Not Worried About Getting Married Anymore Post Reply New Topic

[FromEquestria2LA]

With my 30th birthday approaching soon (in April), and so many of my relatives (and friends) have gotten married/are engaged, it had me thinking: Ever since my rediagnosis on March 13, 2014, I'm not in any hurry to get married anymore.

Sure, I may be pursuing my career in the IT field, but I am not worried about finding love (not as much as my biggest dream: moving to Los Angeles) anymore, because I am now at peace with who I am now- but, at the same time, I am also optimistic that "my time will come" (if you get my drift).

What do you think of all this?

 

[Judge]

Me neither. But I'm in my 60s- not my 30s.

Though in my case my time came- and went some time ago.

 

[xudo]

I think so long as you're happy, then that's great.

 

[jamesaldrin]

This is why I wish I never found out I was autistic.

We put this label on ourselves and accept that we can't get married,have friends etc. as easily as others. It becomes like an excuse to give up.

 

[xudo]

This is why I wish I never found out I was autistic.

We put this label on ourselves and accept that we can't get married,have friends etc. as easily as others. It becomes like an excuse to give up.

Only if you let it be an excuse to give up. There are people here (myself included) who are married or in long term relationships, either with other people on the spectrum, or NT's.

 

[puzzlingbill]

I also made my career in the IT field, and I've been married more than 40 years (I'm aspie, wife isn't). So it CAN happen. You could get lucky like me and meet the right person.

 

[FreeDiver]

This is why I wish I never found out I was autistic.

We put this label on ourselves and accept that we can't get married,have friends etc. as easily as others. It becomes like an excuse to give up.

I don't think it would've made a difference. I didn't get my official label until I was 45 and before hand, I never had any luck with getting a woman. In fact, it was those facts about my life that drove me to get a diagnosis in the first place. Ignorance is not always bliss.

 

[Girl Anachronism]

Things ended between my former partner and myself (we're both aspies) about three months ago. We tried to reconcile in the hope of getting married but I came to realise that I'm nowhere near ready for marriage or another long term relationship so the other day we had to end that process.
As sad as it is, I'm feeling a bit relieved. All I need to do is focus on my studies, self-care and my career path and, who knows, maybe better luck next time. I'm still in my 20s so I've got plenty of time.

 

[nowwhat]

Being in a bad relationship is infinitely worse than being single and alone. The misery is compounded and even without the societal and legal connections of marriage, getting out of a bad relationship is stressful and can make real assholes out of both parties. The experience changes you. You do not walk away to a fresh start. You are lessened, tainted, jaded, or wounded. Do not be so eager. Single people have much autonomy, fewer repetitive arugments in their day, less psychological gamesmanship, etc. etc. Be grateful for your estate. A good relationship is a blessing and elevates both people, but such partnerships are not easy to achieve, or all that common.