1564
New Member
Hi!
I'm almost 19 years old, female and I am questioning if I have aspergers.
I had friends trought my childhood, not many, but I had. They were just kids that lived near me and we had a lot of fun together. But I couldn't make any friends at elementary school.
In Middle school my family moved homes and I lost all my neighbour friends. I started watchin a lot of anime. And I mean A LOT - I watched so much that I accidentlly learned to speak Japanese... I would say that anime was my special interest.
After I got in highschool, I become friends with a few people from my class. The second year that friends group collapsed and I become a really close friend with about 4 girls in my class. They are a little shy and maybe that's the reason why we become friends. I'm not shy at all but I get along with shy people. I am famous like "the Random Facts Girl" - I speak too much about things that nobody seems to care about... Like "Did you know that there are no proven reasons for lefthandedness". I'm always like that...
Then my second special interest started. I was so interested in genetic deseases that I would always find myself researching the web for new one. Albinism, Down's, Wanderburg... you name it, I am interested in it. So I decided to become a doctor! But in my country it's really really hard for a girl to get to medical school, you have to start studying biology and chemistry 2 years before the exams in order to have any chance. I LOVE biology but chemistry wasn't my favourite. Even though I started to study for the exams all by myself. But my parents said I needed to go to private teacher at all cost in order to take my exams, and they weren't cheap at all. That become to create a lot of stress on me. I had to study for school, then study a lot for my exams, and make my parents pay a lot for the private teachers... And on top of that I had driving lessons that totally crushed my mental health. My driving teacher always yelled at me and that made me make even more mistakes while driving. My brain just panicked and stopped working. I begun to have constant panic attacks because of all that stress. So I gave up medical school in order to protect my mental health. I still think it would have turned out differently if I kept studying by myself. I still think doctors are really cool.
I started doing karate and I noticed it was really hard for me to do more that 3 blocks with my hands at a time even though everybody else seemed to be ok with it. Aside from that I am pretty good at karate and I even got higher rank belt than most of the other people there. I really find it difficult to coordinate my moves but when I practice a lot I could do it.
Since little when I was touched, or I was just being close to someone, it made me do a special gesture with my hands. This gesture made me feel like I created a bubble around myself so even if I was touched, it won't touch me really. I made that gesture even with my own parents unconciously, even though I know them well! It's really small gesture that only my mom noticed once, but generally nobody else noticed ever.
I have one more gesture that I need to do. I have to balance... If I touch my hand to something with tepreture other that my skin's, I need to touch it with my other hand too. If I squeeze my mussle, I need to do the same thing with my other hand. This habit also went unnoticed. I honestly don't know why I do it... But I have to do it.
I don't have problems making friends, but I always make neardy friends with weird interests like me. I prefer them to be like that.
When I ask somebody to describe me with only one word, that word is always "weird". Now it's more like a good "weird", but in middle school it was more like the bad meaning of the word. I used not to know anything about how to dress or act like a lady but now I learned a lot about it because all the other girls in my class are so ladylike.
When I was really into genetic deseases I learned about Aspergers and it really facinated me becouse I thought the special interests made aspies special. I never thought I had it, cuz I knew the symptoms and they did not discrabe me. But recently I learned that the symptoms of adult females are a little bit different that males'.
A am also asexual and I know there is a corelation between asexuality and autism. I also think I have ADD because I can't concentrate on anything that I am not interested in, although when I really try I come up with fun ways to study that made my grades really great.
Aside from that I am not sure if anything else I experience is a symptom. I won't go to an expert to diagnose me because in my country nobody will diagnose if you're on the high-functioning spectrum. Here autism is "invisible" if you can speak.
So, can you tell me do that sound like asperger, or am I just imaginating the syptoms. The diagnosis won't really change anything, but I still want to know.
I'm almost 19 years old, female and I am questioning if I have aspergers.
I had friends trought my childhood, not many, but I had. They were just kids that lived near me and we had a lot of fun together. But I couldn't make any friends at elementary school.
In Middle school my family moved homes and I lost all my neighbour friends. I started watchin a lot of anime. And I mean A LOT - I watched so much that I accidentlly learned to speak Japanese... I would say that anime was my special interest.
After I got in highschool, I become friends with a few people from my class. The second year that friends group collapsed and I become a really close friend with about 4 girls in my class. They are a little shy and maybe that's the reason why we become friends. I'm not shy at all but I get along with shy people. I am famous like "the Random Facts Girl" - I speak too much about things that nobody seems to care about... Like "Did you know that there are no proven reasons for lefthandedness". I'm always like that...
Then my second special interest started. I was so interested in genetic deseases that I would always find myself researching the web for new one. Albinism, Down's, Wanderburg... you name it, I am interested in it. So I decided to become a doctor! But in my country it's really really hard for a girl to get to medical school, you have to start studying biology and chemistry 2 years before the exams in order to have any chance. I LOVE biology but chemistry wasn't my favourite. Even though I started to study for the exams all by myself. But my parents said I needed to go to private teacher at all cost in order to take my exams, and they weren't cheap at all. That become to create a lot of stress on me. I had to study for school, then study a lot for my exams, and make my parents pay a lot for the private teachers... And on top of that I had driving lessons that totally crushed my mental health. My driving teacher always yelled at me and that made me make even more mistakes while driving. My brain just panicked and stopped working. I begun to have constant panic attacks because of all that stress. So I gave up medical school in order to protect my mental health. I still think it would have turned out differently if I kept studying by myself. I still think doctors are really cool.
I started doing karate and I noticed it was really hard for me to do more that 3 blocks with my hands at a time even though everybody else seemed to be ok with it. Aside from that I am pretty good at karate and I even got higher rank belt than most of the other people there. I really find it difficult to coordinate my moves but when I practice a lot I could do it.
Since little when I was touched, or I was just being close to someone, it made me do a special gesture with my hands. This gesture made me feel like I created a bubble around myself so even if I was touched, it won't touch me really. I made that gesture even with my own parents unconciously, even though I know them well! It's really small gesture that only my mom noticed once, but generally nobody else noticed ever.
I have one more gesture that I need to do. I have to balance... If I touch my hand to something with tepreture other that my skin's, I need to touch it with my other hand too. If I squeeze my mussle, I need to do the same thing with my other hand. This habit also went unnoticed. I honestly don't know why I do it... But I have to do it.
I don't have problems making friends, but I always make neardy friends with weird interests like me. I prefer them to be like that.
When I ask somebody to describe me with only one word, that word is always "weird". Now it's more like a good "weird", but in middle school it was more like the bad meaning of the word. I used not to know anything about how to dress or act like a lady but now I learned a lot about it because all the other girls in my class are so ladylike.
When I was really into genetic deseases I learned about Aspergers and it really facinated me becouse I thought the special interests made aspies special. I never thought I had it, cuz I knew the symptoms and they did not discrabe me. But recently I learned that the symptoms of adult females are a little bit different that males'.
A am also asexual and I know there is a corelation between asexuality and autism. I also think I have ADD because I can't concentrate on anything that I am not interested in, although when I really try I come up with fun ways to study that made my grades really great.
Aside from that I am not sure if anything else I experience is a symptom. I won't go to an expert to diagnose me because in my country nobody will diagnose if you're on the high-functioning spectrum. Here autism is "invisible" if you can speak.
So, can you tell me do that sound like asperger, or am I just imaginating the syptoms. The diagnosis won't really change anything, but I still want to know.
It's hard to help you with diagnosis when diagnosis is nigh impossible in your country for people on the high end of the spectrum, as you say. 
