No matter what positivness is in your life, vulnerability kicks in, when out on your own

[Suzanne]

This is how I feel, despite being 45 now and married.

My husband sprained his back badly and has no choice but to lie down and get up occasionally and so, it is down to me, to do some of what he does, which is only fair, so I take courage and walk to our drs, to put a cheque in her letter box. I needed to go to the chemist and get some more cough mixture as I am suffering a bit of coughing asthma. There was one person being served and 2 in front of me, but the longer I stayed, the longer I felt deeply insecure, totally out of my depth, which is plain silly, since my home is just a walk way!

I wondered if it is because I live in France? Which, of course, is the reason, but I remember feeling this way in England!

It is a horrible feeling and I would love to be able to hold my own and just feel ok, being me.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

This is how I feel, despite being 45 now and married.

My husband sprained his back badly and has no choice but to lie down and get up occasionally and so, it is down to me, to do some of what he does, which is only fair, so I take courage and walk to our drs, to put a cheque in her letter box. I needed to go to the chemist and get some more cough mixture as I am suffering a bit of coughing asthma. There was one person being served and 2 in front of me, but the longer I stayed, the longer I felt deeply insecure, totally out of my depth, which is plain silly, since my home is just a walk way!

I wondered if it is because I live in France? Which, of course, is the reason, but I remember feeling this way in England!

It is a horrible feeling and I would love to be able to hold my own and just feel ok, being me.

It will come if you practice. Do it in small increments by going to close places by yourself that are close to home (your safe zone). Then as it gets easier venture out a little further each time or stay in a place longer that makes you get the uncomfortable feeling. You'll have setbacks of anxiety so don't take that personally. I had to do that when I would all of a sudden have a panic attack come on which would make me scared to go back to that place thinking another panic attack would resurface. It gets better each time.

 

[Warmheart]

Suzanne, your courage and strength glow in your kindhearted posts to others. You support, encourage, and offer your wisdom with such generosity when a member here is suffering. Your compassion makes you strong. I have no doubt that in time, you will develop a comforting pattern of success. I am sending you good thoughts for today.

 

[Suzanne]

Suzanne, your courage and strength glow in your kindhearted posts to others. You support, encourage, and offer your wisdom with such generosity when a member here is suffering. Your compassion makes you strong. I have no doubt that in time, you will develop a comforting pattern of success. I am sending you good thoughts for today.

Oh my, what an amazing compliment and you have me blushing lol

 

[AsheSkyler]

I blame the social anxiety. I always feel in the way at checkout lines even though I have just as much right to be there as the other people do.

 

[Suzanne]

I blame the social anxiety. I always feel in the way at checkout lines even though I have just as much right to be there as the other people do.

Oh yes and it reminds me that even in my own home and someone is visiting and standing in the way or something, I actually feel really embarrassed about asking them to move, because I guess I feel rude. Same goes when one offers to help, I feel embarrassed because I have my way and feel an inconvenience!!!

I hate flipping social anxiety and just wish I could wake up one morning and think: oh I need to visit the pharmacy or something and just go and do it, without this sheer psyching myself up for it and continuously saying: you can do it girl!!

 

[Suzanne]

It will come if you practice. Do it in small increments by going to close places by yourself that are close to home (your safe zone). Then as it gets easier venture out a little further each time or stay in a place longer that makes you get the uncomfortable feeling. You'll have setbacks of anxiety so don't take that personally. I had to do that when I would all of a sudden have a panic attack come on which would make me scared to go back to that place thinking another panic attack would resurface. It gets better each time.

I had to laugh at: t will come with practice, because the times I have do that very thing, it still causes deep anxiety. Lol my home is just a few minutes walk away from the shop I was in and yet, might as well been an hour's drive, for all the panic I felt and completely out of my depth!

The only time I have experienced panic attacks, when I did cold turkey on prozac; I suffer severe anxiety attacks and I suppose because of their severity, I just wish to hide away!

 

[Tom]

With autism usually come these pesky co-morbids. Anxiety has to be one of the most common and what you describe is very common. What it basically means is there is not something wrong with you per se, but with the chemistry/wiring upstairs (brain). Positive outlook and practical training do help. Meds are another tool that doctors have. I am not really up on meds, except the few I have personal experience with. The only one I take for mental issues is an anti-anxiety one, and it has worked very well is reducing anxiety in all forms about 75%. I don't know if Prozac is an anti-anxiety med, but discussing the anxiety with your doctor may be a good idea and perhaps there is something different for you to try that may help. I know meds aren't a silver bullet and its good to be on as few as possible, but at the same time when the condition (anxiety) has a very detrimental effect on living, its worth considering.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Oh yes and it reminds me that even in my own home and someone is visiting and standing in the way or something, I actually feel really embarrassed about asking them to move, because I guess I feel rude. Same goes when one offers to help, I feel embarrassed because I have my way and feel an inconvenience!!!

I hate flipping social anxiety and just wish I could wake up one morning and think: oh I need to visit the pharmacy or something and just go and do it, without this sheer psyching myself up for it and continuously saying: you can do it girl!!

Ack, true that! I get so tired of always feeling like I'm in the way or I stick out like a sore thumb. It doesn't bother me one bit one somebody else falls short and asks for help for some simple thing, I just help them out and move on. But if it's me? I never let myself live it down. I do the avoidance thing too. When I had to use a laundromat and I was alone, I would casually drive by a few times once an hour until it was empty (if it was full) because I did NOT want to deal with chit chat. And given my luck, all they'd wanted to talk about is our underwear! One reason why I hide our underwear on the middle lines when I use the clothesline, so if we get uninvited guests I don't have to listen to their snarky remarks about our underwear.

 

[danielcollins]

My doctor prescribed me blood pressure medication for anxiety and I can hands down say it's the best thing EVER. No more sweats and no more unfocusedness and loss of vision, I feel like I can do things I couldn't before.

Something like this is deeply personal and specific to you but I do find it does get better with time and pushing yourself a little really does help. There can be many triggers for anxiety, of which only you are best placed to say cause them.. for me It's being out and about without the security of my car near by.

I quite like having errands, I don't really have a hobby so they keep me busy.. popping to the post office, going to see a man about a tyre or something. I usually find some ridiculous reason to potter about. I digress anyway.. I find eye contact makes it worse for me, recently my eye contact has been quite poor.

Chin up and see your doctor about it - there's things they can do about the physical symptoms, which make the mental ones much easier to handle.

 

[danielcollins]

Ack, true that! I get so tired of always feeling like I'm in the way or I stick out like a sore thumb. It doesn't bother me one bit one somebody else falls short and asks for help for some simple thing, I just help them out and move on. But if it's me? I never let myself live it down. I do the avoidance thing too. When I had to use a laundromat and I was alone, I would casually drive by a few times once an hour until it was empty (if it was full) because I did NOT want to deal with chit chat. And given my luck, all they'd wanted to talk about is our underwear! One reason why I hide our underwear on the middle lines when I use the clothesline, so if we get uninvited guests I don't have to listen to their snarky remarks about our underwear.

Hah, yes.. chit chat is a bain - can't stand it.

This is why I avoid new hair dressers, I like my main one because we know eachother well enough to have a meaningful chat. Otherwise the thoughtless, careless chit chat makes me cringe.

Although - on the phone, I'm guilty of asking how people are.. then getting upset when they don't ask me back.

 

[Maelstrom]

"Suzanne, post: 184835, member: 12166"] but the longer I stayed, the longer I felt deeply insecure, totally out of my depth, which is plain silly, since my home is just a walk way!
It is a horrible feeling and I would love to be able to hold my own and just feel ok, being me.

Hi Suzanne, yeah! been down that road, really wears on you doesn't it. I hate that sick little butter fly feeling in the stomach, and if you say anything to family they just look at you like you're weak or nuts and say,"YOU NEED TO LEARN TO "bla bla bla! Ooh! I hate that phrase SO MUCH. What do they think, that we just woke up one morning and thought to our selves, you know it would be really fun to feel sick ,worried, and scared, all day today. I get a little tired of people ignoring raw biology when it is more convenient to butter their bread, live in my shoes for a day see how well you do.