to think of myself as autistic without a doctor confirming it?

If anyone reads this, thank you and if you reply, hopefully I can figure out how to find your words.

I understand your words---and your fear, as well. I too was on the fence of not thinking a self-diagnosis as being 'valid.' But the more I've learned, the more I've realized that many can't afford a diagnosis, and why pay money for something they already know internally?

I was fortunate enough to recently get tested and, lo and behold, I have autism. I'll say there's a certain comfort to having my thoughts listened to and understood and analyzed. Some part of me would have been stingy to gaslight myself into not thinking I have autism until I got diagnosed. But I was also afraid: what if I just had the symptoms but wasn't actually autistic? Unsure if anyone else can relate to my thoughts here.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

If it quacks like a duck walk like a duck, need more be said.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome! If resources, like support groups, are limited in AK, take a look to see what may be available in BC and WA as well - with some groups being online, physical location may not be an issue

 

[mysterionz]

Hi there I am Erika.

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome. Yes I beyond a certain point, I don't think self diagnosis is rocket science, the evidence piles up, plus the diagnosis makes sense of internal aspects of our experience we may have been puzzling over and trying to work on all our lives, I know I was.

 

[Shevek]

When I read a list of AS symptoms at age 56, I was actually doing a search on my mother's symptoms for my sister. I'd been going to meetings for survivors of dysfunctional families for many years, and suddenly, both her life and mine made sense. Nobody has asked for proof, because it makes sense for others as well if they know a bit of my history.

 

[Crossbreed]

Hello & welcome @God’s Girl.
https://autlanders.blogspot.com/2019/07/finding-support-resources-in-usa.html

As for the importance of a diagnosis, I just wrote about my diagnosis experience in another thread:
Autism Forums's, There's no cure, doctor's don't care so what's the point? (The title is from someone else asking about a diagnosis, and is not the point I want to make. You'll have to scroll down to find my replies in Post#21).

HERE is a direct link to said post...

 

[God’s Girl]

Oh my goodness! I feel so embraced and so hopeful and so relieved. I walk like a duck, I quack like a duck and I’m overjoyed to know I AM a duck! Thank you to each one of you - no longer strangers. I can’t tell you in words how grateful I am but I hope you feel it in your hearts. Very anxious to take the RAADS test - I found it online and will take it in the morning. Acronyms confuse the heck out of me and my normal reaction is to pretend I understand -never being vulnerable enough to ask and risk myself. Thank you for the special encouragement to not be afraid. I’m very excited to read the post on this topic. Wow - you’ll be seeing more of me.

 

[Streetwise]

been diagnosed 7 and half years still keeping thinking its not completely accurate,God showed me an open vision 23 years ago,but me being me, its swirling around in there

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I hate acronyms.

 

[Rodafina]

Hello and welcome! I can only imagine you have some very interesting stories from living in rural Alaska! To you it is likely just day today, but I think it is fascinating that you live in such a remote place and would be very excited to hear more about it.

 

[Storm Hess]

Hello.