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Not sure a romantic relationship is for me.

W

Wulven

Active Member
I saw a possible opportunity for one to develop today. But, hesitated. I was comfortable talking to this person. But, beyond that. I would be a drag and a parasite. So I stopped the idea dead.
I don't see a future in that part of life for me. Regardless of what life brings. I cannot support another. Or meet their needs. That's truth.
 
You know yourself best. However, you say "or meet their needs". The following question is meant to challenge your assumptions, not to be nagative. O.k.?

Do you read minds? Consider how you think you know what the other persons needs are. Did this person tell you directly what their needs are?

These questions are worth contemplating. What conclusions about these question do you arrive at?

Chat about it if you like, or keep your thoughts to yourself. Either way, answering these question honestly might allow you to see yourself differently than you did before.
 
I would say dont build boxes you dont need. Everybody is unique. Heres one from roddenberry
IDIC
infinite diversity infinite combinations.
Some folks just want to have someone that is the only one that they ever have sex with, but they only do sex rarely, or not at all. More like an alliance.
Some people have sex with their friends when they feel like it and then are friends the rest of the time. Some people only do the sex and that's all, no other relationship issues.
You can still easily satisfy a woman regardless of your physical condition. It's also easy to misinterpret signals. I would suggest the "what I want in a partner" exercise for yourself, it's just a list of ten attributes and character traits that describe an ideal partner, for you with no limits imposed. So you could say supermodel or wealthy heiress or champion athlete or whatever you like. One of mine on my list is "comfortable in self sufficiency and secure in her self image"
I like big lusty laughing loud women, who have lots of opinions, high levels of education, callused hands, and like growing flowers. See that's not so hard.

In general friends are more valuable than lovers. Thing is man isn't meant to live alone. Its unnatural. IDIC
 
Well, as long as you are working on your downside, which clearly you recognise, then I don't think it's a deal breaker. People may feel compassion towards the other persons downside, and be attracted to aspects they perceive as positive. We are all a work in progress.
 
Sometimes you're not ready and that's okay but sometimes we create a self-fulling prophecy. Maybe what this person needs is someone who is a "drag" haha. I consider myself pretty reserved and sometimes a "buzzkill." Surprisingly, some people are attracted to that. They have their head in the clouds and like some who can bring them back down to earth. Or they see my reserved nature as mysterious or mature.

I too feel that I'm too "weird" to be what most people want but I know I can't be the only weirdo out there...and even if I am, somebody's out there looking for a weirdo like me. We just have to find each other.
 
jleeb05 said:
Sometimes you're not ready and that's okay but sometimes we create a self-fulling prophecy. Maybe what this person needs is someone who is a "drag" haha. I consider myself pretty reserved and sometimes a "buzzkill." Surprisingly, some people are attracted to that. They have their head in the clouds and like some who can bring them back down to earth. Or they see my reserved nature as mysterious or mature.

I too feel that I'm too "weird" to be what most people want but I know I can't be the only weirdo out there...and even if I am, somebody's out there looking for a weirdo like me. We just have to find each other.
Click to expand...
Exactly so!
It takes courage to find your match. You have to be willing to be unabashedly yourself. But unless you do, unless you expose your secrets and worts, you can't really be sure that the object of you affection is right for you.
Best thing I ever did is drop my mask for my husband (when we met of course). He is still here :)
 
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