Notice woman in a relationship are more friendly to me.

[Tony Ramirez]

It might be me but most women that approach me both in Church and at yoga are married or in a relationship. They are the ones who are kind talk and listen to me. Hold the door and say thanks.

The ones that are by themselves with no wedding ring are standoff age, snobby, distant and will give you a rude look if they look at you. Will not hold the door for you and if you try to talk to them they ignore or are not interested.

I do find it annoying that only woman that are taken talk to me but I try my best to accept it.

 

[tree]

Maybe some of the unmarried ones are afraid of you?

The married ones have a man they know will help them.

The unmarried ones are alone and could feel they need to
be careful.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

All I know is tonight in yoga class the married woman who saw me a few times in class talked to me before and after class.

The two woman to the left and right with no wedding ring were snobbish, would not look at me or give me the time of day.

 

[tree]

It may not be "snobbishness."

Snobbish is the word you're using, but
who knows what their motivations are?

How many unattached/single men were in your class tonight?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

How many unattached/single men were in your class tonight?

Besides me one and even him got a smile and a laugh from the woman to the right who talked to him. Of course he is muscular and looks macho not like the flab I am.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Also I remember one time I talked to a woman after class who smiled at me. She had to be married because she has a infant. She told me she had a kid and talked to me politely.

The night before a woman with no wedding ring slammed the door on me and another with no ring ignored me when I tryed to talk to her about the weather.

Then at church a woman named Tanya came up to me twice in two sepeate occasions. I was so happy because I thought she was single. I became serverly depressed last week when I found out she was married.

 

[The Pandector]

Knew a guy, menial labor around the lab. Married Christian. Truly ugly, head like a bowling ball, already scraggly balding in his mid twenties.

Every day, his wife packed his lunch in a paper bag and he would take his break while certain others were still working. Many days, he would sit next to one of the drop-dead beautiful secretaries ubiquitous in Silicon Valley in those days. He’d visit, listen, and share the Lord. You couldn’t watch him at his game for long without noticing that he really was engaging these women.

One time had to ask. He laughed from his belly. “I’m so ugly that those women know I know I don’t have a chance. So they relax.” I had to ask why he only did it with the beauties. “Ah,” he says, “other people can witness to the other girls; you have to be really ugly to share with the pretty ones. It’s a calling.”

That’s not a story about witnessing. Young women - maybe especially of the Christian variety - have to be cautious about attracting suitors. I think many of them have some sort of radar setup; it stands out in a crowd for them, and they have little choice but to be protective.

Trying to scrape together a moral… The more you walk around church looking like you’re looking for a mate, the more defensive the women are liable to be… unless you’re waaay better looking than me.

Married women assume you know you have no chance, and can afford to be friendlier towards you. You might want to spend quantities of time with the married women and see what they see in you. You might want to calibrate your self-image to reflect that this is your ‘baseline attractiveness,’ which the cautious girls will also appreciate when they let down their guard enough to know you.

 

[Lysholm]

I thought women assumed dudes in yoga classes were there just to find single women. This seems to be a priority of yours, so...yeah.

No, it's not fair. Especially since the body positivity movement has left out overweight men.

Married women, OTOH, are more likely to be busy, fulfilled, and confident in their identity, so they aren't going to judge random dudes so harshly or feel their attention is insulting.

 

[Mary Terry]

Women who are married may not wear wedding rings. I don't wear my rings very often and never wear jewelry when exercising.

When I was in college, several young women, myself included, occasionally wore fake wedding rings to deter overly aggressive males from trying to flirt with us when we were socializing at bars or disco/dance clubs.

 

[HLW]

I thought women assumed dudes in yoga classes were there just to find single women. This seems to be a priority of yours, so...yeah.

No, it's not fair. Especially since the body positivity movement has left out overweight men.

Married women, OTOH, are more likely to be busy, fulfilled, and confident in their identity, so they aren't going to judge random dudes so harshly or feel their attention is insulting.

 

[Stardust Parade]

Ok?…

 

[HLW]

Aaah I didn't mean to post that quote thing, don't know how that happened, sorry. What I wanted to say is...

Yeah it's for sure about not wanting to encourage unwanted romantic/sexual interest. Not saying you're like this at all but some men will read way too much into a friendly smile and just can't accept a no, they can even get violent when rejected, so women learn to act cold and disinterested as a form of self defense. You don't have to be quite so careful and guarded when you're already in a relationship, it's already established that you're not "on the market".

 

[selena]

Tony. I've read your posts on and off over these years. The tone you have in this thread is definitely veering into aggressive territory. It's okay to be frustrated, but it's not okay to label a woman "snobbish" for not wanting to talk to you. It's also not okay to imply women are shallow because they would talk to the muscular guy but not you. Please, check yourself.

I am not aware of the reason you started doing yoga, but if it's just to meet women then you should probably just stop going. I don't have a lot of experience with yoga classes myself, but they are normally a female-dominated space, and the few times men showed up to the classes I went to they were either with the wife/girlfriend or could do an actual headstand to prove their dedication to yoga. It is VERY rational for a woman to assume a flabby single man in a yoga class is on the hunt and to therefore avoid him.

If learning yoga really is the reason you're going, then don't let the women bother you and don't try to talk to them. Otherwise, you should probably switch to YMCA or Planet Fitness. They're less gendered, you'll get to meet people all the same (and I imagine they're cheaper than yoga classes), and trying to get fit may distract you from this obsession with finding a girlfriend. You've been on this for years with no success. Why not do something different, learn a new skill, and gain confidence in the process?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I am joining Planet Fitness soon to lose more weight. I know my odds of meeting someone their are pretty slim like everywhere I go. But one of the couples from lifegroup meet at a gym.

Also I know I have to stop thinking woman are snobs. It's just in high school they mostly ignored me and in college they completely ignored me so badly I starred to call them snobs. So it's hard to break that habit.

 

[paloftoon]

I'm not even able to meet people socially. Small group classes, if you can go regularly, you'll have a chance to meet people, but it's more expensive and even then, gyms are usually just "in and out".

 

[garnetflower13]

It might be me but most women that approach me both in Church and at yoga are married or in a relationship. They are the ones who are kind talk and listen to me. Hold the door and say thanks.

The ones that are by themselves with no wedding ring are standoff age, snobby, distant and will give you a rude look if they look at you. Will not hold the door for you and if you try to talk to them they ignore or are not interested.

I do find it annoying that only woman that are taken talk to me but I try my best to accept it.

It was the same with me; meaning that married men were nicer to me than single ones, and most of them seemed to be interested in having an affair, which I definitely did not want.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

It was the same with me; meaning that married men were nicer to me than single ones, and most of them seemed to be interested in having an affair, which I definitely did not want.

I've experienced the same with women. An annoying sign of middle age. (Though you don't even have to be that old.)

 

[paloftoon]

Women who are single want to make it known indirectly that they aren't interested in you sexually. So they'll be standoffish because if they are polite to you, then they are concerned they will think that they like you or that they will take that as a sign that they are into you. People don't say that, but it's there and that invisible social nuance won't go away.

 

[garnetflower13]

Women who are single want to make it known indirectly that they aren't interested in you sexually. So they'll be standoffish because if they are polite to you, then they are concerned they will think that they like you or that they will take that as a sign that they are into you. People don't say that, but it's there and that invisible social nuance won't go away.

That is absolutely true. When I was single, I often found that just being civil was interpreted as interest.