Not sure on how to keep friends over the summer, Help?

[Sophia S]

Ive officially been on summer break for about a week now and I already feel lonely? For context I just finished a year at a new highschool and my first group of friends didnt really work out. I made some new ones in the last two weeks but they were already very close before that. I friended many of them on discord and while im around them I still feel isolated.

When I am at home I dont have the drive to do activities like draw or ride my bike and I usually end up just scrolling through youtube all day. I like being alone but i dont feel like im able to keep up conversations or to keep friends for very long.

I feel bad because I want to have friends but im bad at it and dont know what I should do. Is there something I can use to keep up my social interaction while also having a lot of “alone time”?

 

[tree]

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!

You're not alone in feeling that way. I've never really made friends at school.

Even at work, I found that many of my friends and acquaintances were transactional in nature and so once we no longer worked together (including transfer to different unit or location) we'd no longer stay in touch.

I think part of it, is about being proactive in contact and organizing things, but I'm probably not the best one to give advice on this topic - you may have seen in another recent topic where I mentioned that I am probably one of those who says too much and scares people away.

 

[Nitro]

 

[Wulven]

Hi.

 

[Aspychata]

Friends is tough in high school, then you graduate and barely stay in touch because then you are working. Best friends are the ones you like to see and talk to every night. Sometimes we just hit it off really well, but a lot of *friends* are just not really that.

Anyways, welcome. We hope to hear from you.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

If it's hard to hang out with them, maybe invite them to do an activity together. Even if you don't talk, just being with them.

Also, if your family is christian, you might consider going to a youth group. There's usually pizza, soda pop, games, and the kids are friendly enough.

Do any of them have a fandom they like or couples from movies or books that they ship? You could get on google docs together and work together to write a fanfic. You could chat in the sidebar too.

 

[Misery]

and I usually end up just scrolling through youtube all day.

To be 100% blunt and honest, one of the first things to do is to deal with this aspect right here.

It aint healthy or good in any way to merely sit and stare at Youtube or the TV or whatever all day. I say this even as someone who has been on the internet since it started.

If you let yourself get stuck in a rut like that, believe me: It WILL find a way to affect any friendships you may have... among the other problems it's pretty much guaranteed to cause.

You need to be doing more with your day than just staring at the screen. Even if you have to force yourself away from it.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Marie and I spent he lock down visiting family and friends, breaking the rules some time live your life your friends in school are still your friends reach out to them.

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Autism Forums!

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome. Maybe this newer group will work out better for you, I hope so. Yes it can be quite tough to keep in touch over the long holidays, perhaps you could text them, or email, and meet up if possible? I hope you will explore here now you've arrived, and update us on how you are doing with this, a lot of us here have had similar challenges.

For me, I think my brain processes differently from a neurotypical persons, and I find unstructured social interaction in a group difficult. Having shared interests often helps. And friends who are flexible and non judgemental ideally.

 

[Au Naturel]

Keep in touch by social media. Facetime is important too. Invite them to do things you know they enjoy. Maybe try to join them doing something you enjoy. Just be casual about it. If they sense desperation or pushiness, they will react.

Or you could accept that friends drift away. It happens. Find ways to enjoy yourself when you are not with friends.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I went for a walk this morning reflected on how I meet my various friends noticed most of them initially approached me as I am a loner, very similar to how a guy tries to meet a woman in a bar would be the closest analogy.

 

[tree]

@Sophia S
Is there something I can use to keep up my social interaction while also having a lot of “alone time”?

You could try sending them a drawing, in an envelope,
through the postal system. The surprise of snail mail
would be novel.

Before the internet people used to keep in touch by
writing to each other on paper. Penpals exchanged
pleasantries in letters and sometimes used things
called friendship books. Friendship book - Wikipedia

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

The group of very close friends I now have, and for 37 years, were all united in our common love for outdoor activities and initially met via the Sierra Club. We all have cross fertilized each other, cheerleading as we learned Whitewater paddling, scuba diving and even canoe building. We all acknowledge each other's quirks and have supported each other in fundamental ways through illness or difficulties. I really am blessed to know these people.

Start with common activities, even if it is difficult for you to organize something. Start simple and be grateful if they participate and enjoy your company.

 

[watersprite]

Welcome