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Not sure where I sit on the sexual spectrum?

AustinFrom1995

AustinFrom1995

Well-Known Member
I honestly have no idea where I sit on the spectrum of sexuality, like, at all. Sometimes I feel asexual, but other times I think "I wish I had a partner". Could someone kindly explain sexuality and where I might fit in? :)
 
Have you ever heard of a QPR or Queer Platonic Relationship? People partner with each other (perhaps even a committed relationship or multiple relationships) based on intense emotional connection that usually doesn't involve sex or romance (but it can). I am aromantic and asexual and the most I have felt towards anyone is a QPR. You could also be romantic and asexual, or perhaps greyromantic or demiromantic.
 
kbb0 said:
Have you ever heard of a QPR or Queer Platonic Relationship? People partner with each other (perhaps even a committed relationship or multiple relationships) based on intense emotional connection that usually doesn't involve sex or romance (but it can). I am aromantic and asexual and the most I have felt towards anyone is a QPR. You could also be romantic and asexual, or perhaps greyromantic or demiromantic.
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I would rather have an intense emotional bond between someone than have a relationship founded on sex, TBH. While I find sex interesting from a biological standpoint, I don't actually have an interest in partaking in it.
 
Finding someone I could trust with a true emotional bond is what is important to me. I am romantic Asexual so the sex bit means nothing to me.
Maybe you feel this way too? Unless by the term 'partner' you are referring to a partner to have sex with?
To me partner could just be a good friend that is there to help and be with and vice versa.
 
I am a mixture of asexuality and hypersexuality; but right now, very much asexuality, which is complicated when one is married to someone who is always hypersexual, so I am hoping ginsung will help me, as I do want to make hubby happy.

Finally have learned that for me, I rather have a deep intellectual conversation than the action of sexual activity.

I wondered if there was something wrong with me, because of the hype around sex itself, as the first time I did it, I thought: wow, what is wrong with me? I feel NOTHING.

To me, having that conversation of intellect is more powerful than the act of sex.
 
I have the same problem, I want a relationship, but I don't feel attracted to anyone. As for an answer to your question, I still haven't figured out the answer to mine. :D
 
SusanLR said:
Finding someone I could trust with a true emotional bond is what is important to me. I am romantic Asexual so the sex bit means nothing to me.
Maybe you feel this way too? Unless by the term 'partner' you are referring to a partner to have sex with?
To me partner could just be a good friend that is there to help and be with and vice versa.
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No, not one to have sex with. :) Just someone to be a friend and stuffs. Like I said, I would rather have an emotional bond than a sexual one.
 
I don't know how much I can help, but I'm 29 and I'm still questioning my sexuality. I thought for a long time that I was bisexual, and then recently I realized that I've never really was attracted to men and I'm really just physically attracted to women, but I've dated mostly men and realized it that was only attracted to them because of their personalities which seemed to be enough in the relationships for me at the time so I'm really questioning what exactly attraction means. I'm physically and emotionally attracted to women but I still get emotionally mattracted to men, which atbthe time seems okay, if that makes any sense. Sexuality is a very complex thing and it's hard to come up with a defined version of it.
 
Asexuality is as broad as any other orientation. As @kbb0 brought up some terms that are helpful to learn, and there are tons of others. I know that there is this internal drive to find a label to help define yourself, so you know how to define to others your intent. Be aware that this can grow and change as you develope, and definition in sexuality is more a starting point than an exact location, like someone saying "I live in the Europe." It gives a rough starting point.

There are lots of questions to ask of yourself to help.

Do you have a preference in the sex or gender of your partner?
Do you prefer one on one relationship or are you open to multiple partners?
Is the emotional connection platonic, life partner, or romantic?
When it does come to physical intimacy, what does interest you (hugs, cuddles, kissing, or nonstandard sexual interaction) or are you totally hand off?

As a quick asside I had a friend who embraced her asexuality since highschool, and was very happy about it. She began studying psychology and sexuality and found that the kink community had some interest to her. Sexuality there wasn't simply organism based, but skill, interpersonal relationship, and just outside simply mashing genitalia. While I'm not recommending any sort of swan dive into the kink scene, has any of that sort of physicality interested you?
 
Spencer Carr said:
Asexuality is as broad as any other orientation. As @kbb0 brought up some terms that are helpful to learn, and there are tons of others. I know that there is this internal drive to find a label to help define yourself, so you know how to define to others your intent. Be aware that this can grow and change as you develope, and definition in sexuality is more a starting point than an exact location, like someone saying "I live in the Europe." It gives a rough starting point.

There are lots of questions to ask of yourself to help.

Do you have a preference in the sex or gender of your partner?
Do you prefer one on one relationship or are you open to multiple partners?
Is the emotional connection platonic, life partner, or romantic?
When it does come to physical intimacy, what does interest you (hugs, cuddles, kissing, or nonstandard sexual interaction) or are you totally hand off?

As a quick asside I had a friend who embraced her asexuality since highschool, and was very happy about it. She began studying psychology and sexuality and found that the kink community had some interest to her. Sexuality there wasn't simply organism based, but skill, interpersonal relationship, and just outside simply mashing genitalia. While I'm not recommending any sort of swan dive into the kink scene, has any of that sort of physicality interested you?
Click to expand...

I would be interested in hugs and cuddles, but I do not think I would be at all comfortable with kissing, yuck. I'm sorry to seem like a prude, but I don't find smacking your lips with someone to be something I would enjoy. As for "genital mashing", as you put it, I am at a complete loss. :( I have no idea how I would feel about that.
 
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