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Not like everyone else here

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tripleU

tripleU

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I am not like everyone else here, I get into trouble a lot, I don't take anyone is as autistic as me, as there was thread here about a test, and everyone didn't get as severe of a result as me, I don't have a screenshot, but it said like 90% Autism and ADD, while a another result had ~30% of Autism and ADD, I think it was Rodafina Everyone got mixed results, while I got that I was definitely autistic, I don't feel comfortable here, I also get that people aren't interested in my conlangs and nerdy stuff here, I also have extreme Synesthesia, associating A Major with Purple, Violins with red, cellos with yellow. I also get happy randomly from things, like seeing C styled code, which I tried to see if Outdated has it, and he didn't and considered it weird, not as an insult to him. I have extreme emotions over things like loss over small things like colour of the website changing, etc.

I think I am not respected, don't take this as an insult. I also talk about Pakistan being bad, and get called racist, It's not racism, that's how Pakistan works, people are taught to be like that, Pakistan is split into two, "Urban" (Rich) and "Rural" (Poor), the Rural people are very mean, naturally because of several reasons that would take too long to explain, but overall, it's like they grew up to be that, I am Urban and due to a lot of drama, that would take too long to explain, I am in an Rural area now, which explains everything, I need to get money and go back to the Urban areas, and that's also why it takes me 1 hour to go to school, it was 15 minutes before. Don't take this as racist/overanalytical.

Also the Rich and Poor difference is very high here unlike in America, where Urban areas have poorer people and Rural having rich people, from what I can get from Quora (I didn't save the post) I also have a lot of sources from Reddit posts.

I think I haven't still mentioned everything. Read everything carefully. I don't hope anything good, high heartbeat
 
I'm sorry that you're feeling all this anguish. I remember being your age and I didn't like it very much. When I turned 16 I got a job and got out of school and started having more independence and then my whole life got better. I hope the same for you.

Please don't take it personally when the mods edit your posts, managing this many people and heading off comments that might start arguments is an incredibly busy job and they don't get paid for it. They do it purely because they believe this is a good place and they don't want it to turn nasty and toxic like so many other social media.
 
One of the more common remarks I've seen people make on this
site is that they aren't like other people.
 
Outdated said:
I'm sorry that you're feeling all this anguish. I remember being your age and I didn't like it very much. When I turned 16 I got a job and got out of school and started having more independence and then my whole life got better. I hope the same for you.

Please don't take it personally when the mods edit your posts, managing this many people and heading off comments that might start arguments is an incredibly busy job and they don't get paid for it. They do it purely because they believe this is a good place and they don't want it to turn nasty and toxic like so many other social media.
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I have saved my post to an .md file. Remember when I talked about how good some code of a loop looked to me, there's no one like that, find one like that. It makes me wave my hand, seeing cogs move would also do it.
 
tree said:
One of the more common remarks I've seen people make on this
site is that they aren't like other people.
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That's true for everyone but I don't think they are as extreme as mine or overlap to mine. Can you give those remarks?
 
Nobody is like anybody

We are intrinsically unique and have our own ways of being and thinking.

I have felt like an outsider of the world all my life and never really fit in anywhere, hell, sometimes I feel like I don't even fit here in this amazing forum.

The way I have worked with that was very unhealthy, first I was who I was and didn't care much about the world but as I got older I started masking and trying to be accepted and like everyone else.

This brought me a lot of depression, a lot of exhaustion and, in the end, surrounded me by fake and abusive people.

Nowadays I am working on accepting that I am who I am and I am what I am. I am working on acceptance which has been a very rocky road and a hard one too.

Buy I know that, once I accept that I am who I am and that I AM different and that I don't need to understand everyone around me nor I need anyone around me to understand me I know I'll finally be happy
 
elgat0verde said:
Nobody is like anybody

We are intrinsically unique and have our own ways of being and thinking.

I have felt like an outsider of the world all my life and never really fit in anywhere, hell, sometimes I feel like I don't even fit here in this amazing forum.

The way I have worked with that was very unhealthy, first I was who I was and didn't care much about the world but as I got older I started masking and trying to be accepted and like everyone else.

This brought me a lot of depression, a lot of exhaustion and, in the end, surrounded me by fake and abusive people.

Nowadays I am working on accepting that I am who I am and I am what I am. I am working on acceptance which has been a very rocky road and a hard one too.

Buy I know that, once I accept that I am who I am and that I AM different and that I don't need to understand everyone around me nor I need anyone around me to understand me I know I'll finally be happy
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Is Mexico like how I am describing Pakistan? The Richer Urban areas and Poorer Rural areas
 
tree said:
Look for yourself. :)

Plenty of examples in the Intro threads.
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Yeah they don't seem to look as extreme as mine, read my whole post, comment on everything. The Rural and Urban part is the most depressing
 
tripleU said:
had ~30% of Autism and ADD, I think it was Rodafina
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It wasn’t me. I never took such a test. There’s a chance you are referring to the Winnie the Pooh test, which I wouldn’t put much stock in, but even if that’s what it was, you are misremembering my score But none of us are here to measure who is more autistic than another. Everyone will experience autism differently, anyway.

There is a very good chance that your feeling of not belonging here is exacerbated by the age differences. I noticed that you are routinely communicating with people who are three or more decades older than you. This could be part of the problem as to why you are feeling the way that you feel.

your feelings are very serious and valid, and I wish you could be free from the feeling of wanting to die. But my advice is the same as it always has been since the first day you got here. You need people in your real life who can support you. If you are indeed a 13-year-old, a forum of people from around the world cannot be the thing that supports you. You need your mother and other helpful adults and caregivers in your life to talk to about these things and get some help.
 
tripleU said:
Is Mexico like how I am describing Pakistan? The Richer Urban areas and Poorer Rural areas
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It is

However everyone here is narcissistic, self centered and ignorant (no matter the social class)

At least in this town they are, not a good place to live
 
elgat0verde said:
It is

However everyone here is narcissistic, self centered and ignorant (no matter the social class)

At least in this town they are, not a good place to live
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It’s very unlikely that this is statistically true. I understand that you may feel this way, but you just said yourself in a previous post that everyone is unique. Entire regions cannot be categorized in such a homogenous way. It will make it impossible for us to see people as true individuals. We want to be recognized as unique individuals, and others in the world should be afforded the same respect.
 
Not to start a fight @Rodafina but I've met a LOT of people from this country/town and they have all stabbed me in the back one way or another

I am a very open minded person and I generally don't judge a book by its cover nor I am one to just randomly judge strangers.

But after so many years of meeting so many people from my own country I have realized that they, indeed, are this way.
 
elgat0verde said:
Not to start a fight @Rodafina but I've met a LOT of people from this country/town and they have all stabbed me in the back one way or another

I am a very open minded person and I generally don't judge a book by its cover nor I am one to just randomly judge strangers.

But after so many years of meeting so many people from my own country I have realized that they, indeed, are this way.
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Same, but only in the rural region here, the Imam (Muslim Priest), argued like a 12 year old and I didn't go out to the mosque again, I think my left neighbor is the only good one, but I never met him since I stopped going outside so Rodafina is (slightly) correct on generalization but the most is bad.
 
elgat0verde said:
Not to start a fight @Rodafina but I've met a LOT of people from this country/town and they have all stabbed me in the back one way or another

I am a very open minded person and I generally don't judge a book by its cover nor I am one to just randomly judge strangers.

But after so many years of meeting so many people from my own country I have realized that they, indeed, are this way.
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No, it’s not a fight. Just two very different perspectives. We are different in our thinking here, nothing wrong with that.

Edit: And also, I have never lived in your region.
 
tripleU said:
but only in the rural region here, the Imam
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Not here

I moved to the US to work for 2 years and the people that treated me the worst were my own people (Mexicans).

I lived in an apartment provided by the company and my neighbors were Mexican, you don't know how many sleepless nights I had because of their loud parties, I used to give a ride to one of my neighbors and he stopped talking to me because I told him to sit in the front of the truck instead of the back (I am nobody's chauffeur)

Moved from that place into another apartment, again, Mexican neighbors and again, loud parties.

People in this country are very disrespectful towards others and only think of themselves, they do not accept other cultures and when they move they want everyone else to adapt to their culture instead of adapting to the foreign culture they are becoming a part of.

There is not "When in Rome..." it's "I'm here so you change for me"

In this town everyone is looking at everyone to judge them, they judge how you dress, what you drive, who you hang out with, how you wear your hair. They are extremely judgmental and ugly, again, I am not one to just judge people at first glance, I promise you this. I am not one to just generalize that one bad apple makes the whole orchard rotten because I am better than that.

But when all you face from your own people is rejection, mockery, abuse and ignorance, it is hard to not think this way.
 
@Rodafina, can you say anything about the Urban and Rural things? any advice to escape, I can post pictures of the horrible bathroom, it's so small, you know that bathrooms are small but they are even smaller, the floor looks so ugly and the lights too, I like turning of the lights and only having a blue mosquito light on. It's so horrible, the walls are so short that my 21 year old cousin about 5 keyboards tall, can't fit through the doors, and has a risk of touching the fans. I think he is around 2.5m tall,
 
This will be hard to read, but in life there are many hard truths.

Perhaps you feel different, because you are still a child, and many of us are middle aged adults?

As you age, you perceive the world differently. You calm down.

Maybe it's just teenage angst. As you grow, you'll look back and see how you changed.
 
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