NT people who do half a job!

[Starfire]

Does anyone else find that many NT people seem to think it's ok to do half a job, (the cream), and leave the rest to the Aspie? The reason being apparently, Aspies 'enjoy the challenge', 'they are good with the fiddly stuff', 'they will spot the mistakes quickly' etc etc!

I'm on a real downer at work because I usually work on my own, but recently I've had to work with others. When I do my work I plan it in my head, do it, leave it complete and my workplace clean and tidy. I would never expect anyone else to have to tidy any loose ends behind me, it would bother me if that was the case. Why can't people be methodical, thorough, have pride in undertaking and completing a job without leaving the crap to someone else? I don't understand how you can feel that doing that is ok, it's just not right!

I'm finding it very upsetting and depressing and it's making me anxious. It feels like recently people think I'm only good for cleaning up their mess and doing what they can't be bothered to do. Sometimes I wish I could be like that, but it would be on my mind in the evening and weekends if I didn't do things properly. It would have an effect on my mood, sleeping, and digestion.

 

[WereBear]

Why can't people be methodical, thorough, have pride in undertaking and completing a job without leaving the crap to someone else? I don't understand how you can feel that doing that is ok, it's just not right!

I think it's because some NTs think surface is everything.

 

[Progster]

Yes, people are lazy. If they can get away with it, they'd much rather leave the dirty work to someone else to do. Especially if that person is kind, offers to help, etc - people exploit that. It's often passive - they see that a particular person usually takes on a certain job, or role, and then just let that person always do that task, even though the person might not want the role. If you are too nice, you become a doormat. You need to be assertive and say no sometimes to things like that and not allow others to exploit you - though I know that's not always easy...

 

[WereBear]

Yes, it is hard for our own inner integrity to see a job done badly. Even if it isn't our job!

 

[LucyPurrs]

I'm an NT but I have to agree with you. I don't know that I've ever worked with someone on the spectrum but when I was working I felt the same way you do about doing my job well and not leaving stuff to others. I used to do stuff to make the doctors lives easier like some of their paperwork at the clinic where I worked. The person who replaced me wouldn't do that and they were upset. But I figured that I had the time so why not be a good team member and go the extra mile. Team work is great if all members respect and value each others contributions but can be hell if not.

 

[LooseEnds]

Why can't people be methodical, thorough, have pride in undertaking and completing a job without leaving the crap to someone else? I don't understand how you can feel that doing that is ok, it's just not right!

Omg I totally get this. Is it because they just don't see the leftover bits (or care) and we see them (and care) extra clearly? It is so frustrating - I get so cross when it's all left for me to clear up, but I can't bear to just leave it! So I end up doing it and fuming. I am trying to Zen out a bit more but it is really difficult. I feel your pain .

 

[Starfire]

Yes, people are lazy. If they can get away with it, they'd much rather leave the dirty work to someone else to do. Especially if that person is kind, offers to help, etc - people exploit that. It's often passive - they see that a particular person usually takes on a certain job, or role, and then just let that person always do that task, even though the person might not want the role. If you are too nice, you become a doormat. You need to be assertive and say no sometimes to things like that and not allow others to exploit you - though I know that's not always easy...

You make some good points Progster, and perhaps it is just laziness. I just don't get how people can feel that's it's ok to leave the dirty work to a colleague. It makes it even worse if it's a colleague who tries to be kind or helpful, then that is actually quite a nasty thing to do to them. It is quite exploitative which would surly be on that persons conscience. It certainly would be on mine if I went out of my way to leave what I didn't want to do for no valid reason, for someone else to have to do. It doesn't feel good being the person who is put under pressure to complete other people's work, while still being expected to do their own.

 

[Starfire]

I'm an NT but I have to agree with you. I don't know that I've ever worked with someone on the spectrum but when I was working I felt the same way you do about doing my job well and not leaving stuff to others. I used to do stuff to make the doctors lives easier like some of their paperwork at the clinic where I worked. The person who replaced me wouldn't do that and they were upset. But I figured that I had the time so why not be a good team member and go the extra mile. Team work is great if all members respect and value each others contributions but can be hell if not.

I've never been a fan of team work for just the reasons you gave! There always seems to be someone in the team happy to take a backseat and do as little as possible. I've always preferred to work on my own and take responsibility for myself and what I do, then there are no arguments over who did or didn't do what. I find that a so much more logical way to run things and better for everyone, except the lazy ones!

 

[Starfire]

Omg I totally get this. Is it because they just don't see the leftover bits (or care) and we see them (and care) extra clearly? It is so frustrating - I get so cross when it's all left for me to clear up, but I can't bear to just leave it! So I end up doing it and fuming. I am trying to Zen out a bit more but it is really difficult. I feel your pain .

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! It's a good question, but I think some people don't care enough to pay attention to detail. Mistakes, snagging, imperfections just just jump out at me even when I'm not looking for them. I often have to bite my tongue as I'm already the outsider/loner on the squad, and while I blend in chameleon style, that wouldn't last long if I pointed out what I saw. It is so frustrating, I even began to think this morning that perhaps I should go back on antidepressant meds again but why should I, it's not me making the mistakes and I never leave anything for anyone else to do. It is however me who seems to carry the weight while others merrily go about their careless business.
I need to try and Zen out a bit too

 

[Starfire]

Yes, it is hard for our own inner integrity to see a job done badly. Even if it isn't our job!

I completely agree with you about this! It would really bother me and I would carry it around inside. I was brought up hearing my grandmother endlessly say "if a jobs worth doing, it's worth doing well", I may have taken her advice too literally, not that that would be unusual.

 

[LucyPurrs]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! It's a good question, but I think some people don't care enough to pay attention to detail. Mistakes, snagging, imperfections just just jump out at me even when I'm not looking for them. I often have to bite my tongue as I'm already the outsider/loner on the squad, and while I blend in chameleon style, that wouldn't last long if I pointed out what I saw. It is so frustrating, I even began to think this morning that perhaps I should go back on antidepressant meds again but why should I, it's not me making the mistakes and I never leave anything for anyone else to do. It is however me who seems to carry the weight while others merrily go about their careless business.
I need to try and Zen out a bit too

Not sure if acute attention to detail is limited to aspies as I have this also. It may be just more reflective of personality type. I get really bothered by my own typos for example and I do notice sloppy stuff wherever. But I agree that aspies likely have more inner integrity about the work they do.

 

[LooseEnds]

I need to try and Zen out a bit too

I am trying to learn or at least accept that everything in the world doesn't have to be done 'my' way... just like I guess I am asking the NT world to have the same attitude towards me. (...kind hard tho' when you know your way is the right way LOL )

 

[Starfire]

Not sure if acute attention to detail is limited to aspies as I have this also. It may be just more reflective of personality type. I get really bothered by my own typos for example and I do notice sloppy stuff wherever. But I agree that aspies likely have more inner integrity about the work they do.

I'm sure you're right about that! The acute attention to detail I have at work comes from doing the same trade for a lot of years. It comes from experience and repetition. I just know when a worktop is not level, when a doorframe is out of square, when walls aren't plumb, when tiles are a fraction out, etc, etc. I don't need tools to tell me, i see things in patterns, shapes, angles and numbers so I just know when things are not right.
Anyone can develop 'having an eye' for for things over time whatever they do, Aspie, NT, or anywhere between.

 

[Judge]

Intense focus. Attention to detail. All relative to a work ethic. I get that.

When I worked for a major software entertainment firm, there were many people on the spectrum working there. Yet when I look back, I can't fault the dedication and abilities of the NTs doing the same job either. Maybe it was just the nature of the job, where virtually everyone seemed to feel privileged to be there, make good money in the process and actually enjoy their work.

Though when I look back at my days in the insurance industry, what Starfire is saying seemed a bit more apparent in retrospect. Being in the workplace is something that may set us apart from others for better or worse I suppose. I guess it just depends on the individuals you are ultimately working with and the routine tasks one is assigned to get the job done right and on time.

That some work environments may foster such concerns while others may not.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Intense focus. Attention to detail. All relative to a work ethic. I get that.

When I worked for a major software entertainment firm, there were many people on the spectrum working there. Yet when I look back, I can't fault the dedication and abilities of the NTs doing the same job either. Maybe it was just the nature of the job, where virtually everyone seemed to feel privileged to be there, make good money in the process and actually enjoy their work.

Though when I look back at my days in the insurance industry, what Starfire is saying seemed a bit more apparent in retrospect. Being in the workplace is something that may set us apart from others for better or worse I suppose. I guess it just depends on the individuals you are ultimately working with and the routine tasks one is assigned to get the job done right and on time.

That some work environments may foster such concerns while others may not.

Eminently sensible Judge.

 

[WereBear]

It is essentially a criminal mindset, which can strike anywhere. They always want to feel they are clever enough to con others.

 

[OkRad]

Haha. No. I think it's confirmation bias. We see things they do not so we assume they are letting things go, but they are not seeing them.

If I were in a room with Stephen Hawking, he would surely thihnk, "Lordy mercy, that is one daft soul..." I mean, I don't know what he would think, but you know. In a room of geniuses, I would be the slow dummy.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Boundaries. My impulse on any project is to want to do the whole thing myself and do it all perfectly and do it the way I want. but I have to set boundaries to keep both myself and others on track.

Case in point: I wrote one part of a software development kit that others are supposed to use to write their software. Someone in another department wrote to me once and said, "I need to write one of these. How do I do it?"

So, I replied with, "It's pretty easy. Here's a sample that you can use."

They wrote later, "Thanks. I need another one, with these other special features."

I replied again with, "Here's code that will do that special thing."

By this time, I had discussed their dependence and their need to do their own work with my boss. I had my reply ready for next time, and my boss's approval on it. They wrote a third time and asked, "Can you write us one that does this new thing now?" I wrote back, "That sounds like quite a challenge. Let me know how it turns out."

I never heard back from them.

Boundaries. Good fences make good neighbors.

 

[Starfire]

Maybe it was just the nature of the job, where virtually everyone seemed to feel privileged to be there, make good money in the process and actually enjoy their work.

This is a great point and not one I had considered before! I hear guys on a daily basis talking about leaving, or taking voluntary redundancy or how much we should be getting paid compared to what we are paid etc. I on the other hand, feel incredibly lucky and privileged to have a job I enjoy, when I'm working on my own. I'm well aware of the scarcity and transient nature of work in the construction industry so I'm grateful for the continuity of work too. I was a journeyman for a long time and I couldn't face going back to that.

 

[Starfire]

We see things they do not so we assume they are letting things go, but they are not seeing them.

This is an interesting point but I'm not sure if it's always true. Does it not presume we have some kind of Aspie magic superpower that we can see things others can't? The only way I could test this hypothesis is to constantly ask people "just out of interest, do you know that you missed this, or that is not level, do you know you didn't cut this straight etc?"

Where I work that would be likely to end in a broken nose, and the swift loss of my chameleon like ability!