Newbie ..So hi!

[SammiArielle]

So hi..Im sammie..Im new on here, I was diagnosed with aspergers when i was..i cant remember..16-17 somewhere around there i think. Im not great at actually introducing myself...and im not sure what im actually supposed to say. Im pretty bad with social situations in real life, and just a little better witht them online..But i Tend to take something with me in real life that helps me, we have tried to get a service dog, and looked into it but everyone says i dont qualify for one..i think i do however. But since we cant seem to get me one...i take my reborn doll with me pretty much everywhere i go, and if you dont know reborns are dolls that are hand painted and everything to look extremely lifelike. lots of people colect them, i have one now and one on the way, but having her with me makes me feel a little better with everyone around,but sometimes i still have issues. and i hate to leave without her, ive had a few melt downs when ive had to go with my mom and her friend(her friend wont ALLOW me to bring alexa along because she doesnt like her,even though she helps me) or when ive thought maybe i should leave her home, i tend to get a bit out the door and have a melt down and have to run back and get her and get her in her car seat before we leave or i keep crying and stuff. i only have a few friends in rl, and only 2 where i live and one somewhere else, and the one somewhere else does not like alexa either, she thinks im too old to play with dolls, and i try to explain how she helps and she says i need to grow up, but my other 2 friends dont seem to mind me taking her with..or at least they dont say they dont like it if they have a problem.

Im not sure if its just me, but ive read somewhere that people with aspergers ten to act younger then they are, i most of the time would prefer to be coloring,or watching disney jr shows or other kid shows, and kid movies, or playing a game online for kids. Sometimes my mom says i talk like a baby but i never notice that. I watch certian shows every day at the same time, and i dont like to miss them, or when they change the show scheduale.

sometimes i want to buy toys(like barbies and stuff) but then i try to tell myself im this old and i dont need them..but i still want them.


i notice myself trying to be someone else, or make something my faveorite so im like someone else, or so they will like me because it is something they like, and sometimes i think i know what i like and then im not sure again, im not sure why i do it, its like my mind wont let me be myself, it wants me to be a bunch of otherpeople...but ive done that so long, picked other colors as my faves or other shows just so i can get someone to like me.

i have the biggest meltdowns when something angers me, ill tend to want to cry but switch it to anger, where i end up hitting walls or kicking things and bieng generaly..well..horrid towards everyone

sometimes i start to get like that if its crowded or too loud somewhere, i get grumpy and just wanna shove people out of the way. i sometimes will play music i like from disney shows or christmas music in my earphones to keep my mind off everyone.

i also have meltdowns when i see a bug in my house, infact just yesterday we were changing a light bulb and i took the cover down and a dead centipiede fell out and touched my hand, and i ran down the hall to wash my hands yelling ewewewewew but that evoloved into me crying and screaming all because it touched me. this happened last month as well when we found ants in the house, i was cleaning the house and picked up my cats food to put it back where its supposed to go and didnt even see but then i got bit and looked down and it was covred in black ants and i threw it out the door and ran into the living room and called my mom, crying and screaming loudly ,she had to come home from work to kill the ants and take me to my friends house for the rest of the day because i was to scared of the ants 2 rooms away from me. she found me sitting on a table in the living room crying.

im picky bout food, i wont eat anything if ive taken a bite and something had an odd taste i wont touch it anymore, if something i dont like touched it, i wont eat it because i can taste it on it, if it has something i dont like in it, i wont eat it. i like certian brands, and nothing but them. my water has to be in a water bottle from a case or i wont drink it, weve recently got me off of soda( since april!) and have gotten me to go from only spring water to bieng able to drink bottled purified water, where before id only drink arrowhead and nothing else.

ok, i dont know if this is how i was supposed to do this. but there it is..thats pretty much me and my aspergers..:wub:

 

[Explosition_Rooster]

Hey there new guy!

After reading through you're post, I can say that I have some of those things too. Don't like bugs on bit and I generally want to listen to my music when I go out into public.

Well, welcome and make yourself right at home.

 

[oscar2012]

you have made a start by being here hi and welcome

 

[Hadassah]

Hi Sammie!

I have many similarities with you. I freak out when I see a bug, especially if it's in my apartment. And don't even get me started with bees..

I'd love to buy Barbies and My Little Ponies.. My little sister has them and that helps a bit, lol. But there are these dolls even an adult could "get away with", called BJD's (ball jointed dolls) You should look into them. I'm getting my first one soon and can't wait to design her just the way I'd like her to be. I want to take her to places and take photographs, it will be so sweet. So yes, I act and seem younger too, and I'm 31, lol. I love kid's shows and cartoons also, I watch them all the time with my little sister, who's 11. With her I can sort of get away with it

I also tend to be like a chameleon, depending on the person/people I'm with. It was a long time I didn't really know who I was.. But I'm getting closer And I'm very picky with food too.. Don't like different foods to touch each other.. And I get grumpy in crowds, too. Sometimes my friends don't understand it, but some do. When I'm alone in crowds, I have to have my earphones and music, I freak out without it.

You seem sweet and I hope you enjoy being with us here on AC!

 

[SammiArielle]

Hi Sammie!

I have many similarities with you. I freak out when I see a bug, especially if it's in my apartment. And don't even get me started with bees..

I'd love to buy Barbies and My Little Ponies.. My little sister has them and that helps a bit, lol. But there are these dolls even an adult could "get away with", called BJD's (ball jointed dolls) You should look into them. I'm getting my first one soon and can't wait to design her just the way I'd like her to be. I want to take her to places and take photographs, it will be so sweet. So yes, I act and seem younger too, and I'm 31, lol. I love kid's shows and cartoons also, I watch them all the time with my little sister, who's 11. With her I can sort of get away with it

I also tend to be like a chameleon, depending on the person/people I'm with. It was a long time I didn't really know who I was.. But I'm getting closer And I'm very picky with food too.. Don't like different foods to touch each other.. And I get grumpy in crowds, too. Sometimes my friends don't understand it, but some do. When I'm alone in crowds, I have to have my earphones and music, I freak out without it.

You seem sweet and I hope you enjoy being with us here on AC!

Oh my gosh bees! I cant even! I see one of those and ill run screaming, im terrifed of them and wasps, ive never been stung and i have the goal of never ever getting stung, i cant even go swimming half the time because of the bees, i end up having to leave. a few weeks ago when we were waiting on someone to call us so we could pick up my new reborns bed (shes a toddler size :3, arianna kit!) we were sitting outside of goodwill and i was reading ivy and bean, and mom had the windows open (wich i absolutly hate, for this very reason!) and a bee flew right in my window and by me wich caused me to throw my book, jump as quick as i could from the front seat to the back seat and escape out the back door, and run to the other side of the parking lot. i refused to get back into the car until it was gone, mom even said she saw it leave but with having to get back in the car i was crying and screaming because i was scared it was still in there and i didnt wanna be in the car with it. im almost 21, so with toys, i see them, and i want to get them, all the barbie stuff,ponies, littlest petshop, but my issue is once i get them, i want to play with them, but i find myself, with i think ive lost my imagionation. with the barbie play sets i can set up a city of that stuff, all organized to perfection, everything where it should be and set up just right,(i have ocd) but when i try to play, i just cant, i dont know what to have them do, and i guess i feel a bit silly talking like they are talking.


Another issue i dont understand (is it just me and my brain that does this?) is i every week or few weeks, make this argument to my mom and i cant seem to stop myself "i need SOMETHING, im lonely, i want something to be with me all the time(wich i do,i think.) i want a mouse, i can carry its cage with em to every room and talk to it.i want a rat, i can handle it and it will be my friend. i want a bunny, i can watch it and play with it and it will entertain me. i want a dog, it will lay by me and i can pet it and talk to it and have a best friend. i want something with me all the time, i need something here with me (note:i have a cat,but shes kind of a loner,sits in her cat tree all the time wich is in my room but id prefer her be with me all the time.and i COULD get a kitten or two, mom would let me do that, but my cat hates other cats and would hide for the rest of her life. i have a bird, i got to have out with me all day, but he sits on the keyboard and only there and pecks me when i move him or type.) I want a toy to play with so ill be occupied and not be lonly all day. i do this every week-few weeks, i have gotten things before but they never seem to keep me company, and then they get old and die D:


And is it just me who has the worst time with decision making? I cant do it. i cant pick between multiple choises of food,drinks,things to buy,wich outfit to buy for my baby. i dont want to make the wrong decision and i never know wich is the right one, so i ask everyone else,and when they say this one or that one i reply with why and then ill either do that one or ask someone else then them, and say why tho their awnser. but me make a decision myself? nonono. wont happen. ill be there for hours. its been done.i go to pick a new game out at the store, wich one is better? wich one will i like more?wich one will keep me occupied? wich one will be more fun? what if i get it and dont like it?-then get the other one- what if i dont like that one either? cant i just get both?-no- well wich one should i get?-that one- why?-because i said so- no it has to be a reason -because it looks better- but what if i dont like it? -then just get the other one- But i kinda want that one...-then get this one- but i want the other one too..-get that one- but i like that one a little better -get this one- but this one has-enter something cool here- -get it then- But... ECT. thats what happens with everything. baby clothes, baby toys,ds/wii/computer games/shoes/food/restrant choices/drinks/flavors/options/anything that could possibly have a multiple awnser, that happens. One friend of mine wont go to build a bear with me anymore. she spent one time with just me and not our parents there, and we were there 3 hours, most of it spent trying to chose between 3 bears i wanted, then clothes. she picked hers no problem. i couldnt decide what one to get.


ordering food? nope. not by myself unless forced. mom does it. not me. dont like to do it. dont wanna say it wrong or miss something. dont want the waiter looking at me.nope.


Moms been wanting me to ride a bus. since i refuse to drive. nope. ill get lost, what if i get kidnapped. do they allow carseats and strollers on the bus? what if someone gets mad at me. what if they hurt me. what if theres a scary person watching me. what if i miss my stop. what if i never get back home. what if my phone dies. what if they hurt my doll? Nope. not riding the bus.

Im pretty paranoid in general. thinking everyone is watching me and talkign about me,anyone that looks at me clearly must hate me right? home alone late at night? what if we have a fire. what if someone breaks in and murders me? what if someone does bad stuff, what if the house explodes. what if you dont make it home?

I dont tend to let my mom leave without me. if she even moves "where are you going? what are you doing? are you coming back?" i dont know why i do it. its like a reflex, i hear her move and i guess i think shes gonna run away or dissapear.

I cant go with my friends anymore by myself. her mom used to always pick me up and i go with them all day. but i get sick a lot now. and ive been better when moms there, but going alone? what if i get sick, i dont want them to have to drive me home nd ruin their day. what if i dont feel good. -youll be fine- but your not there mom im not good if your not there, you cant drive me home i dont want them to have to take me home..

I do miss my friend. seeing her all the time. shes busy now anyway. but i dunno, am i the only one who does any of this? is it just me?

 

[Jacki Cucinotta]

Hi Sammie! Welcome to Aspies Central.

I thought your intro was perfect. It was extremely honest, detailed, and painted a great picture of who you are. Feel free to chat with us on the forums or on the shoutbox. We don't judge and we are very accepting and generous people. I think you're gonna love what we have to offer here.