Not being productive enough

[vergil96]

I don't know whether I'm doing it wrong or if it is supposed to be this way. I feel like I'm so unproductive and it takes so much time to feed myself, do hygene, wind down before sleep, go on walks (I won't fall asleep otherwise). Take breaks. It feels like other people are so resilient and they can "just push through" different needs, won't stop being focused if they forget to eat or take a break or don't get enough sleep, don't get any movement. I'm very effective in the short periods of time that I'm productive, I can do hard things that pay off, but I'm not productive 8 hours a day, maybe more like 5 or 6 max. Maybe I'm wrong about how productive other people are? At this point I feel like I have health issues and havr to take care of myself a lot. It takes so much time and effort. I feel like my body is too sensitive, I don't know if objectively, but too sensitive for today's culture or maybe for my age.

So my question is if maybe I'm wrong and nobody is as productive as I think? Or if not, how do you cope with feeling like your health is worse than others and you can't live your life as fully as others do?

 

[Outdated]

I was highly productive as a young man, very active, never needed more than 6 hours sleep a night, worked 12 to 16 hours a day and still had a busy social life.

Then something in my head broke and I can't do that any more. Burnt myself out trying.

 

[vergil96]

I need 9 hours of sleep and at least an hour to wind down in the evening. I usually take up to 2 hours to get ready in the morning. Add all the breaks, at least half an hour walk, having to clean and prepare meals, do groceries, commutes... It takes an awful lot of time. I mean, a lot of these things are what everyone has to do, I just need more sleep, rest and breaks, that's my point of... regret. And I can't funtion at all if I skip a meal or a break. It seems like most people my age can just push through and feel just mild discomfort, not unable to do anything all of a sudden.

I think I've always been like that and don't need to work more, but responsibilities fill out all of my "productive" time and I think I could achieve more if I didn't have such limitations.

 

[Outdated]

I need 9 hours of sleep and at least an hour to wind down in the evening. I usually take up to 2 hours to get ready in the morning. Add all the breaks, at least half an hour walk, having to clean and prepare meals, do groceries, commutes... It takes an awful lot of time.

That is me today, and that 9 hours sleep needs to be unbroken too or I'll be short tempered the next day. I gave up on housework when I was in my early 30s, I think that was one of the very early signs of me burning out, I just didn't have time for it any more. When I was living in Melbourne I was earning good money and I paid someone to do it for me. It didn't stop me from burning out though, my entire lifestyle was just too busy.

I had a phat time while it lasted though.

 

[RedCoat1964]

I need 9 hours of sleep and at least an hour to wind down in the evening. I usually take up to 2 hours to get ready in the morning. Add all the breaks, at least half an hour walk, having to clean and prepare meals, do groceries, commutes... It takes an awful lot of time. I mean, a lot of these things are what everyone has to do, I just need more sleep, rest and breaks, that's my point of... regret. And I can't funtion at all if I skip a meal or a break. It seems like most people my age can just push through and feel just mild discomfort, not unable to do anything all of a sudden.

I think I've always been like that and don't need to work more, but responsibilities fill out all of my "productive" time and I think I could achieve more if I didn't have such limitations.

I experience similar feelings and my "productive" periods can be sporadic.
I've always been this way, but didn't realize it was somewhat 'normal' for me until I received my autism diagnosis.
Being on the spectrum affects Executive Function. Therefore, my 'normal' is different from other people's normal.
However, I still need to work on staying on top of things.
I find if I give myself one goal a day to accomplish, I'm good. Some days I'll then try another goal. But some days I am just happy to achieve that and go on with my 'normal'.
Try not to beat yourself up over what others may, or may not, be doing. Remember, they may be masking and they really aren't as productive as you think.
I have ADHD with my autism, so that means I have tendencies to be a couch potato. It's not easy, but since I'm aware that it's a side-effect of my ADHD, I try and talk myself into doing things I really would rather not do, like laundry.
We're all different. We all have different journeys.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

So my question is if maybe I'm wrong and nobody is as productive as I think? Or if not, how do you cope with feeling like your health is worse than others and you can't live your life as fully as others do?

I feel the same way.

I cope with it using strategy and organization. Planning what to do with my energy.

What people and stuff drains me, so I try to avoid them. What people and stuff charges me so I try to bend my way towards them.

 

[Masked Man]

I don't know whether I'm doing it wrong or if it is supposed to be this way. I feel like I'm so unproductive and it takes so much time to feed myself, do hygene, wind down before sleep, go on walks (I won't fall asleep otherwise). Take breaks. It feels like other people are so resilient and they can "just push through" different needs, won't stop being focused if they forget to eat or take a break or don't get enough sleep, don't get any movement. I'm very effective in the short periods of time that I'm productive, I can do hard things that pay off, but I'm not productive 8 hours a day, maybe more like 5 or 6 max. Maybe I'm wrong about how productive other people are? At this point I feel like I have health issues and havr to take care of myself a lot. It takes so much time and effort. I feel like my body is too sensitive, I don't know if objectively, but too sensitive for today's culture or maybe for my age.

So my question is if maybe I'm wrong and nobody is as productive as I think? Or if not, how do you cope with feeling like your health is worse than others and you can't live your life as fully as others do?

You do you. Does it work for you? Then that's all that matters. Don't waste your time worrying about what other people are doing or what strangers think about you.

I sleep a minimum of 8 hours. I take at least 1 hour to wind down. I get up about 2 hours early to gear up for the day. I take mental hygiene breaks through the day. It works for me.

No I'm not part of grind culture. That's fine. I don't want to be a part of it.

 

[Angular Chap]

It sounds like you are a quality over quantity type of person with good standards. Your productivity is focused on the quality and high standards of what you achieve, rather than how much.

It feels like the world is obsessed with quantity over quality. But you take care of feeding yourself, personal hygiene and sleep quality to a high standard.

In my view, doing less to a high standard is better than doing more to a lower standard. Take pride in your high standards of self care and daily achievements!

 

[Judge]

Interesting- and disturbing subject. How an individual operates, relative to quantity of labor versus its quantity. Disturbing to me, given having spent nearly two decades in a line of work which clearly weighted quantity of labor over quality.

Particularly in the case of insurance underwriting, where one had to make often complex,split-second decisions that could be costly if in error. Where if you couldn't push the amount of paper (few computers back then) you weren't of as much value compared to those who could. When time management skills were paramount, whether your underwriting skills were developed or not.

A process I witnessed and was personally involved in for a very long time. Where given my continual ability to produce, I was chosen to teach others whose time management abilities were far less than what the corporation demanded.

A real-life scenario where there was no question that quantity was favored over quality. And at times, all I could do was to cringe. Even though I was a "poster-child" of being the producing underwriter that management wanted- even demanded.

Whether my mind and body were up to the task or not. Though purely mentally speaking, I always thought my ability to make complex decisions always waned after about two o'clock in the afternoon! Something I was careful never to lament to anyone at work. Having to commute for an hour each way to and from San Francisco didn't help either.

I haven't been in insurance since 1996. Have such priorities shifted over the years? I bet they haven't. Though on some days, going to work felt like being on my way to a firing squad, except they didn't give me a blindfold to wear. Had I been able to proclaim I was autistic, I'm certain I would have been met with complete indifference.

Even when I switched careers and became a web designer, I was still expected to produce both in terms of quantity and quality. Whew....so glad to be retired. I feel tired from just posting this.

 

[AprilR]

I often feel the same way. I try to be organized and keep a routine for housekeeping. But my short term memory is awful and adding executive dysfunction, and chronic fatigue it is very hard.

Sorry i don't have any advice for this, but i also have the same problem and i started to look for apps for neurodivergent people bc of this

 

[Judge]

In the next life I'd like to have a job that had few if any quantitative metrics to be judged by.

Autistic or not.

I've served my time in hell.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I don't know whether I'm doing it wrong or if it is supposed to be this way. I feel like I'm so unproductive and it takes so much time to feed myself, do hygene, wind down before sleep, go on walks (I won't fall asleep otherwise). Take breaks. It feels like other people are so resilient and they can "just push through" different needs, won't stop being focused if they forget to eat or take a break or don't get enough sleep, don't get any movement. I'm very effective in the short periods of time that I'm productive, I can do hard things that pay off, but I'm not productive 8 hours a day, maybe more like 5 or 6 max. Maybe I'm wrong about how productive other people are? At this point I feel like I have health issues and havr to take care of myself a lot. It takes so much time and effort. I feel like my body is too sensitive, I don't know if objectively, but too sensitive for today's culture or maybe for my age.

So my question is if maybe I'm wrong and nobody is as productive as I think? Or if not, how do you cope with feeling like your health is worse than others and you can't live your life as fully as others do?

At risk of flipping this into a physiology lesson but do understand that the "typical" autistic brain is associated with significantly more inflammatory mediators, oxygen radical production, mitochondrial dysfunction, poor creatine metabolism (energy production), poor methylation of B vitamins (energy production), neurotransmitter imbalances with glutamine, GABA, serotonin, and dopamine. THEN, throw in all the mental energy required for masking and all of our social and communication issues. If you have difficulties with sleeping. If you have difficulties with GI and diet issues, then this adds to it all. Some days, you just make it through the day, and you've done nothing productive.

Like many health conditions, it requires a multi-pathway approach. #1. Diet. Research the "anti-inflammatory" diet. Basically, minimize your simple sugars and saturated fats. Increase your fruits and veggies. #2. I know a lot of people like their caffeine, and there are some health benefits to coffees and teas, but caffeine is also a vasoconstrictor in the brain, and we need as much oxygen-rich blood to our brains as possible. Drink water. #3. Probiotics to help with microbiome in our gut. The microbiome is responsible for a large percentage of our neurotransmitter production. #4. Get good sleep. If melatonin and magnesium helps, then do take it before bedtime. Have a routine bedtime. #5 Light exercise. Walks, yoga, calisthenics, biking, swimming, whatever that is for you. Do it. #6. N-acetyl-cysteine (NAC) is a real powerhouse that is used for the production of glutathione, a major antioxidant in the brain. (600-1000mg/day) #7. Methylcobalabin (Methyl-B12) used for energy production. Already methylated and is ready to use by the autistic brain. #8. L-theanine (100-200mg/day) used to inhibit glutamine, one of the excitatory neurotransmitters. Helps with the imbalance of glutamine and GABA. #9. Listen to your body and mind, then pace yourself. If you have to work in multiple short bursts with rest in between, then do that.

 

[vergil96]

I find if I give myself one goal a day to accomplish, I'm good. Some days I'll then try another goal.

I do one thing per day too. And I feel like I'm not being productive, because everyone around me complete multiple tasks each day. (I count work as one task, larger cleaning as one, going more serious shopping as one etc.)

Had I been able to proclaim I was autistic, I'm certain I would have been met with complete indifference.

I don't think it usually does for corporations. All they care about is profit and if their money agrees, and they just want cost-effective employees - it's not just autism that is discounted, but all kinds of things. They want to squeeze you like a lemon.

Even when I switched careers and became a web designer, I was still expected to produce both in terms of quantity and quality.

It hasn't changed and there are even more elaborate tools to automate the grind of coding and each person doing their small part of the assembly line.

Thank you all for replies! It has really lifted me up that I'm not the only one and it's not necessarily a bad thing!

 

[vergil96]

At risk of flipping this into a physiology lesson but do understand that the "typical" autistic brain is associated with significantly more inflammatory mediators, oxygen radical production, mitochondrial dysfunction, poor creatine metabolism (energy production), poor methylation of B vitamins (energy production), neurotransmitter imbalances with glutamine, GABA, serotonin, and dopamine. THEN, throw in all the mental energy required for masking and all of our social and communication issues. If you have difficulties with sleeping. If you have difficulties with GI and diet issues, then this adds to it all. Some days, you just make it through the day, and you've done nothing productive.

Like many health conditions, it requires a multi-pathway approach. #1. Diet. Research the "anti-inflammatory" diet. Basically, minimize your simple sugars and saturated fats. Increase your fruits and veggies. #2. I know a lot of people like their caffeine, and there are some health benefits to coffees and teas, but caffeine is also a vasoconstrictor in the brain, and we need as much oxygen-rich blood to our brains as possible. Drink water. #3. Probiotics to help with microbiome in our gut. The microbiome is responsible for a large percentage of our neurotransmitter production. #4. Get good sleep. If melatonin and magnesium helps, then do take it before bedtime. Have a routine bedtime. #5 Light exercise. Walks, yoga, calisthenics, biking, swimming, whatever that is for you. Do it. #6. N-acetyl-cysteine (NAC) is a real powerhouse that is used for the production of glutathione, a major antioxidant in the brain. (600-1000mg/day) #7. Methylcobalabin (Methyl-B12) used for energy production. Already methylated and is ready to use by the autistic brain. #8. L-theanine (100-200mg/day) used to inhibit glutamine, one of the excitatory neurotransmitters. Helps with the imbalance of glutamine and GABA. #9. Listen to your body and mind, then pace yourself. If you have to work in multiple short bursts with rest in between, then do that.

Tbh I've been researching and using this knowledge for many years now. It takes a lot of effort to have a good diet and it does all the difference to me. It's worth the effort, but it's a lot of effort. Two largest problems with diet for me are celiac disease and hypogycemia. I might give 6, 7 and 8 a try though, I haven't tried these supplements yet. Good to remember about 9 too

While caffeine works well for me, I find the blood circulation to be important. Maybe it has to do with my low blood pressure that caffeine makes me feel better in the same way gentle exercise does. Both help with existing and prevent new migraines. Also I'm slowly getting old and my legs start to feel numb from not walking for too long Exercise helps with a lot of things. With sleep, with focus/hyperactivity, with emotional processing and improves mood. With maintaining a healthy weight. This is why I can't just skip walks. We didn't evolve for a stationary lifestyle, but one with plenty of moderate exercise. ... Neither with consumption of high amount of highly processed sugar. Fibre from vegetables and yogurt or pickled foods are an excellent everyday probiotic.

 

[Outdated]

It's really quite a complex subject because it applies on different levels.

On a personal level most of us like to feel that we are contributing to society but many have very rigid ideas about what that should entail. As a young man I was a bit of a party animal, I earnt a serious amount of money and I always spent every penny of it. Some people saw me as a bit of a wastrel but from my point of view, at least I was spending all that money in my own country's economy instead of spending it overseas.

I haven't worked since 2008, we have a pretty good welfare system here, and I feel no guilt about that. Partly because of the way I was treated by a lot of people when I was working, they made it quite obvious that they didn't want me around and they are now paying me to stay away. I do give back to society in lots of little ways too, I'm always happy to pitch in and lend a hand to anyone that needs it and I try to contribute to issues I believe are worthwhile in my society.

Then there's the cultural expectations of how much you should and shouldn't work and how you should live, these expectations and standards are different in different cultures but they are drummed in to us from infancy. For our whole lives we tend to try and hold ourselves to those societal standards even if they're inappropriate.

A cultural lesson for me when I was only 16 was meeting a disgruntled American businessman waiting for an interstate bus. He obviously didn't find what he was looking for here and he was venting. "In America the Great American Dream is to be able to build a nice house bigger than your neighbour's house, with a pool. And to have two cars in the driveway and still have enough money to send all your kids to college. As far as I can tell the Great Australian Dream is to not have to work!". I grinned and told him he got it right.

 

[Judge]

A cultural lesson for me when I was only 16 was meeting a disgruntled American businessman waiting for an interstate bus. He obviously didn't find what he was looking for here and he was venting. "In America the Great American Dream is to be able to build a nice house bigger than your neighbour's house, with a pool. And to have two cars in the driveway and still have enough money to send all your kids to college. As far as I can tell the Great Australian Dream is to not have to work!". I grinned and told him he got it right.

Most people I know don't really believe in "The American Dream" any more than they would with Santa Claus. It's just a sentiment from my parent's era that is long gone for the average joe. Though in election cycles it plays well like a carrot on a stick for a donkey.

Interestingly enough though to consider how many people from English-speaking nations and cultures all have roots in the Calivinist and Puritan "Protestant Work Ethic" that continues to permeate a lot of peoples' core values.

 

[vergil96]

Interestingly enough though to consider how many people from English-speaking nations and cultures all have roots in the Calivinist and Puritan "Protestant Work Ethic" that continues to permeate a lot of peoples' core values.

True. And the area of influence of Protestantism speads to other germanic nations and nearby areas as well.

 

[Misery]

I haven't worked since 2008, we have a pretty good welfare system here, and I feel no guilt about that. Partly because of the way I was treated by a lot of people when I was working, they made it quite obvious that they didn't want me around and they are now paying me to stay away. I do give back to society in lots of little ways too, I'm always happy to pitch in and lend a hand to anyone that needs it and I try to contribute to issues I believe are worthwhile in my society.

Then there's the cultural expectations of how much you should and shouldn't work and how you should live, these expectations and standards are different in different cultures but they are drummed in to us from infancy. For our whole lives we tend to try and hold ourselves to those societal standards even if they're inappropriate.

Yeah, this is generally how I see it.

The last time I worked (not counting the game-dev contract) was... er... okay I dont actually know. At least 12 years ago. Havent worked a day since. Every now and then... often enough to be annoying... I'll get someone who tries to shame me for that. But I've zero guilt about it.

And a big part of it was realizing how very little I'd been valued at the places I HAD worked at. I'd had many jobs by that point, but there was one moment that always stuck out in my mind: working at Gamestop, I once opened a paycheck to find that it was for zero dollars. Which sounds like exaggerated sarcasm, but no, I mean *genuinely* zero dollars. Nothing. Nada. I think I still have the stupid thing somewhere. Oh I had done the hours in that time period. But, oh no, time for taxes, oops, here's the "print the check" charge, oh gee, Bob up in Corporate doesnt have his third yacht yet so we need more for that, uh oh, we lost another $30 somewhere... oh gosh OOPS you dont get any, soooo sorry...

And of course being treated badly at other jobs. I could drop lots of examples here, but I doubt I need to.

After all of that (and plenty more) I'm supposed to feel freaking shame for not running that rat race anymore? Yeah, I dont freaking think so.

But also, there's that aspect of everyone being encouraged to push themselves to a ridiculous point, and heck with health, it's THE COMPANY that matters, and of course "prestige", gotta get that yacht so you can have it sit, unused, in some dock somewhere so you can say you have one. I mean, most likely you wont get there, but PUSH AS IF ITS A GUARANTEE. You also likely wont feel better if you DO get there, but hey, dont think about that part...

I heard a line on the internet once, watching an argument about the value of all of this: "Self-care has made me strong. Has running yourself into the ground made YOU strong?" and that line often goes through my mind. I'm 43 and I have boundless energy. I look at those at my age or younger, who are all about "ambition" and whatever else, all about "more more more", gotta grind, CONTRIBUTE, and they look like they got hit by a car or something. It's not like I never do productive things, either. But I aint gonna metaphorically hit myself with hammers so some rich CEO can get richer (and let's be honest, that's the *actual* point of many jobs). Or to get some big shiny whatcha-whatever that I wont even use.

And I DEFINITELY aint going to do it simply because others say it's the thing to do. As far as I'm concerned, if anyone around me has a problem with it, they can go jam their heads into a wasp's nest or something. While I go and have a pleasant lunch and a nice walk through the forest.

 

[velociraptor]

It amuses me when people who think that work is stupid also expect their garbage to disappear from outside their homes, food to appear in their pantries, and poop to go away when they flush their toilets. Someone, somewhere is working hard so this will all happen and their contributions are being demeaned by people who depend on them.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Just another form of anarchy.