Not so good at talking about myself especially online

[whisperingshadow]

I have this problem with traumatic events in my past that have made it so hard to make friends or communicate online, as I fear leaving too much detail about myself could lead me to be identified and stalked, I don't have social media, I don't use apps, I put a pretty ridiculous amount of effort to keep myself safe from anyone who seeks to harm me somehow and I rarely post on any forums ever, this is the first time I've written anything on a public forum in many years, and the last forum I was a part of I deleted all my posts before the cut off period every time it was about to become permanent I deleted. So posting here is a big thing to me, but I cannot tolerate the immense soul crushing loneliness of my extreme isolation. No matter how hard I try, in person, or online always somehow seem to make another enemy or get abused in some way no matter how kind I am or how transparent. I don't know why this happens so often, it makes me think I may me l be a bad person.

 

[Nitro]

 

[tree]

 

[Suzanne]

You are so brave to post and THANK YOU for that bravery.

People who abuse, are the ones who have the issues!

I empathise with that crushing loneliness, since I am prone to it as well and it is FRIGHTENING, because there is little that can be done, accept for us to change and that is so hard, with having aspergers.

Hopefully, you will feel safe here, as since I joined, I feel very much welcomed and that is not a feeling I often have with forums.

 

[Judge]

I have this problem with traumatic events in my past that have made it so hard to make friends or communicate online, as I fear leaving too much detail about myself could lead me to be identified and stalked, I don't have social media, I don't use apps, I put a pretty ridiculous amount of effort to keep myself safe from anyone who seeks to harm me somehow and I rarely post on any forums ever, this is the first time I've written anything on a public forum in many years, and the last forum I was a part of I deleted all my posts before the cut off period every time it was about to become permanent I deleted. So posting here is a big thing to me, but I cannot tolerate the immense soul crushing loneliness of my extreme isolation. No matter how hard I try, in person, or online always somehow seem to make another enemy or get abused in some way no matter how kind I am or how transparent. I don't know why this happens so often, it makes me think I may me l be a bad person.

Welcome to AF.

Quite understandable. Being online can be a very precarious undertaking for all kinds of reasons. Very real concerns that are difficult to ignore. However most of us just want to enjoy the Internet for what it is- or should be. Where for the most part you should maintain your vigilance in protecting yourself, but be able to recognize that you can keep only so much under your own control at the same time.

Yet here, I'd like to think we can all "let our hair down" a bit, in the company of people who we can likely relate to more than others in real-life. Which IMO can be quite liberating!

 

[Luca]

I'm so sorry you've experienced those things. But I am exactly the same way. I feel like every time I open myself up I get hurt again, so I don't trust most people.

But I have made a lot of friends on this forum who are very kind, understanding, and inspiring. Hopefully you will be able to take some positive things from their support and advice.

Welcome

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome. Very sorry to hear you have been treated so badly. It is brave of you to overcome your fears to join here. I hope your life now is better than in the past, and that you will feel better through being here. Some conversations here are serious and some are light hearted. And there are games you can join in too. I agree with you it's best not to identify yourself online, nor is it necessary. It's good that you are here.

 

[whisperingshadow]

Thank you everyone for the warm welcome. I figure I ought to attempt making friends who would be more likely to understand me and the way I am and not fear me for being different from them so much so the unknown causes them to alienate me and begin to hate me out of ignorance, so that's the reason I come here.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome! As you've found already, there are several different sides to this website.

 

[Aspychata]

Think the pandemic forced a lot of people to be alone. Bullies are out there. They come dressed as mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and so on. Friends that hurt me is really rough for me. I am relearning my boundaries, learning to say no, and finally, calling people on behavior that isn't healthy for either one of us. My path has been difficult but l still keep marching on.

What you opened up about has happened to many of us. So it's okay to discuss this. If you find something offensive or targeting you, just let @tree or @Nitro know by pm. They are quick to respond.

Congrats on your post by the way.

 

[Rodafina]

I cannot tolerate the immense soul crushing loneliness of my extreme isolation.

Ug. Same. It’s a horrible conundrum. Existing alone seems impossible. Existing with others seems quite impossible, too.

Loneliness has the chance to melt away here, maybe even just for a little while. There is a chance here to find connection or fun or at the very least diversion. And remember, you don’t have to come here and be best friends with everyone, I have been hugely benefiting from some casual acquaintanceship, something that is totally absent in my real life. Just people that I might play a game with or share funny jokes with.

And then, at the same time I find myself becoming genuine real friends through my favorite form of “talking“ through very meaningful and thoughtful messages.

And lastly, if it all gets too much or maybe you go a little further than you wanted to and you need to disappear for awhile, people here welcome you back with open arms when you are ready. It seems like it’s okay to be imperfect and have to hide for a little and come back and the people will still be here for you. It’s amazing, really.

 

[Shaddock]

welcome here

here are different types of subforums:

public forum (like this) - visible for everyone + bots and search engines

private forum Private Discussions (Members Only) - visible only for users (everyone can make an account)

VIP forum https://www.autismforums.com/forums/v-i-p-members-lounge.40/ - visible only for users who paid 10 dollars for VIP membership or who got a gift (people need at least to give out 10 dollar or need to be enough popular to get a gift)

+ your profile page, which can be set so that only people who you follow see your posts (whitelist), that´s more than VIP forum, because when you only allow 3 people to see it (people you follow), then only 3 people see it. and there are more than 3 VIPs here. (+ moderators). (you decide who can see your posts) but on profile page you have less space and people react more to normal posts, instead of profile posts usually.

so you can post everything only on your profile page with this "whitelist" feature or only in the VIP forum or you can mix your posts, based on how private a post is. (less private in less private forums and more private in more private forums).