• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

No Filter

zipit29

zipit29

Member
Does your lack of a filter get you into trouble with friends or family? For the past couple days i think i have lost one of my few friends, who also happens to be my cousin. we are two weeks apart in age. She always comes to me for advice and i always tell her exactly what i feel. Well exactly what i feel has now gotten me into trouble. She got offended by something i said that she didn't want to hear. Now she is ignoring me, which is the WORST thing anyone can do with me. She also keeps posting obvious statuses on facebook about how words hurt worse than anything and you always love people who dont deserve love. Do my aspie comrades have any advice on how to handle my stupid mouth and my inability to keep friends?

this is RaeRae28, i just couldn't remember my password so i signed up again through facebook. im on my tablet right now.
 
She can't have experienced much pain if words are the worst she has had.

Can't really advice you on the social relations front, too ready to cut people loose myself. I would however suggest that maybe you just need to realise that she is the one having a problem with what you said – that she was wrong, I suppose – making it her problem. Any reasonable person would eventually concede that you have a right to your opinion, even if they disagree with your opinion, and that they shouldn't try to bully you into agreeing with them.

And yet, that might be the key – agreeing with them. I'd never advice it, but it does seem to be the most obvious solution to your stated problem, although I can practically guarrantee that it would make you unhappy in the long run.

There is an "I forgot my password" link on the login page.
 
Well, if she asked for your advice, I'd say it's sort of her problem if she didn't like the answer. When certain sensitive people I know ask me for advice, I simply tell them, "Don't ask a question for which you are not prepared to hear an honest answer." I don't think it's up to you to filter your comments if your counsel is being sought. However, if getting back into this person's good graces is important to you, you can always just apologize. An apology doesn't have to be an admittance of guilt ... just an acknowledgement of causing the person some distress. You'll know in the future to caution her about asking for your advice.
 
thanks guys :) yeah it is her problem because she didnt want to hear the truth. a therapist would have told her the same thing only charging her 200 bucks lol
 
Today at work, one of my bosses corrected me for saying "off the boat" in regard to an international student i was helping earlier that day and I couldn't understand her accent. Now mind you, saying controversial stuff like this has gotten me in trouble before to the point of them almost firing me. But they are aware enough to know that I have a hard time with keeping myself censored because that is apparently what they want (for those who don't know, I work at a college campus. I have been there for 6-7 years and am now looking for a new job elsewhere.)
 
If I’m stressing a lot or thinking of too many things at once I don’t consider what I’m saying.

Head so full of all other things my replies or chitty-chat are unedited. Thinking out loud...without consideration for others.

When I’m relaxed and unhurried, I can pass as almost social.
 
Well I would stop referring to it as a 'stupid mouth'! I've always said, people can only "take offense", you can't "give offense". If she can't take it, then she shouldn't ask. If she did ask, then she clearly knows what you are going to say, so she wanted this to happen. Sometimes people genuinely want to be offended and bask in the drama that they have created around them. Of course if you say that to them... guess what... yes, they get offended.

So I can't tell you anything you don't already know. Firstly, accept that people want to suffer, let them talk and simply agree. Their problems are their own and you can't help them unless they ask to be helped. If they do ask, then speak your mind. It's on them for asking. If they really can't take it, then they should go somewhere else. Eventually (hopfully) you'll settle on a small number of friends that you don't have to tread on eggshells around.

And on the status message, I'd wait til it blew over and the next drama surfaced and quietly defriend or unfollow her, but hopefully at a time when she doesn't notice. Or else... drama.
 
I wouldn't worry much about it. People like that just want to hear themselves talk and for you to agree with them. I would have unfollowed her. Far too much drama on Facebook.
 
Many people are drama queens. They always want to be told they're right, never want to be criticized for anything even if the criticism is warranted, and always look for something to be offended about. You can try confronting her respectfully about it, but at the end of the day it's up to her to handle it like a mature person. If she chooses to throw hissy fits and be all passive aggressive, then it's not your problem to fix.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom