Undiagnosed
Well-Known Member
Can anyone relate??
My son is aspie (thought not yet diagnosed) . Somehow he manages to have pretty much no social skillls but quite a few friends.
He dosn't usually do what I would think a 13 year old would narmally do such as text a friend, make a plan (to spend the night, come over, go somewhere and do something etc.) and go do it.
IN fact he rarley ever textes any of his friends partley becouse every time he gets a phone he looses it. And even when he dose have a phone he dosn't seem to do the norm as described above.
Instead he will randomley run into a friend type of thing.
To put this into context, we live in a very small town and all the kids know each other and where each other live and there are certain places the kids go to hang out such as a couple of the different school yaards, and a certain park.
To also put some context into this.... I am a single mom, aspie, low income, vision impaired, bad social skills, avoidant personality disorder, cronic depression, somewhat isolated lifestyle i.e. no job
Adam is not a part of any school activities or sports, we have tried a few activities such as boy scouts, wrestling and baseball, either he looses interest, a social or transportion issue makes it diffucult and otherwise Adam has never liked team sports. He likes to play a game with some randome friends but not an organized team type of thing, and dosn't like school or anything to do with it
So with that put into perspective you can see that his socilazation has come to randome hanging out with kiids his age.
So he will ask to go to the school yard and then go out and just see who finds him to hang out with type of thing.
Or one of his friends might come to the house and he and the friend will go off for a walk or to hang out at the park and then he comes back he's with someone else..... "Zack found me"....
And when he was gone mabey two other different friends have stoped by to see if he's home.
And the whole time he seems kinda lost. Like when he first gets a new friend he sometimes dosn't know there name for a while.... dosn't have any friends phone numbers etc..
Or comes back home after hanging with his friends and ask if he can go to this party. "Who's party?" I ask. "this kid" he mumbles, "what's the kids name?" I ask, "mmmmm, not sure" he mumbles,,,,"it's somebody's birthday party....... I just saw my friends there......" "where is the party?" I ask,,,,,,,,"mmm, at this house"..."where is the house"......... "it's not very far from here...... if it's not over yet"....... "so you just saw your friends there but you don't know if the party was over or not?"..........."uuuuu yea...... I think it might be over by now but i'm not sure" .........and you get the idea
This is an example of his social skills with his frineds...... Friend comes to the door and askeds for Adam....... Adam's in his room playing a video game that he is very much into...... I tell aAdam that Brandon is at the door for him...... Adam scurries to the door.. (I say scurries becouse his movements are somewhat awkward ) . Brandon askes Adam if he wants to do something like come over to his house or something like that......... Adam gives a short quick low monotomed "no" and darts back to his room. No.... "hey , what's up man", no "not right now, I'm playing my game", no, "hey mabey I'll come down later",,, nothing but...."no" and off he's gone.
I have noticed with some of his friends that they seem to since that he need sort of looked after.
i.e. His friend was spending the night and Adam was falling asleep on the couch and was makeing a funny nnoise that he makes when he is board or relaxing.... lik.."aaaaaaa".... Zack sitting in a chair watching TV notices it and turns and looks at Adam.... "are you OK Adam?",,, not jokeing or sarcastic,,, like concerned,,, Adam dosn't open his eyes or turn his head toward Zack but just gives his short low monotone "yea" and Zach says "just checkin on ya"
or he has friends that will say "I would never let anything bad happen to Adam",,, or "I will help him remember to do that",,,,, or "I have come to take Adam to this group I go to on Wednesdays, I thhink it would be good for him"....these are like 13 year old kids.
now there are others he has hung ut with that will see him as volnerable and take advantage also.
Anyway what I am getting at here is........ sorta baffles me that someone can have like no social skills yet manage to have all these friends............ Dose anyone have a clue ???
My son is aspie (thought not yet diagnosed) . Somehow he manages to have pretty much no social skillls but quite a few friends.
He dosn't usually do what I would think a 13 year old would narmally do such as text a friend, make a plan (to spend the night, come over, go somewhere and do something etc.) and go do it.
IN fact he rarley ever textes any of his friends partley becouse every time he gets a phone he looses it. And even when he dose have a phone he dosn't seem to do the norm as described above.
Instead he will randomley run into a friend type of thing.
To put this into context, we live in a very small town and all the kids know each other and where each other live and there are certain places the kids go to hang out such as a couple of the different school yaards, and a certain park.
To also put some context into this.... I am a single mom, aspie, low income, vision impaired, bad social skills, avoidant personality disorder, cronic depression, somewhat isolated lifestyle i.e. no job
Adam is not a part of any school activities or sports, we have tried a few activities such as boy scouts, wrestling and baseball, either he looses interest, a social or transportion issue makes it diffucult and otherwise Adam has never liked team sports. He likes to play a game with some randome friends but not an organized team type of thing, and dosn't like school or anything to do with it
So with that put into perspective you can see that his socilazation has come to randome hanging out with kiids his age.
So he will ask to go to the school yard and then go out and just see who finds him to hang out with type of thing.
Or one of his friends might come to the house and he and the friend will go off for a walk or to hang out at the park and then he comes back he's with someone else..... "Zack found me"....
And when he was gone mabey two other different friends have stoped by to see if he's home.
And the whole time he seems kinda lost. Like when he first gets a new friend he sometimes dosn't know there name for a while.... dosn't have any friends phone numbers etc..
Or comes back home after hanging with his friends and ask if he can go to this party. "Who's party?" I ask. "this kid" he mumbles, "what's the kids name?" I ask, "mmmmm, not sure" he mumbles,,,,"it's somebody's birthday party....... I just saw my friends there......" "where is the party?" I ask,,,,,,,,"mmm, at this house"..."where is the house"......... "it's not very far from here...... if it's not over yet"....... "so you just saw your friends there but you don't know if the party was over or not?"..........."uuuuu yea...... I think it might be over by now but i'm not sure" .........and you get the idea
This is an example of his social skills with his frineds...... Friend comes to the door and askeds for Adam....... Adam's in his room playing a video game that he is very much into...... I tell aAdam that Brandon is at the door for him...... Adam scurries to the door.. (I say scurries becouse his movements are somewhat awkward ) . Brandon askes Adam if he wants to do something like come over to his house or something like that......... Adam gives a short quick low monotomed "no" and darts back to his room. No.... "hey , what's up man", no "not right now, I'm playing my game", no, "hey mabey I'll come down later",,, nothing but...."no" and off he's gone.
I have noticed with some of his friends that they seem to since that he need sort of looked after.
i.e. His friend was spending the night and Adam was falling asleep on the couch and was makeing a funny nnoise that he makes when he is board or relaxing.... lik.."aaaaaaa".... Zack sitting in a chair watching TV notices it and turns and looks at Adam.... "are you OK Adam?",,, not jokeing or sarcastic,,, like concerned,,, Adam dosn't open his eyes or turn his head toward Zack but just gives his short low monotone "yea" and Zach says "just checkin on ya"
or he has friends that will say "I would never let anything bad happen to Adam",,, or "I will help him remember to do that",,,,, or "I have come to take Adam to this group I go to on Wednesdays, I thhink it would be good for him"....these are like 13 year old kids.
now there are others he has hung ut with that will see him as volnerable and take advantage also.
Anyway what I am getting at here is........ sorta baffles me that someone can have like no social skills yet manage to have all these friends............ Dose anyone have a clue ???
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